I can’t figure this one out so maybe someone with more knowledge about the human body can enlighten me.
If I were to drink enough alcohol, could there be enough alcohol in my urine to ignite it? I assume most of the alcohol will be filtered out in the kidneys which would transfer it to the bladder then out, but is this correct?
If your piss were alcoholic enough to be lit aflame, it would also be alcoholic enough to get you drunk. So why waste it by lighting it, when you could put it to good use by drinking it?
Or giving it to someone sober so he, too, could enjoy the fun of being drunk?
Not a doc, but I do know that alcohol content of a water based solution has to be above about 50% to be ignitable.
If the content of your urine is 50%, you’d be dead. (I suspect you’d be dead long before it reached this concentration, as much lower blood alcohol levels are fatal, and the booze has to be in your blood before your kidneys could excrete it, even if they could.))
Alcohol in the urine is typically 30-35% greater than in the blood. Having 0.5% in the blood means you’re dead, so it’s pretty safe to say you won’t get more than 1% in your urine. Ain’t gonna light.
A very, very long time before your kidneys gave out from trying to filter out the alcohol, your liver would have died, trying to metabolize it. Alcohol is a toxin, one the body knows how to fight, because some body processes produce very small amounts of it.
And that’s why the most common cause of death by alcohol addicts is liver failure, of one kind or another.
You might be able to achieve something with a turkey baster filled with vodka, but if you do, a flaming penis is likely to be the least of your troubles. Concentrated ethanol is hard on biological tissue.
But you can probably distill it into something you can light.
I think I saw something in Skymall for this.
Impress your friend and set your distilled urine on Fire!!! Only $399.95
I gotta get me one a them things. Be great for lighting a wet campfire in the morning.
Good news! water burns in an atmosphere of fluorine, so you could walk into a room full of fluorine and light your wee; I expect the rest of your body, being made of mostly water, would also catch fire, not to mention the difficulty in breathing, but hey! you can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs.
If you habitually drink heavily, you can develop enough tolerance to run higher blood alchol concentrations. The highest BAC I’ve personally seen was .786%. In someone with no tolerance effect, .400% is fatal. For comparison, .080% iwill get you a DUI here in Pennsylvania.
Not only penis ensues, but flaming penis ensues! Now, that’s a band name. 
make sure you run it through a Brita water filter first.
What’s wrong with the tried and trusted method of lighting your farts?! :rolleyes:
Nobody ever got embarrassing burns from that (well, hardly anybody…)