SIGH.
You mean you’re just oblivious, not completely turned off?
This would have been nice to know a few years ago…
Being a bit on the slow side is much better than being too hasty. Ask any woman and she’ll tell you a guy who is the opposite, who is pushy and makes unwelcome advances is the worst thing.
But nine years too slow?!
Take heart. Sometimes doing nothing is the right thing.
I could list several girls from back in my high school days who flirted with me like crazy - and even looking back on it now, years later, I still think they were flirting with me; it wasn’t just in my mind - who later turned out to want nothing to do with me. I made a complete ass of myself several times.
There was one girl in particular. We met at work, a phone center where we could choose our own station every day. She usually got there before me every day, and she’d save me a place next to her and keep her eye out for me to make sure I sat next to her. We’d talk for hours every night. We’d go to dinner together on our breaks. And she was the one instigating all this. We’d make plans to go to movies or whatnot - again, always her idea - then she’d flake out at the last minute. This went on for about a year. A couple of years later, I learned that she’d had a steady boyfriend all that time that she’d never bothered to mention. They’re married, in fact, last I heard. If I live forever, I will never understand what that was all about.
I’m not sure whether to take heart that I am not alone and all you guys are or were as much of a loser as I was or am, or whether to just run screaming from this thread as fast as I can to avoid being forced to even think about this topic.
Sing after me in your best Frank Sinatra style:
"Regrets, I have a few,
But then again,
Far too many to bear thinking about"
[sub]Doesn’t quite scan, does it? Oh, well.[/sub]
Dude, we should form a club or something. Clueless Idiots Anonymous, how does that sound?
Not that I got a tremendous amount of action in my younger years, but I did all right I suppose. But each and every time (with one or two exceptions), the girl had to pretty much kiss me before I took notice.
Same with my current girlfriend. And I can’t even use the caveat of youth: I was 28 when I met her. Almost 29, in fact. It wasn’t until after the third kiss that I figured she was actually being serious.
The real miracle is, for both jjimm and me, is that both of us somehow ended up with complete babes. 
Somehow I think Clueless Idiots Anonymous is already taken…
Enjoy,
Steven
Sign me up.
When I was a freshman in college, a girl asked me to see a volleyball game & catch a midnight showing of A Clockwork Orange with her. Sounds fun. Sounds fun enough that I thought it would be even more fun if I brought a friend! A girl. :smack:
Yeah, it was supposed to be a date. I didn’t figure that out for a year… I brought a girl to a date.
Hehe, good OP Miller.
I once fancied a guy who told me
“I’m really clueless and I need to get hit over the head with a shovel before I realize someone fancies me.”
And I didn’t hit him on the head with a shovel. Because I thought he wouldn’t be interested.
So it works both ways …
I find it easier just to block out my early romantic years. I pretend I was mangled in a car crash and spent those years relearning how to feed myself. It’s better.
If I accidentally remember back, I can separate the missed opportunities (and there were many, in retrospect) into two categories: Before Mean Girlfriend and After Mean Girlfriend. The BMGs aren’t quite so bad, because I was really horribly clueless. But the AMGs are truly awful, because I often knew these people liked me but thought “no, it would be wrong to break up with Mean Girlfriend. Maybe if I’m really nice to her, she’ll suddenly start being nice, like the hot girl in my French class who obviously likes me.” Sigh… :smack:
D’oh. 
All right then.
United Clueless Lovers Anonymous. D’oh!
Federation of United Clueless Knobs. Hmmm.
Depressingly Obtuse Hombres. D’oh!
Ah well. We’ll stick with CICBACUGA: Clueless Idiots who Can’t Be Arsed to Come Up with a Good Acronym.
Believe me, this isn’t limited to you guys. We girls suffer from it too.
Several years ago I was grumbling over email to one of my guy friends about not getting to see the new version of Star Wars. Being the poor college student that I was, I was vehicularly challenged and couldn’t find a friend with wheels who wanted to see the movie. So my guy friend, Rob, offered to take me. We went, had a good time, ended up seeing Empire a few nights later, and even made plans to see Return of the Jedi.
It took one of my best girl friends telling me; “So I hear you’re dating Rob…” for me to get a clue. Up until then, I’d thought it had just been a buddy thing, two pals seeing a movie…:smack:
I owe her one for opening my eyes… Rob and I’ve been married for over 4 years now.
Tally
I was once invited by someone I only knew slightly to a party she was throwing. I thought it was unusual, but went along anyway. During the course of the evening, a friend of the host who I had only met once before was quite attentive to me. I thought she was just being friendly. Nothing happened, I went home and scarcely ever saw her again.
Something like 10 years later it struck me, again in the middle of the night when these things spring to mind, that it had all been a set up. And never at any time had it occurred to me. :smack:
You guys are so cute. I swear I’ve dated at least two or three of ya. I always seem to pick the guys who don’t “get it” until I pretty much draw them a picture. hee hee. Fortunately, I don’t mind the type of guy who isn’t so full of himself as to think every girl wants him. Clueless guys are frustrating, but often worth it.
This thread hurts!
I recently saw “one of those girls” at my high school reunion. It turns out I made the right decision all those years ago! What a nut-job!
But then again, thinking about the one that got away has turned my beard white.
Women are like fish. There is an ocean full of 'em. And the smell.
I would like to join your organization, please.
I have never once known when a female was interested in me short of a sharp blow to the head. Actually, I never even thought that any woman was interested in me at all.
Wait. No, that’s not completely true. There was one woman at a They Might Be Giants concert who I thought was into me. But it turns out…
I can’t say. It’s too embarrassing. Let’s just say that it’s a word that almost rhymes with “thespian”.
Wow, what an amazingly cathartic thread. I no longer feel I must be the stupidest man on Earth. Top ten, maybe, but a couple of you guys have got me completely aced.
Which is somehow even funnier based on the thread title.
Oh by the way Miller:
Is probably not true- I am sure even you would have spotted it then. 
Here’s my tale of missed opportunity:
When I was 24 I was a manager at Burger King. One of the girls I worked with on the closing shift got a ride home with me every night she worked with me. Since I didn’t think she should be out at night alone walking home (a good two miles or so) I often gave her the rides. One night, after dropping her off she invited me in. She had lived with her father, but he was out for the weekend (she was 18 and thus “legal”, by the way). We talked for a few minutes, and I’m sure we were both thinking of having sex with each other the whole time (I know I was, that’s for sure), but being that I was a manager and she was a subordinate co-worker we both must have felt it wouldn’t have been appropriate. Had we each been equal co-workers we may have taken things farther. When I thought back upon it that night after going home I kicked myself. I hadn’t had sex in the past four years at the time, and she would have been a damn fine piece of ass, but yet I let this one slip through my fingers.
Even though I may have missed out on a chance at getting some nookie that night, I think it was best that nothing happened. I know we would have both regretted it and it would have interfered with our work relationship. There were already rumors about us doing things with each other outside of work since I had given her rides home on the nights I closed with her, so if we did do anything and word got out I probably would have had to quit (which actually would have been a good thing snice I hated that job).