Who is Jethro Bodine?
Jethro Bodine was Jed Clampett’s nephew in the tv sitcom The Beverly Hillbillies. Sometimes they’d show him sitting at the breakfast table and he’d be eating out of this HUGE cereal bowl. My dad used to crack up everytime he saw that.
The bowl looked more like a large mixing bowl.
This sitcom was probably before your time, as it was in the 1960’s.
Alright, now I can’t resist.
- SITUATION
a. Enemy Forces:
(1) Nazgul. Intelligence reports there to be nine in the AO.
(2) Elements of the 3rd, 5th, and 77th OLI (Orcish Light Infantry) Brigades.
b. Friendly Forces:
(1) Elves of Lothlorien.
(2) Rear elements at Rivendell.
c. Attachment and Detachments:
Attached: Bill the Horse.
- MISSION
Task Force Gandalf moves by foot commencing 160700 Apr to proceed south to Mount Doom (FM9903) and achieve destruction of enemy property: One (1) Ring of Power.
- EXECUTION
a. Concept of Operation: TF Gandalf moves by foot, crossing SP at 160700 Apr and, avoiding enemy contact, escorts Ringbearer to objective.
(1) Fire support. None.
(2) Counterair. Organic.
- SERVICE SUPPORT
a. Materiel and Services:
Supply: C1 I. Individuals carry enough rations and supplies for two (1) week. Additional supplies to be carried by attached elements. Resupply available at LOGBASE Lothlorien.
b. Medical: Medical support will be supplied enroute by organic elements (see Annex A, Healing Abilities of Kings of Gondor).
- COMMAND AND SIGNAL
a. Command: Order of Succession of Command is: COL Gandalf, MAJ Aragorn, CPT Boromir, 1LT Legolas, 2LT Gimli.
b. Signal:
(1) Signal Fires.
(2) Yelling Really Loudly.
jeeze you guys are the real deal eih?
but fingolfin, come on man, how could you be anything up proud of the…epidemic you’re responsible for! *round of applause…
in all my years ( seventeen) never seen such a long lived forum.
Scene from the Hobbiton Gay Pride March:
“We’re here! We’re queer! And we’re Proudfoots!”
“That’s Proudfeet!”
“Sorry!”
It’s true that Leave It To Beaver was a wholesome family show. Back in the 1950’s and 1960’s they would never address the topic of sex, hetero or homo. Such topics were taboo.
I notice that you don’t mention the parts where Aragorn gets Miss Arwen alone in her classroom, chats her up and kisses her. Or the part where Miss Arwen enjoys her erotic dream where Aragorn makes love to her on top of her desk in the classroom. We all know that in Leave It To Beaver, Wally would never do that to Beaver’s teacher, nor would Beaver’s teacher dream of Wally shagging her in her classroom. Did you not find those parts of the parody to be disturbing? Or did you find those acceptable because they are not of a slash nature?
Anyway, it’s a parody. Jeanster touches lightly on things in Leave It To Beaver, but won’t follow them to the letter. That’s the nature of parodies.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Leave It To Beaver and/or The Lord of the Rings.
SCENE: Later that evening after dinner. Frodo is lying on his bed while he reads a comic book. Aragorn is polishing his sword. There is a knock on their door.
ARAGORN Come in.
The door opens. It is Bilbo.
BILBO Aragorn, your friend Boromir is downstairs. Were you expecting him tonight?
ARAGORN No. In fact, I was planning to go out tonight. I wonder what he wants?
BILBO He seems anxious to speak with you about something.
ARAGORN I’ll go down and see him.
Suddenly Boromir pokes his head through the doorway, much to Bilbo’s annoyance.
BILBO I thought I told you to wait downstairs.
BOROMIR My apologies, Mr. Baggins. I really need to speak with my good buddy Aragorn about something.
BILBO Well, don’t stay long. You two boys have school tomorrow.
Bilbo leaves and heads downstairs.
BOROMIR (sees Frodo) Beat it, squirt!
