If Someone With Medical Issues Says "Don't Cook for Me" Don't Cook For Them!

The BBQ Pit
1

While in real life I often bite my tongue/grit my teeth over this, I have got to let it out.

Awhile back I did my new downstairs neighbor a favor. I told her there was no need to repay me. She insists. She insists by trying to cook for me even though I have explained I have very, very serious food allergies and really, please, DO NOT do this.

The last time I trusted someone to cook for me who did not know me well I almost fucking died, getting a fast ambulance ride to the ER in anaphylactic shock. That was the infamous I Didn’t Use Tomatoes in the Stew I Used Ketchup Instead disaster.

Despite my continued pleas NOT to bring food to me the downstairs neighbor insists on doing this AND gets irate when I refuse the offer.

Too fucking bad. Either she takes it back, or it goes in the garbage. I have to protect my health.

I mean, I’m NOT asking that people cook a separate thing for me, I am NOT asking them to make their homes a “X, Y, Z” free zone, I am, in fact, trying NOT to inconvenience them by them NOT DOING something that puts me at risk. All they have to do is do nothing at all.

Look, people - if someone has a medical problem that puts them on a restricted diet and that person say PLEASE DO NOT COOK THINGS FOR ME the for the love of all that’s holy DO NOT COOK FOR THEM. It doesn’t have to be allergies - there are a number of conditions that put people under very strict dietary limits and it doesn’t matter whether you’ve heard of that condition before or not. You could make a person very ill. You could kill them.

It’s already stressful enough to live in a world where common foods are poison to you. Please do NOT add to this by refusing to take “no” for an answer. No means no, right? So respect that when it comes to dietary risks.

2

The tea video seems particularly appropriate in this instance.

Sorry 'bout your neighbor, Broomstick.

3

I know exactly what you mean. If it’s allowed on my diet or I don’t have a phobic thing about it you’re probably not serving it. I’m on a strict diet and have weirdness about a bunch of stuff. So, please don’t cook for me. I will accept it gracefully and walk it straight to the trash when you leave. I have a friend she just knows I want a bit of everything she makes. I don’t. I’ve finally over the years made her understand why I don’t come to her house to eat or go out to restuarant with her. She doesn’t like it but she accepts it, now.
I still have family who have known my condition my whole life and still try to kill me.

4

I don’t have food allergies, but my mother is allergic to the entire world. Tomatoes being a big one. Still amazes me how many times you tell a restaurant to make a dish without the tomatoes and out it comes, with tomatoes. Yeah, please don’t kill my mother just because you’re an idiot.

Same basic vein, there are a number of foods I just don’t plain like. Eggplant and Rhubarb being two of them. I’m also Soy sensitive and can’t eat very much of it before I get quite irritable. Don’t fucking get insulted because you invited me over and made Eggplant-Rhubarb Tofu and I tell you that I can’t and won’t eat it. No, I’m not going to try just a little bit of it. I’ve been to a handful of dinners that were made very uncomfortable by the constant pressure to eat things I had repeatedly told them I don’t like and won’t eat.

5

Pass it on to someone else or throw it out. The woman is compulsive, don’t waste your life worrying about it.

6

Back when I had a living spouse “pass it on” is what I did.

But, you know, when the biddy downstairs is banging on my door just after I’ve drifted off to sleep and trying to foist yet more food on me it pisses the hell out of me - it’s not a matter of me choosing to lose sleep over it, it’s someone actually waking me up!

(She also has issues with the fact that some days I have to leave for work at 4:30 am, necessitating I go to bed early. Somehow, this personally offends her or something.)

At least this week she and her boyfriend seem to be out of town mostly. Thank goodness.

As they say - no good deed goes unpunished.

And it’s all very well to say “don’t waste your life worrying about” but this comes up again and again and again. What the fuck is it with people who can’t take “no” for answer when they offer you something?

7

Yep. Tomatoes are one of my worst allergies. And they’re in every damn thing it seems like.

