If I ever become a curmudgeon, stab me in the eye

You know the curmeudgeon, usually an old man (but sometimes a woman), who’s “been around the block a few times” and could “show you yung’uns a thing or two”. They don’t follow the rules like everybody else and everyone’s afraid to bring it up. They’re “too valuable” to be fired and you have to “put up” with them because they managed to not die early.

A couple of famous examples: Andy Rooney and Roy on American Hot Rod (which inspired this mess).

I know you’ve all heard that you must “respect your elders”, but sometimes those elders use that to walk all over everybody just because they can.

I have nothing against old people, mind you, but just because you’re old, that doesn’t mean I have to respect you for it.

With me, at least, respect has to be earned, regardless of age.

The first decent (albeit low-paying) job I had was working at an old-fashioned grocery store. The boss was a man in his early 60’s. He was quiet, fairly well-spoken and respectful of everyone’s feelings. A grandfatherly type. I had a lot of respect for him even when he had to chew my ass out.

Jump forward to the early 90’s when I worked at a pawn shop. One of my cow-orkers was an older lady (also early 60’s) who was the polar opposite. She was a money-grubbing old bat who cared for no one or no thing except herself. She’d stab you in the back and smile at you while she was doing it.

Some of you may remember my tales of the old racist guy I worked for at the paper company.

I’ve had more bad experiences than good in this respect and I swore to myself that I would never end up like this.

So I beg of you, fellow Dopers, if you ever see me acting curmudgeonly (that can’t be a word!), please, put me out of your misery.

I’ve learned that part of the art of aging is the wisdom to know exactly how much curmudeonry I can get away with. It’s a fine balance. Actually, I started being a curmudgeon in my 20s, so I’ve gotten quite good at it over the years. And once my reputation precedes me, people really appreciate me when I’m being nice.

I hope to start out as a gadfly and graduate to curmudgeon later on. I hope to have panache45’s restraint, but who knows?

No, no–it’s not “respect your elders–it’s treat your elders with respect”.

I trust you see the subtle difference there.

If not, why in my day…we understand understated humor and guidance, by gum!
:smiley:

Hmm, I’m 22, and becoming a crusty old curmudgeon is the one thing I look forward to as I get older! :smiley:

Me, too. I vow to throw my empty beer bottles at the neighborhoo kids who ride their bikes thru my yard.

What?