Just like the title says, just fill in the blank. 
Dark ‘N’ Stormy
Contaminated tap water.
A tall warm glass of piss.
Moscow Mule Ass
Colonoscopy Prep.
Not strong enough.
That gross drink from Chicago.
Kick In The Head
Malort
Whiskey sourpuss.
Yeah, mixed with sewage just cause. Cheers to 2025!
Surströmming and Coke
Sadder Budweiser
That would make it better.
Michelobotomized.
Strychnine.
Cosmopolitan.
Bitter gall.
The “gall” was a bitter substance likely derived from plants such as wormwood, myrrh, or hemlock. It was mixed with posca, a cheap sour wine commonly consumed by Roman soldiers. It acted as a mild narcotic or anesthetic intended to dull the pain of crucifixion or stupefy the victim. Jesus famously tasted it but refused to drink it, choosing to remain fully conscious during his suffering.
Jesus was a better person than I am.