Awesome! Can someone do a Dr. Phil?
Count Rugen, I’m Dr. Phil Montoya. You’ve been in charge of Florin for a while now. How’s that working out for ya?
<answer>
Yeah, well, y’know, I learned just the other day that you killed my father. And let me tell you, Count, today is gonna be a changin’ day in your life.
Okay…thinking about talk shows, who wants to take a crack at Jerry Springer?
I’ve never been to Australia either (though one of my favorite webcomics is done by an Australian), but even I could see where Wargamer made his mistake. What he should have written was:
“My name is Bruce Montoya …”
My name is Earl. Montoya. You killed my father, but number 28 on the list is that I ran over your cat, and besides which we got cancelled anyway, so I guess you just got lucky, Little Chubby.
Jokey, Hefty – He’s got six fingers.
Hey! You smurfed Papa Smurf. Now we’re gonna smurf you!
“You kill Montoya’s father! Montoya get angry! Montoya smash little man with too many fingers!”
eta: This was all caps to mimic authentic comic book style Hulk speak. But the authorities here have apparently decided we can’t be trusted with the unchecked power of capitalization.
Adding some non-capped words corrects it. As in :
“YOU KILL MONTOYA’S FATHER ! MONTOYA GET ANGRY ! MONTOYA SMASH LITTLE MAN WITH TOO MANY FINGERS !”
With the “comic sans” font for extra verisimilitude ! Now if there was only a “speech bubble” function . . .
Oh my goodness! Well I’m Gertrude Montoya, soo pleased ta meetcha. I hear apparrrently some folks are sayin ya might be tha fellow who killed my papa all those years ago up here. I don’t wanna be a bother, butchyannow, ya might wanna prrepare ta meetcher maker right about now. Have some hotdish whileya think about it, I’m not goin anywhere, an have ya tried th’ambrosia? It’s got those little bitty marshmallows in tha pretty pastel colors, yannow.
And here I was thinking it was supposed to be Elmo. 
Which brings to mind:
Hello. I am Count von Montoya, and I looove to count! Let’s see. Vun finger. Two, two fingers. Three fingers. Four fingers. Five. Five fingers! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ahh!
What’s this? Six? Six fingers! Then you are the man who killed my father. Since this is a children’s show I cannot kill you, so prepare to be chained to a chair and forced to listen to Fozzy practice his standup routine for all eternity!
:maniacal laughter:
My name. Is. Inigo Tiberius Montoya. You. Killed my father. Prepare. To die.
I’m Donald Trump Montoya. I know one of you here killed my father. We’re going to find out who by eliminating one of you at a time here in the magnificent Trump Mahal. On the first project, we’re gonna take this, new Trumpogen, which is like oxygen but better and more oxygeny, and sell it to tourists at the new Trump Tours of NYC and the Trump Steamer line. Today some new recruits from Trumpwater Mercenary Training Camp are flying into town on the Trumpchoppers to help you ‘convince’ people to buy my Trumpogen. The guy who killed my father was a terrible salesman, so the one of you who sells the least probably killed my father and can prepare to die. He’ll be buried alive in Trump Necropolis, the cemetery that used to be the grounds of Princeton University, a place you’ll just die to get into… heh heh… that’s a little joke my daughter came up with.
Rugaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!
Inigo: “I’m a friend of Count Rugen. I was told he was here. Could I see him please?”
Castle Guard: “No, you can’t see him - he’s making a statement.”
Inigo: “Where is he?”
Castle Guard: It may take a while. Want to wait? There’s a patch of grass over there." [points to patch of grass ]
Inigo: [looks around then looks back at him] I’ll be back!
BRUCE Montoya! [/dopesmacks myself.]
I’ll be in the Agonizer paying for my sins now.
What up 6-Digit? I be Leroy Montoya. You busted a cap in my daddy’s ass. Break yourself, fool!
Inigo Montoya is my name,
Revenge for dad is now my game.
I’m going to kill you with a knife;
I’m going to kill you-end your life.
I’m going to kill you in this castle;
I’m going to kill you-it’s no hassle.
I’m going to kill you six-fingered man;
I’m going to kill you Count Rugen.
Sorry, but easy to miss, obviously. 
There once was a man named Inigo
Who’s daddy was killed by six-finger-o.
Inigo is me
The killer you be:
Now you must Prepare to die-o!
LOL…good one…
*** Some is NSFW ***
**Randy: **Check it out dog! Check it out! For me, the whole revenge thing was dope! You were a little bitchy at first, but you worked it out!
**Kara: **Wonderful! Wonderful! You have proven that you deserve to avenge your father’s death. Yes!
**Paula: **Inigo, you are a beautiful man, with a passionate spirit. I could almost feel the pain of losing your father to the six-fingered man. Pursue your dreams, and your heart will heal.
Simon: I have absolutely no idea what Paula is talking about it. Inigo, the whole you-killed-my-father-now-I-must-avenge-you thing is so overdone. I felt like I was watching an over-baked ham. If I were you, I wouldn’t COUNT on being in the sequel.
My name is Inigo McClane. Yippee ki-yay Six-Fingered MtherFckr!
My name ees Ingio Montoya. joo keel my fadder. Now I godda keel joo. Prepare to die seeks finger maricon!
Rugen: You are weak.
**Inigo: **I’M weak? I’M weak? You’re weak. I’ve been following you for fifteen years.
Rugen: What’s your name?
**Inigo: **FUCK YOU, that’s my name!! You know why, Count? 'Cause you got six fingers on one hand! I’m the best swordsman in the world, left or right handed. That’s my name!!
**Rugen: **You’re such a braggart. Why are you coming down here and wasting your time with me?
**Inigo: **You see this sword? You see this sword?
**Rugen: **Yes.
**Inigo: **This sword cost more than your castle. And you killed my father. Inigo Montoya, that’s who I am. And you’re nothing. prepare to die.