FRODO Hey, this is MY bedroom, too! You can’t kick me out!
BOROMIR Wanna bet?
ARAGORN Boromir, lay off of Frodo. What is it you wanted to tell me?
BOROMIR I don’t want to tell you in front of the squirt. Can’t you tell him to take a hike?
FRODO I’m still here! Don’t talk about me like I’m not in the room!
ARAGORN Frodo, would you please excuse us while I have a private word with Boromir? I’m sorry to interrupt your reading. I promise it won’t be long.
FRODO (glares at Boromir) Well, Aragorn, since you asked me so nicely, okay.
He takes his comic book and leaves the bedroom, closing the door behind him.
ARAGORN Okay, Boromir. What is it?
BOROMIR I have a really bad feeling about Lurtz. I think he’s really out to get me.
ARAGORN Did he threaten you after you bumped into him in the library earlier today?
BOROMIR Not in so many words. He growled at me, but then Miss Buckram appeared, so he made like he was being the perfect well-behaved library patron and sat down to read.
ARAGORN Lucky for you. Well, you know you can count on me to help. I’ll watch your back when we meet his team for the play-offs. And I’m sure you can also count on Gimli and Legolas for assistance.
BOROMIR Thanks, buddy. You’re the greatest.
There is another knock on the door.
ARAGORN Come in.
The door opens. This time it is Gandalf.
GANDALF Aragorn, Principal Elrond just called. He needs you to meet him right away at the school. It’s an emergency. His daughter Miss Arwen is over there working late. She’s barricaded herself in his office and phoned her father because Orcs are there and are trying to attack her.
ARAGORN Orcs?!
GANDALF Miss Arwen overheard some noise coming from the gymnasium, so she went to see what it was. Orcs were vandalizing the place. They saw her, so she turned and ran.
ARAGORN Let’s go!
BOROMIR Right behind you, buddy.
Aragorn grabs his sword and they rush downstairs.
FRODO Hey, where are you all going?
GANDALF You stay here, Frodo. It’s too dangerous.
FRODO Uncle Bilbo told me what happened! I’m going, too! I’m not going to let anything happen to Miss Arwen! See?
Frodo shows them Sting.
ARAGORN Nothing we can say will stop you from following us, so we may as well let you come along. Hurry!
They all rush outside and jump into the car. It peels away toward the school.
GANDALF Principal Elrond has already called Gimli and Legolas. They are on their way to the school, too.
TO BE CONTINUED
I understand the nature of a parody. While it’s true that you don’t follow everything to the letter, **you also don’t change the fundamental nature of the characters’ relationships. **
In point of fact, I do find the idea of a boy of Wally’s age actually kissing/being kissed/being fantasized about sexually, etc., by a teacher/person of authority, etc., also disturbing.
However, the Aragorn/Arwen and Aragorn/Eowyn relationships are in keeping with the tone of the original LOTR relationships, so in the overall scheme of things, I don’t find it out of place in the parody as set up - as opposed to the Aragorn/Legolas relationship, which completely twists the nature of the LOTR original Aragorn/Legolas relationship and the LITB Wally/annoying bestfriend-whose-name-I-can’t-remember relationship. Neither LOTR nor LITB so much as intimates any homoerotic content to either of those sets of relationships, and I don’t see that the homoerotic content that jeanster added really contributes anything to the parody, either. Again, simply my opinion, you’re under no obligation to agree.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I have nothing against slash fiction in general, nor do I have anything against homosexual persons. This isn’t a diatribe against homosexuality. It’s my complaint about deliberately taking (a) a wholesome 50s show (b) a fairly wholesome work of fiction and (c) a parody set-up that could work without being twisted in a disturbing fashion - and twisting it in a disturbing fashion for no real purpose. And, my original explanation also noted my objection to the feminist ranting about June Cleaver, too - and I consider myself a feminist. Was it silly to have June Cleaver cleaning house all dressed up and wearing nice jewelry? Sure. Was the show on in the 1950s when everything on TV was supposed to be “nice” and only show the “ideal”? Duh. The movie ‘The Stepford Wives’ already dealt with this issue, can’t we put it to bed? grin
My original question was just that, a question. Then someone questioned why I questioned, so I explained. Now I have explained further. Now I will stop, because now it’s starting to look like a personal attack on jeanster, which my original question was never intended to be. I like a lot of your work, too, jeanster, including parts of the LITB parodies. Thanks for your comments on my bits-of-this-thread, I’m glad someone else finds them as amusing to read as I found them amusing to write.
a.
