Well, aren’t you just the sweetest thing.
One’s words can be civil–the ATMB requirement–without compromising one’s standards. One can call out others, even insult, while remaining civil.
I completely disagree. This is a classic Miss Manners line. You just need to smile when delivering it.
“Civil” does not equate “nice”.
Oh my, I as well would be very surprised if Idle Thoughts was a female. Very surprised indeed. Females aren’t usually concerned with weight. But, like you said, you just gosh darn can’t very well tell even though he posted, in this thread, he was a male just an hour before you posted.
Miss Manners is pretty much the epitome of incivility. She recommends being a passive aggressive jerk to people. There’s a reason why she’s considered a relic of days gone by than anything anyone actually listens to today.
No, civility isn’t niceness. But it’s not passive aggressiveness, either. No attempt to get in some swipe against someone else is civil. If you have a complaint with someone, the civil thing to do is bring it up directly, but without accusatory language. Bring up your criticism in a polite way.
I don’t know what is going on in Colibri’s life that he’s decided to become all snappy lately. I do know he’s not normally like this, so I’d just recommend giving him a wide berth until he cools down. Since he’s a mod, we can’t really do anything else.
That, BTW, is why I haven’t gone back into that other thread. I saw that Colibri responded even after the thread was specifically closed to let people cool down, and I knew that he’s going to say something infuriating. That’s the mood he’s in right now.
This is ridiculous. mhendo isn’t trying to feign anything. He followed the rule to the letter while directly responding to a post made in that thread. There was nothing in either of their posts about rape allegations, and no moderation was needed at all.
If you want to moderate posts like that (which is understandable, even if I disagree), then expand the topic ban. Otherwise, leave that alone.
One of these things is not like the other.
Regards,
Shodan
Thank you for your input. 
No, I disagree heartily. I follow Miss Manners all the time and she certainly isn’t a relic of days gone by. She has excellent tips on how to answer rude, prying questions that I get all the time, like:
Why don’t you have kids?
Why aren’t you married?
Where are you from?
The answer listed upthread should be delivered with a smile, and should be genuine, as should Miss Manners’ responses. If you are reading passive-aggressiveness into them, that’s probably on you, though I submit that in casual encounters, passive-aggressiveness is better than outright aggression, especially when you don’t want to answer a question. Or do you submit I should answer, “Where are you from?” with “Fuck you, I’m an American,” which is what I really want to say?
I’m glad you’ve come out against passive aggression. 
Ninjad by Shodan.
Heavens to Betsy, you are absolutely right! Charlie Wayne must not have noticed that post, which is why he said what he did. I’m sure it was an honest mistake, and that Idle Thoughts will not take offense. Who knows, by gum, maybe they can even meet in person one day to share a drink! I have recently discovered a wonderful lemonade called Country Time. It is a powder that you mix with water to make delicious lemonade! I like it because unlike other kinds of lemonade that I have tried, it is not too tart and not too sweet.
Moderator Note
While you can argue that Idle Thoughts set himself up for this gender confusion issue with his last April Fools joke, I think he’s been given enough grief over it on the SDMB. Let’s give that a rest and focus on the actual moderation issue here, please.
I suppose you could say it’s lemonade, but being almost lemonade isn’t being lemonade. I think I’m correct on that, but I may not be. But, you just never can tell, I suppose. Can you?
All these posts in this thread and I didn’t see a single link to the thread in question. So here.
Dalej42 made several comments throughout about how MLB players should not be suspended for (alleged or actual) spousal abuse. Then the main event starts at post #311.
I have no comment on the merits of this case, except possibly that both parties (Dalej42 and mhendo) were annoying, Dale for repeatedly going to his hobbyhorse issue, and mhendo for snapping and escalating inappropriately.
Thank you for making this point, Morgenstern. I had never considered how being almost lemonade might not be lemonade!
Again, thank you for bringing this to my attention. I had never considered it. But you make a very good point about it. Almost lemonade is not lemonade! I have never thought about this point about lemonade.
Moderator Note
That’s enough.
Any more of this nonsense and I am going to start handing out warnings.
Actually, the OP has a link to the thread. It’s the little blue arrow behind “Idle Thoughts” in the quote box. Though that link centers on his post, and to get to the top of the thread you have to scroll back/use page links.
Due to this, I scrolled through the thread for dalej42’s posts. His first post dealing with the issue of domestic violence is post 227.
link to news article omitted
That discussion continues with other posters weighing in. dalej42’s posts below:
That’s what leads up to post 311, where dalej42 is actually only talking about showboating on the field. However, he expressed the opinion several times previously that domestic violence is something the league should ignore, and leave to the legal system.
So mhendo’s post about whacking girlfriends is in direct response to numerous statements by dalej42 on the issue of domestic violence. Yet somehow mhendo is provoking him? Sure, there’s snark there, but snark has never been off limits. His comment is directly in response to dalej42’s statements, not some extra awareness that some topic is off limits for him.
Also, if dalej42’s topic ban does include any discussions of domestic violence in sports, then he has clearly violated it several times prior to this incident.
I also agree that if dalej42’s topic ban is supposed to cover domestic violence in sports, that needs to be clearly stated up front. Expecting other posters to avoid provoking him when they don’t know it’s off limits is ridiculous.
There you go again. You guys are fucking mind-readers! And to think I suggested that those giant hoop earrings made you look cheap and tawdry, but they really do complete the look.
:smack:
You are correct!
Yes, i mean to say first post on that page.
I totally agree, and I think everyone knows Idle Thoughts and I don’t see eye to eye on many things. It’s rather childish to give him a hard time over a little joke.
Sorry, that’s one of the nuances that I always forget.
(snips)
One thing that I don’t think has been mentioned is the ambiguity of the word “whack.” While it might be intended to mean “hit” lots of people immediately went to the more colloquial meaning of “murder.” One is right in line with Dale’s posts, the other is an unsupportable escalation. Because of the ambiguity I would have opted for a note instead of a warning, but that’s one of many reasons I’m not a mod.