With approximately 75% of the population either having recurrent coldsores, or carrying the virus and being lucky to not get them very often, or carrying the virus and not knowing, I’d say the better question to ask a new mate is do you mind taking the risk of one or both of us having herpes?
Wait it jumped from 25% on the first page to now 75%. Damn its spreading fast!
haha that’s why everyone is so scared of it!
Mostly the fact that I was overtired (fixed by a nap) and hungry (fixed with dinner) and being a cranky bitch (that may never ever be fully fixed, but I’m working on it). I apologize, I shouldn’t have jumped on you like that. But it seemed like you were trying to draw a distinction between cold sores and herpes. Upon rereading with less tired cranky eyes, I see that you’re trying to draw a distinction between oral and genital outbreaks. So, more calmly, let me answer: no, it doesn’t matter. If you have oral herpes, I can still catch herpes from you, and I can have outbreaks on my mouth (which aren’t the end of the world, but are ugly and embarrassing and would make me miss days of work, not to mention have to tell future partners that I have herpes) or I could have outbreaks on my vulva, anus, thighs (which…ow) or I could have outbreaks in my lungs or brain which could potentially kill me. While I might be willing to risk all that if you’re a really groovy guy and I think we have a better than average chance of being each other’s only partners until death do us part, the choice to assume that risk should be mine, not yours.
Estimates really are all over the place, depending on which strain, what location and which demographic. I could probably find you citations for any of those numbers, or even greater.
Thanks WhyNot.
I promise I was not trying to draw a distinction between cold sores and herpes (I wasn’t aware people tried to do that).
It is interesting to learn that there are people so passionate about herpes! I honestly never knew, and it’s always been a complete non-issue to me.
I will take care to inform others in the future, and because of this discussion, talked about it with my current boyfriend.
So, thank you for letting me know this is a big deal to some people, and something I should think about when initiating romantic interactions with others.
Y’know, I had the same exact realization many years ago regarding HPV. I knew I had cervical dysplasia, and I knew that most cervical dysplasia is caused by HPV, so I put two and two together, sort of, and realized that I probably had HPV. But for some reason, I never got to the really important part - realizing that I should tell my prospective partners that I probably had HPV. I had a rather angry dear friend (who I’d slept with) sit me down and point out how very very wrong and unfair that was of me. Wow, that was just not a fun discussion. But he was totally right. I apologized as well as I could to a man who’d I’d put in the very horrible position of now having to tell all *his *future partners that he might have HPV, and luckily our friendship survived. Our intimacy didn’t.
I think you are being wise here. This is information that any partner needs to know. I suppose part of the reason why folks don’t think about it is that so many people have cold sores that it’s pretty much normal, and so I guess many consider that it’s obvious and don’t really think about it.
Now of course, one shouldn’t get carried away: whatever the correct proportion of the human population is, it’s obvious that a lot of us carry this virus. Most of us seem not to die of brain or lung lesions, so I would ask WhyNot if he or she has any mortality figures.
Actually, my greatest worry is not so much that I die from it, but that I accidentally transfer it to my eye. Apparently it can live there. But in the end, it’s a nuisance, albeit one that I would inform any potential sexual partner about.
Mortality for neonatal HSV infection (newborns) is commonly listed at 90%. 50% of the surviving 10% will have neurological deficits like cerebral palsy. Estimates for how often it happens in the US are pretty all over the map: somewhere between 1 in 3,000 and 1 in 20,000 live births.
Herpatic encephalitis (brain swelling) happens to about 1 or 2 people per million in the population each year (that is, 1 in 1,000,000 in the UK or 1 in 500,000 in the US) so yeah, it’s not a huge risk. But it’s pretty horrible when it does happen. The mortality rate is over 70% if untreated, and 19% if treated. Of those that survive, more than half will have severe lifelong neurological deficits. Even with prompt identification and appropriate treatment, nearly 2/3 of survivors will have some residual neurological deficits. Encephalitis and Meningoencephalitis (Causes, Symptoms, and Treatment)
Oh, forgot the lung form. That one is mostly a problem, and mostly fatal, in people with compromised immune systems, like those with HIV/AIDS or undergoing chemotherapy. But since HSV lives in you forever, you can develop herpatic pneumonia years after you’re infected with herpes. No way to know if one day you’ll be on chemotherapy and suddenly your HSV will reactivate and make a run for the lungs, esophagus or trachea.
I recently tested negative for both HSV-1 and HSV-2 (lucky me!) Can I be confident that I don’t have herpes, or could I have just been tested during a dormancy period? I’ve never had a symptom, but the prevalence of HSV-1 in the population would make me think it’s very likely I do have it, except for the test.
“Hey babe, before you blow me, let me ask you, do you by any chance have herpes??” :dubious:
You’ve got to be kidding me.
And if you’d quoted the rest of my post, I did say that Type II was less likely to be oral than Type I was to be genital.
How were you tested? If it was a blood test, dormancy shouldn’t make much difference, as the antibodies will show up even when there aren’t active outbreaks. I don’t know if they can diminish enough after a very long period without viral activity that they wouldn’t show up on a blood test.
That’s a question for the doctor. I *think *you can be confident you don’t have herpes, but test interpretation is beyond my pay grade. 
Loves conquers all. Even genital warts.
It might take some vigorous doing, mind you.
I am uncertain of the specifics, but there are two degrees of testing: one that detects a new or currently active infection, and a much more difficult one that detects latent infections. I just recently tested negative on both, for example, even though I’ve carried H2 for 30 years.
It happened more like this, hey babe, you blew me the other night, let me ask you, do you by any chance have herpes? Actually, it was, you mentioned you had oral surgery to remove your wisdom teeth, is that all healed up or did you have anything going on in there that was unsafe?
Seriously. No one would do that. Or the other way around. “Wait, before we proceed, I need to tell you something. I had a cold sore three years ago.”
I agree with this. Telling me you have herpes makes you look like a very mature, honest, courageous person.
I do not have herpes. I am also not looking for a relationship, as I am married, but should I ever be “looking” again, a potential lover having herpes will not be the deciding factor in whether he becomes an actual lover.
I gave blood and urine, and was screened for eight common STDs, so I can’t say for sure the blood was used for the HSV test.