If someone were born incapable of feeling embarrassment, how would they turn out?

Really weird question that popped into my head recently. Assume that they’re just as capable of feeling every other emotion and of learning as “normal.” Also, I consider shame to be a different enough emotion to classify it as separate from embarrassment.

Are you sure you didn’t mean to post this in Politics & Elections?

No, because I already said the hypothetical person is capable of shame and all other emotions.

Embarrassment is a social ability, so I’d assume they’d be socially inept - constantly sharing personal information, farting in front of the Queen of England, and so on.

Yeah. Shame is/are the guardrails that keep us decent and civilized on the multi-lane highway of life. Embarrassment is/are the lane lines. Folks lacking in embarrassment might notice they’re jostling people in adjacent lanes but would not care. OTOH, they could manage to stay on the highway.

I’ll suggest that folks on the autism spectrum can end up with a similar outcome for a different reason. To be embarrassed you need to a) notice you’ve done something that makes people uncomfortable and b) feel bad about it. At least some autistics don’t notice and therefore don’t feel bad because they don’t perceive a reason to. Which amounts to the same outcome from the outside, albeit for a cause at a different level on their inside.

So we can use the actual behavior of folks like that as a proxy for how somebody with no embarrassment might behave.

Or, just check out any Karen video on YouTube. :slight_smile:

:laughing: That was also my thought.

Except that it’s possible to be embarrassed about something that no one else even notices.

OK. But that still requires recognition on the part of the person doing it.

My whole point was simply that there’s a two step process: recognize your behavior then feel bad / uncomfortable about it. Someone lacking either part of that two-step process would deliver the same externally available outcome: not behaving in an embarrassed manner.

Conversely …

We certainly know of people with over-active embarrassment features, who wander around mis-recognizing all sorts of their own behavior as problematic when it is not, then unwarrantedly feeling bad about that. Social anxiety is not the same thing exactly, but they’re related emotional processing errors.

It would seem to me that everyone has been in a situation where their behavior would cause feelings of embarrassment in others who have been socially programmed to do so, and they have not personally felt embarrassed. There are any myriad of social norms and etiquette across different cultures that would cause embarrassment to the locals, but a visitor would be blissfully unaware. So, internalizing that model would provide ample examples for your question?

Shame is tantamount to embarrassment. For the sake of the OP parameters, however, I’ll ignore that and simply say that the person in question would have a very strong feeling of, “I really do not care one iota what people think of me.” I think the core of embarrassment is the anxiety one suffers about their place in the eyes of others, especially other groups. The person in question would absolutely not give a damn.

I’ve wondered if people who try to settle small claims on Judge Judy or other similar shows for example are incapable of embarassment or if they’ve let their other emotions consistently override their embarassment. It’s hard for me to decide without being intimately related to them.

A person that experiences no shame or embarrassment could potentially be a monster. They wouldn’t care a bit for what other people think of them. People that don’t care what others think of them are called psychopaths and are capable of committing any atrocity imaginable.

Probably would be a high functioning sociopath.

I’m not sure that lacking a moral compass/conscience and having a complete disregard for others’ opinions of you are the same thing. Embarrassment requires knowing or believing that others are aware of one’s misdeeds, but it’s common for individuals to feel guilt/shame for doing wrong even when others are not aware of those misdeeds. There are plenty of examples of miscreants who got away with their misdeed, only to volunteer a confession later or try to make amends in life.

A lack of embarrassment removes one self-constraint on a person’s behavior, but it doesn’t remove all self-constraints.

Thinking further, a lack of embarrassment could result in some improvements in life. Patients would have zero reluctance to talk to their doctor about any medical issue at all. How many people are suffering right now because they don’t want to talk to their doctor about prostate exams, colonoscopies, incontinence, or pap smears?

Parents and their children could openly discuss sex/sexuality. No more squeamishness: here’s the mechanics of how it all works, here’s how birth control works, here’s a bunch of social issues to think about.

Instead of two or more separate gender-based (or non-gender) bathrooms, you could have one big bathroom that serves everybody, because nobody would be embarrassed about the fact that they are taking a leak/dump or dealing with their period.

No more separate locker rooms at athletic facilities, and no changing rooms at stores - just a dedicated patch of open floor space where you can change into new shirts/pants without being embarrassed by your public state of undress.

Hurting others or making them uncomfortable may cause embarrassment, or it may cause something else to kick in: you’ve transgressed against others or somehow damaged your relationship with them, and an apology is appropriate way to acknowledge the harm/damage and accept responsibility for it. I’m not sure that embarrassment is the same thing as valuing relationships with other people.

I agree with both of these comments or definitions on the lack of embarassment. My spouse feels embarassment over the most mundane things that our kids or I do. But in general I don’t really care what most people think about me. If my shoes don’t really go with my outfit, or if sneezing too loud might bring attention to myself. If I trip in front of someone. If I spill a large glass of wine on my shirt in a restaurant, and it is noticed by other patrons. My pants were to suddenly fall down.

Now can I feel embarrassment, I’m sure that I can, but most things that are accidental or outside of my control, I generally don’t get embarrased by.

“Of all our infirmities, the most savage is to despise our being.”

  • Michel de Montaigne, who philosophized about shame the same way Machiavelli did about power