If a softball player shits in the woods, does he still have to pay taxes?

Mr. Mayor–
Once again, the rest rooms at the South Side Complex have been inexplicably locked. While it is obvious that you have no desire to maintain the field, there are many people who do enjoy using the ball fields in spite of your neglect. During your campaign in the primary election, you bragged that city residents now have somewhere to go. You were no doubt referring to your pet projects of Nay Aug and Weston Field, because I can assure you, when the rest rooms at the South Side Complex are locked, the only place for us to go is in the woods. I doubt that’s what you meant by “having somewhere to go.”
On behalf of the people who use the field and pay the city league fees which should be used to maintain the field and its property, please unlock, clean, and maintain the restrooms.

A turn of the key, an occasional broom and/or mop, a light bulb now and then, especially in the men’s room, and a fresh roll or two of toilet paper is surely not too much to ask. If you refuse to maintain the field otherwise, at least give us the dignity of not having to relieve ourselves in the woods like animals. Voting, taxpaying animals.
John Q. Taxpayer
How’s that for a letter to the editor?

You could always go over to Sat on Cookie’s house.

Next thing you know, someone will see you in the woods and report it. The mayor’s next move will be to increase spending on patrols to keep you degenerates from sullying the good land. :smack:

Is his bathroom unlocked?

How did I not think of that ETF? Nice one

Wow. If your team name is the Bears, it would really answer the age-old question.

Or the Popes…

While the hijacks in this thread are pretty funny, I thought I’d address the OP.

I think that’d be a great letter to the editor. Especially if you could work in Clothahump’s bit about the Bears. :slight_smile:

I e-mailed it in yesterday. I took the chicken shit way out, though, and didn’t use my real name. I don’t know if they’ll publish it. We’ll see. They might. The paper isn’t a big fan of the current administration.

Looks more like a letter to the mayor.


We’re all about “open letters” to people.

You hang out with a higher class of athlete than I do. All the softball players I’ve known actually did prefer to shit in the woods.

Yeah, I get it. I was just trying to be funny. Sometimes it works, sometimes not so much. . . :wink: