If Shakespeare wrote C++

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

if(I->compare(thee,summer->day)) {

assert( (getLovelyValue(thee)>getLovelyValue(summer->day)) && (getTemperateValue(thee)>getTemperateValue(summer->day)) );
roughWinds.shake(May->darlingBuds);
summer->lease->date.tooShort = true;

if(sometime) { Heaven->eye.shine(tooHot); }
if(often) { Heaven->eye.goldComplexion = dimmed; }

if( (sometime) && ( chance || !trimmed(Nature->changingCourse) ) )
Fair->fair.decline();
}

assert( (thee->EternalSummer.shallFade()==false) && (losePosession(thee->Fair)==NULL) );

if( EternalLines->time(thee->growst()) ) {
assert( !Death->brag(thee,Death->shade->wandrest(thee))) );
}

if( Men->canBreath() && Eyes->canSee() ) {
this->lives=true;
this->givesLife(thee);
}

}

(I know, I know, the formatting sucks. Actually, the entire thing kinda sucks. I’d appreciate any suggestions for improvement.)

2 

if ( mind.nobler ) {
	outrageous_fortune.slings = new Slings();
	outrageous_fortune.arrows = new Arrows();
	this.suffer ( outrageous_fortune.slings, outrageous_fortune.arrows );
}
3

Very cool, Marcus. I like it.

So, who wants to help me do the entirety of “Hamlet”? :wink:

4

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve just witnessed the birth of a new Internet e-mail message.

Give it a weekannahalf before we’ll see it again, stripped of attribution, with a title like “Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:Re:LOOK@THIS:).”

Good work, BlackKnight

5

Thank you!

6

Hey! This can be fun. Except I’m seeing why I avoid c++.

Let’s try it in good ol’ linenumber BASIC:

10 PRINT “Thank you for playing 'To be or not to be?”
20 INPUT “What is your Nobility Factor (0 to 100)”; NOBLE%
30 IF NOBLE% > 50 THEN GOSUB 1000 ELSE GOSUB 2000
1000 PRINT “You will now suffer the slings and arrows of”
1010 PRINT “outrageous fortune. Please play again!”
1020 RETURN
2000 PRINT “Sleep, perchance to dream.”
2010 END

7

I just realized this should be a while loop, not an if statement.

It should look like this:


while( Men->canBreath() && Eyes->canSee() ) {
  this->lives=true;
  this->givesLife(thee);
}
8

Oh come on. I know there are more nerds on this board than just me, dropzone, and Marcus.

9

Oh, I appreciate it. Very much. In fact, I suggest that you go buy yourself a “code poet” shirt from http://www.thinkgeek.com

I like mine.

10

::goes to pick up a copy of HTML for Dumbasses::

11

Thanks for the idea!
Hmm, I wonder if I could get a t-shirt specially made with my code-poem on it. :slight_smile:

12

May I try Java? It’s nearly as arcane…

package eng.midd;

public class Sonnet {
Bard will = new Bard();
Mistress she = new Mistress(will);
Boolean foo;

public static void main(String args) {
foo = (she.eyes() != SUN);
foo = (CORAL.red > Color.red(she.lips()));
if (HAIRS == WIRES) {
she.growWires(Black);
}
}
}

That’s all I can remember without my Norton Anthology. You get the idea.

TLB

13 

Romeo() {
   2 * allTheHeavens[ fairestStars ]();
   while( havingSome.business ) {
     do {
        entreat(herEyes);
        theirSpheres[ twinkle ]();
     } until(theyReturn);
   }
}
14

Thank you Bill, TLB. Java is certainly welcome here! I like Java. I should have titled the thread “If Shakespeare wrote code” but, as usual, I wasn’t thinking.

Here’s a short but kind of cute C++ one:


double Double,toil,trouble;
Fire->burn();
Cauldrun->buble();
15

I almost said, “Hey! ‘Double’ is a reserved word! You can’t use it as a variable name!” until I noticed the capitalization.

Gawd, I hate case-sensitive languages.

16

Further support for one the great questions of our time, “Why can’t programmers spell?”

17

Oops. I thought that this thread was referring to what Shakespeare got on his first term paper.

18

2b<or><not>2b
show b

(Not a real language, but it would work)

19

Let x = 2b <or> (<not> 2b)
Print x

Hey guys, using boolean logic, and assuming b = 0 or 1, what are the possible solutions for x?

20

D’oh!

(There needs to be a wincing “D’oh!” smiley for when people screw up embarassingly.)