I’ve actually read Rand (even considered myself an Objectivist at one point) and the post you quoted seemed a fairly straightforward pastiche of Rand’s take on collectivism vs. individualism. Nothing in it said or implied tha Objectivism is synonimous with Communism or Socialism. Where’s the beef?
I’ve actually read Rand (even considered myself an Objectivist at one point) and the post you quoted seemed a fairly straightforward pastiche of Rand’s take on collectivism vs. individualism. Nothing in it said or implied tha Objectivism is synonimous with Communism or Socialism. Where’s the beaf?
Both are parodies and fall under fair use; neither is a copyright violation. If anyone’s still wondering.
Hey! Less talk, more parodies please!
As you wish, JR8! I’ve read the whole thread (notworthy). Love it.
A Ring Named Desire.
Frodo DuBois:
It was a ring, just a ring, when I was a very young hobbit. When I was fifty, I made the discovery – love. All at once and much, much too completely. It was like you suddenly turned a blinding light on something that had always been half in shadow, that’s how it struck the world for me. But I was unlucky. Deluded. There was something different about the ring, an inscription, a heaviness and an evilness which wasn’t like any other jewellery, although it wasn’t the least bit dangerous-looking – still – that thing was there… it came to me for help. I didn’t know that. I didn’t find out anything till after our encounter when we’d run away and not come back and all I knew was I’d failed it in some mysterious way and wasn’t able to give the help it needed but couldn’t speak of! It was in the quicksands and clutching at me – but I wasn’t holding it out, I was slipping in with it! I didn’t know that. I didn’t know anything except I loved it unendurably but without being able to help it or help myself. Then I found out. In the worst of all possible ways. By coming suddenly into a place that I thought was empty – which wasn’t empty but had another creature in it…
Gollum: My precioussss!
Frodo: Arrrgh!
I believe Cassandra Claire might beg to differ. Her parody is a hit among many readers. Slash galore!
http://www.ealasaid.com/misc/vsd/
By the way, Amy, I too have enjoyed the parodies you’ve written here. You, Nithy and Jeanster are among my favorite contributors to this thread.
Sauron-Man, by They Might Be Hobbits
Sauron-Man, Sauron-Man
Wants to rule all of Middle-Earth-Land
He makes a ring for his evil plan
Sauron-Man
Is he a man, or is he an eye?
When he swings his club all the armies die.
Do you think he’s a happy guy?
Nobody knows
Sauron-Man.
Isildur-Man, Isildur-Man
Cut the ring from Sauron’s hand
They have a fight, Isildur wins,
Isildur-Man.
Frodo-Man, Frodo-Man
Taking the ring back to Mordor-Land
Hiding out from Saru-Man
Frodo-Man
He’s got a friend with a frying pan
A gaffer-man
And Galadriel’s Sand.
Who came up with Samwise-Man?
Has to be
Tolkien-Man
Aragorn-Man, Aragorn-Man
Gonna be king of Gondor-Land
But only if he gets rid of Sauron-Man
Aragorn Man
Friends with a Dwarf
And also an Elf
Picked up the broken sword off the shelf
Doesn’t always believe in himself
Ranger-Man,
Aragorn-Man
Sauron-Man, Sauron-Man
Sauron-Man hates Aragorn-Man
They have a fight
Aragorn wins
Aragorn-Man.
Can someone please do Brett Easton Ellis.
Gondorian Psycho?
Nithy: at first I was dubious about the idea of Sauron-Man, but by the second verse you’d won me over. Kudos!
Why, thank you.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Leave It To Beaver and/or The Lord of the Rings.
SCENE: The school of Mayfield, Middle Earth. Aragorn, Boromir, Frodo and Gandalf arrive. They find the front doors unlocked because Principal Elrond, Gimli and Legolas had arrived before them.
The doors to the gymnasium are open. It is strewn with toilet paper. The walls are covered in painted words: ‘ORCS OF MORIA RULE!’ and ‘RANGERS ARE MAMA’S
BOYS!’
Principal Elrond, Gimli, Legolas are with Miss Arwen in the office. The door to the office is broken off the hinges and is on the floor. There are no Orcs in sight.
ARAGORN Miss Arwen, are you all right?
MISS ARWEN Yes, thank you. Fortunately, Daddy keeps a spare sword here in his office. (shows everyone the sword she holds)
PRINCIPAL ELROND Yes, that and thanks also to the trap door I had installed recently here in my office.
He points to the opening in front of his desk.
PRINCIPAL ELROND Careful not to fall. This trap door comes in handy for when I have meetings with parents of problem students. Sometimes those parents have tunnel vision and only want to listen to their child’s side of the story.
ARAGORN To where does the trap door lead?
PRINCIPAL ELROND That, my dear Ranger, is on a need to know basis. At the moment you don’t really need to know.
ARAGORN So those Orcs all fell into that hole?
MISS ARWEN Yes, thank goodness.
Frodo goes over to Miss Arwen and takes her hand.
FRODO I’m so relieved to see that you’re all right, Miss Arwen!
MISS ARWEN Thank you, Frodo. I’m touched that you all came to help.
PRINCIPAL ELROND Well, it’s going to take a lot of work to clean the gymnasium. It’s late. Let’s deal with it in the morning. Come, daughter. Let’s go home.
MISS ARWEN Yes, Daddy. Good night, everybody.
They leave the school. Aragorn decides to postpone revealing his true feelings to the love of his life, as it would be awkward to try to take his beloved aside privately with everyone around.
SCENE: The next morning in school. Boromir and Aragorn are surveying the damage done to the gym.
BOROMIR Aragorn, we’re not going to let those Orcs get away with trashing our gym, are we?
ARAGORN What do you propose we do?
BOROMIR Trash their gym?
ARAGORN No. Let’s be more creative.
BOROMIR Like what?
ARAGORN How about we steal their mascot? It’d be right before the big game.
BOROMIR I like it!
SCENE: Later that night Aragorn, Boromir, Gimli, Legolas, Frodo, Sam,
Merry and Pippin are sneaking into the Moria School. It used to be a school for Dwarfs until it was taken over by Orcs.
FRODO What is their school mascot, Aragorn?
ARAGORN I don’t know. Perhaps they have a donkey.
LEGOLAS It must be behind that door over there.
The Elf points to a very large door labeled with a sign that reads SCHOOL MASCOT.
BOROMIR Oh, ya think?
The Son of Gondor slowly opens the door and peeks into the room. Then he quickly slams the door shut.
BOROMIR They have a Cave Troll!
They quickly back away from the door. It is pushed open and the Cave Troll carrying a sledge hammer emerges. The creature is huge and very scary looking.
FRODO That’s the mascot we’re going to steal??!!
The Cave Troll starts swinging the sledge hammer.
ARAGORN Frodo! Run! All you Hobbits get out of here!
The battle ensues.
They defeat the Cave Troll. It lies dead on the floor in the lobby of the school.
ARAGORN So much for stealing their mascot. Killing it may have been taking it a step too far.
BOROMIR Hey, it was either that or end up as a Cave Troll’s toe jam! Speaking for myself, I haven’t grown tired yet of breathing and walking upright. Hey, Legsy, what are you doing?
LEGOLAS I am retrieving my arrows from the corpse. These are still perfectly good arrows.
ARAGORN Let’s get out of here.
They flee, leaving the dead Cave Troll on the floor.
TO BE CONTINUED