8

I have a friend who reacts violently to coconut, as in she vomits immediately. More than once, she’s had this reaction, and whoever made it or brought it said, “Oh, I didn’t think it would hurt you because it was made with coconut oil, and that’s healthy.” :smack:

9

Have you been medically diagnosed with these allergies?

10

What the hell is it to you? Who are you to ask this question? Why would she lie, for Og’s sake? Did you miss the part about ambulances and anaphylactic shock?

I’ve gone through that a couple of times in my life; fortunately, my allergies are a touch less severe than Broomstick’s, and much less broad – i.e. I’m only allergic to one category of foods that are relatively easy to avoid. Except when someone uses walnuts instead of pine nuts in their pesto because it’s cheaper. That was the second time I had to go to the ER.

So what the hell is your problem here?

11

There are a lot of people with no food allergies who don’t understand that you may have food allergies. Hey, I get it, but I eat absolutely anything that’s fit for consumption. I’m sure some people think they can change your mind, like trying to convert gay people or something.

12

What does this have to do with the neighbor violating a clear request? What if she was just told that the OP doesn’t like garlic and insists on making food containing garlic?

13

OP, i think I would find a firm ‘No’ and use it. It’s gonna hurt her feelings. You may have to hurt them to get her to stop. Put your hand up at the dish, don’t even receive it in your hand. Say, 'I’ve told you many times I’m allergic to these foods, please DO NOT bring me anymore food. I cannot have it in my house!" and shut the door. On your early nights put out a post-it note saying: ‘do not knock on this door after XX time or suffer my wrath!’

14

And yet you’ll eat any roadkill Mr Wrekker brings home. :smiley:

15

I’m sorry this was upsetting to Broomstick. I’ve sent you a nice package of home-made brownies with special icing to make up for it.*

This is marginally related, but I wish people who insist on holding a door for me when I’m a long distance away (for example, way down a flight of stairs) would stop doing this. I don’t feel like rushing to get there and having to thank Mr./Ms. Samaritan for the privilege.

*not really.

16

Ever think your neighbor does want to kill you? :smiley:

I’m not allergic to foods, but I went on a lot of work trips with someone who was deathly allergic to shellfish of all kinds, so I get it. He had to be very careful that the waters got it, and it wasn’t just a preference. He did have an experience like yours where someone didn’t believe him. With very bad consequences.
It was especially fun in Tokyo.

17

Nope the people in the ambulance were random people taken off the street. The whole anaphylaxis thing was simply a guess made by the neighbor’s dog walker.

18

I’m serious here: have you EVER made a useful contribution to this board? All I ever see from you is two-line drivebys, questions insinuating others are liars, and other blather bereft of content. On the plus side, you tend to keep it short.

Hey OP, just like there are people who are happy to do favors for others without expecting repayment, there are people who feel very guilty about others who do favors for them without providing a favor in return. You may want to consider a standard “this is how you can pay me back” thing to wave people off the way they impose with food that you can’t tolerate. For example, maybe something like this: “No, seriously, you don’t need to repay this favor. I enjoyed helping you out. No, really, it’s nice you want to make me dinner but I have bad allergies. No, really. I insist. Well, okay, if you really won’t let this go… I absolutely LOVE Twix bars, and if you got me one of the extra-large ones from the store, that would be the perfect gift.”

Yeah, it might not work 100% of the time, but if you really drive the point home that Twix bars (or Diet Coke, or green rubber bands, or whatever) is like THE BEST FUCKING THING IN THE WORLD to you, maybe they can be diverted to harmless things.

19

You really are a vacuous twat aren’t you?

20

I would never presume to offer my cooking to people with allergies. I don’t even cook for picky eaters any more, either.

Years ago we invited a pair of my wife’s co-workers, two gorgeous, fun young ladies, over for St. Paddy’s Day dinner. I told them I would make a steak and kidney pie. They refused to eat kidneys, or anything to which a kidney had come into contact.

Okay, a nice leg of lamb? Lamb? Ewwwwwww!

I can’t remember if I winded up preparing PB&Js, or if we just rescinded the invitation.