If I wasn't such a bad, bad, bad angelic beck I would do bad things. These are my 5 bucket list bad bad bad things:

  1. I’d be the town slut. My friend who’s slutty has loads of fun. Happiest person I know.
  2. I wouldn’t donate to PBS, even though I watch it all the time.
  3. I wouldn’t eat vegetables, ever.
  4. I’d be mean to my grandkids.
  5. I’d tell lies to the lil’wrekker. She’s gullible.

What would you do if you were to become bad?

Pretty sure someone has hacked Granny Hawkins account. Maybe a mod should look into this.

I have a safe word. It’s me.

“It’s Me” should get to bed and sleep whatever it’s on off.

Possums and dogs and rolly-polly grandkids are depending on you tomorrow.

Beck, I don’t think that you would ever be mean to your grandkids. That just not you, even in the worst of times.

Got anything else to take the place of number 4 on your list?

So is her … oh, fuck. Nevermind the Bollocks!

Yeah. I cannot be mean to kids and small animals.

Ok. So I’ll say: 4. Never return a library book.

“Ain’t but three things in this world that’s worth a solitary dime
But old dogs and children and watermelon wine.”

– Tom T. Hall

I’ve been bad. My current iteration is good and I actually prefer it.

“Of course, I know what vegetables are! Vegetables are what food eats!”—A.L.F.

If I were bad, bad, bad, I’d be at least 10 minutes late to every meeting and every gathering with friends or family. And, I’d be completely unapologetic about it.

Just think, if you had been getting those 10 minutes for every meeting your whole career you’d have a couple years added up, for fun and games.

Nice!

Alas, I’m the kind of person who breaks out in hives if I’m late for something, and I started wearing a watch at age 7 because I always want to know exactly what time it is. It appears that I’m pathologically prompt.

If I were bad, I’d be the world’s biggest false-flagger. I’d go around doing bad things in the name of Antifa, the CCP, various extremists, etc.

I gave up time long ago. Haven’t had a watch in 40 years. I do, however, need to know the temperature. I think I have seven readouts around the house and garage (one for each bay).

Maybe this. Some guy lied about getting it on with me so several people thought I was the town slut. But I wasn’t, and I sure was confused about my reputation with them. But that’s not to say I wasn’t curious about it. All in all, I don’t think I would have been happy with it, but one wonders…

I’m a born-again Christian. I’ve known the Lord, as we put it, for over 50 years. I’ve never been an evangelical, but let’s just say that I’ve spent a fair amount of time over the years in fairly close contact with evangelicals.

I have pretty much the same low opinion of evangelicals as most people on this board do, only more detailed than most due to greater familiarity. I’m also quite aware of how easy it is to scam them, once they think you’re One Of Them.

I’ve often thought that if I had a more larcenous heart, that’s exactly what I’d spend my time doing. So that’s what I’d do if I had a bit more of a bad streak.

I’d throw recyclables in the trash can. It probably all ends up in the same place, anyway.

Along the same lines, I’d litter. Just throw everything out of the car window or drop it on the ground.

I’d run my boat at full speed through all the no wake zones and bridges.

Come to think of it, I don’t know why I’m not already doing these things. It seems everyone else does and with little or no consequences.

I once had a doofus in a brand new, high-end boat drift up to my pontoon boat and ask me why people were giving him the finger. I’d seen him blasting through a NO WAKE zone and figured that was why.

Turns out he’d seen the NO WAKE buoys, but had no idea what they meant. That made me so angry that instead of educating him, I told him if he didn’t know even the basics he had no business being on the water.

I think Son-of-a-wrek missed his calling. He shoulda been a bum. One with a sign in the Walmart parking lot begging for cash.

He’s a great moocher.