I think the point was- why are genital herpes considered so much worse than regular cold sores? In other words, would anyone ever ask the question “If someone had cold sores would you move on?”.
When I was diagnosed recently the Dr expalined I had the variety usually associated with cold sores, I thought it was type 1 but may be type 2. I asked if that was less serious than the regular genital herpes and he said thier was basicaly little difference. If I had the cold sore variety on my genitals then I still had herpes.
How would you know them well enough to have them become a loved one without having this become known beforehand?
No, I would not reject someone on that basis.
I married someone with herpes. Now I have it myself. I love her - it was worth it.
I mean, every so often I get a spot on my pee-pee. I’m an adult, I can deal with that. Far worse things have happened to me in 41 years.
“No, no baby, that’s just a cold sore.” 
Nothing to see here!
I have no reason to believe I have herpes and sure do not want it. I also believe many people have it and choose not to tell a prospective partner. If someone tells me they do not have herpes they could be lying or just not know. I could still get it. If they tell me beforehand I will give them mega credit for making a tough decision that chases many people away. I would consider the potential parter an honest person that can handle life’s hard times. Face fears. I would be better able to protect myself than with a person who lied or did not know. They would pro ally be honest about other areas of their life as well.
So for me it would probally be a deal maker.
I cannot tell you how many times I’ve heard that, even when they knew full well that a cold sore IS herpes.
Now that level of dishonesty and duplicity is a dealbreaker, and a total turn off. It has nothing to do with the herpes, and everything to do with someone willing to lie to me and put my health at risk so s/he can get laid.
Something else I wanted to add but was a little embarrassed. Since I have gotten older I sometimeire a bit more stimulation to finish, it seems like the virus only acts up when she rubs a little raw spot while hepling me along manually, I might be wrong on this but it does seem to be the case.
Genital is Type II, oral is Type I. But since they share 50% of their DNA, I don’t know how much real difference there is. As far as I know, the oral type is a bit more aggressive, and easier to transmit down south than to transmit the pants variety to the lip. But I’ve heard of it going both ways.
This is incorrect. I don’t even know if your 25% is accurate but telling people that you aren’t going to catch herpes if the person they are with is not in an active outbreak is flat out wrong. Do your research, and look up viral shedding before you post something so wrong about something that’s so important
This advice column is interesting. I can tell you that the advice given does NOT work, and I’m speaking from personal experience. In fact, I handled it EXACTLY the way that’s suggested, right down to the “OK, I need to find out more about this and what my risks would be. I appreciate your telling me.” That is almost a verbatim quote from me to a woman who just told me she had genital herpes.
So, I did just that, and told her two days later that it was ok with me as long as we took the proper precautions. But when I told her what I had decided, it was too late for her. Basically, she told me that when I told her that I needed to find out more about it, she considered that a rejection, and she was so hurt, she decided the relationship was over.
That was ok with me, though. I didn’t want to catch herpes from a casual sexual partner, and if she and I couldn’t get beyond this small hurdle, there probably wasn’t any real future for us.
Who are you having sex with?
Most people do NOT have it. I’m only referring to oral herpes and genital herpes, now… But I do not have either one of these unless I do and it is dormant.
Both types can cause similar lesions anywhere on the body - face, lips, mouth, fingers and toes, genitalia.
This is true, but typically Type I is oral, and Type II is genital.
No, this is not true. Either HSV1 or HSV2 can and are found in both spots, or in the digestive tract or in the respiratory tract or even in the brain (this is…not good.) This is not new news, and I have no idea why it’s taking so long to get it into the public consciousness. Here’s a news report debunking the distinction, published nearly 30 years ago, in 1984.
While oral herpes are still more likely to be HSV1, genital herpes are now up to 50% HVS1. The distinction is now entirely useless unless you’re doing research into DNA.
I’ve literally never even thought to mention to a prospective partner that I have herpes. It’s literally something I almost never think about, and something so many people have, it seems silly that it would matter to anyone.
Can someone who is against dating someone with herpes please clarify my earlier question? Would you stop dating or refuse to date someone who only had herpes outbreaks on their nose/mouth and never on their genitals? Or is any coldsore anywhere good enough reason for you to break it off?
I really would like someone to answer me here.
I get a coldsore on my lips and inside my nose maybe 4 or 5 times a year, they last a few days and then go away.
I’ve never had an outbreak on my genitals.
Who here would be driven away from dating me based on that fact alone? That’s what I’m asking.
So if a woman is about to engage in oral sex with a man, and she carries the Herpes 1 virus, is she obligated to tell him, or should he be the one to ask? In other words, who is it onus upon to tell/ask?
Personally, I think the onus is on the person with the disease to tell.
Legally, the onus is on the person with the disease to tell. Morethan one personhas been successfully sued for large sums of money for giving their partner herpes without telling them.
Yes, drewtwo99, this includes you. Recurrent cold sores are HSV. Herpes. You have herpes.
Thanks for answering my question WhyNot.
What part of my post made you feel like I was denying that I had herpes, or that you needed to reiterate several times that I have it? I am aware I have herpes.
It may be NBD but I’d still prefer to continue to not have it.
“Chirpes”, the chicken pox gives you chirpes. Similarly undesirable and a whole lot harder to hide from your partner.
Ugh, badly stated yes. In other words, if the guy was someone I *could *see myself falling in love with.