My boyfriend is the same height as me. Last time we weighed ourselves, I weighed 3 lbs. more than him. This creeps me out because in my head, the man should weigh more than the woman, but perhaps I just think this because typically the man is also taller than the woman. So I just wanted to conduct an informal poll: if you have ever dated someone of the opposite sex who was the same height as you, who weighed more, the woman or the man? (Although on second thought, I guess this question doesn’t need to be limited to people you’ve dated.)
It’s my understanding that women are less dense than men; they have proportionately thinner & less dense bones, more fat and less blood. Which makes it easier for them to float in water, and I’d think it would mean that on average a woman of the same size will still be lighter than a male. But that’s on average; and 3 lbs isn’t all that much.
Yep, and women tend to have less muscle mass, which is also dense. I’m about the same height as my husband, and I generally weigh about 20 pounds less than he does. But it can easily vary quite a bit. If I lose 5 pounds and he gains 5, we’ve got a 30 pound disparity. And if it goes the other way (I gain and he loses), we’re down to just a 10 pound difference.
If your boyfriend is on the skinny side, or if you’re more muscular than average, you could easily weigh more. I’ve dated skinny guys who were my height, and I weighed more than them (by 20+ pounds), and I’ve dated very athletic guys who were shorter than me, who still outweighed me by a good 30 pounds. Height is obviously a factor, but physique makes a big difference.
One of my friends from college had the same perception, that men “should” weigh more than women. He was a slight, short guy, and yet he was still a little taken aback when he found out that I was considerably heavier than him, as were most of our female friends.
Are you calling us men dense? 
Agree with your answer, given similar body types it’s because generally the man has more muscle mass and the woman has a slightly higher body fat percentage. Muscle is more dense than fat.
There’s really no right answer, since height has absolutely nothing to do with how much muscle or fat you have.
I suppose if we took a 100 men and a 100 women at random, the men would probably average a higher weight just due to generally higher muscle mass. But assuming you’re in the US and considering obesity levels here, you could grab 50 guys with beer guts that’d throw the calculations off.
So the answer is, stop worrying about it. Neither sex “should” weigh more.
According to every height/weight chart I could find in a quick Google search, if a man and woman are the same height the man should weigh about 10-20% more.
Same height has my hubby, he’s always weighed more than I. Even when we’d both slimmed down living on rice/ fish/ fruit, why traveling in SE Asia, he still, always weighs more than me.
It’s not because he’s taller, it’s because he’s thicker!
Wind,
Are you bothered by the fact that you’re the same height as your BF? If so, how much?
Presumably, a similar height doesn’t bother you to the point of creeping you out. Why does similar weight create more of a problem?
Or is it that weighing more than your BF stings at weight-related anxiety?
And you would be correct.
Again, you’re correct.
I’m 5’7" and my wife is 5’8". I’m heavier than her (but I’m not sure by how much.) We’re both a little fattier than we should be but both still in pretty good shape. I’m not exactly Charles Atlas but I do have more muscle mass than she does.
I know people can’t just stop being anxious about the things that bother us. But on the cosmic scale of relationship problems, a *3-pound *weight differential is pretty much at the very bottom of what should rationally concern anybody. Three pounds could be the weight of the lunch you just ate plus last night’s dinner that hasn’t yet been excreted. Or water weight. Or, it could just as easily be an issue with your bf’s lack of muscle mass. Regardless of the reason, you are not a big fatty fat fat just because you weigh more than the guy who you happen to dig. You should only be weighing yourself against your past self, it’s dumb to compare to others.
According to the Met Life Height/Weight table, men should weigh more than their as-tall female counterparts. Then again, that table was made in the 50s and so assumes that women are wearing heels when their height is measured.
It’s all about the general build of the people involved. Men should have heavier bones and more muscle than a woman of the same height, assuming they are right in the middle of the weight charts. But that’s just an average anyway. A man could have light bones and little muscle and weigh less than a woman with heavy bones and lots of muscle. One of them could also be carrying a lot of extra weight. At the same height, the difference shouldn’t be all that great. Since men average out taller than women, the general trend is for the man in the couple to be taller, and generally outweigh the woman.
But what difference does it make? We’ve all seen a small skinny guy who is paired up with a large woman. Their heights aren’t really much of a factor there. I know a woman who is considerably larger heavier than almost every man I know. She is about 6 feet tall, huge shoulders, wide hips, packed with muscles, and you can see she must have huge bones from her knees and elbows. She actually worked for a while as a counselor for male sexual abusers because she wouldn’t be imtimidated by them. She’ll admit she doesn’t have the choice of men that some women do, but last I checked she was in a stable relationship with a guy who wasn’t tiny, but not as big as her.
Let me add, then, that when I was pregnant, I gained 30 pounds - exactly as much as I was supposed to gain, according to my doctor. And even at my biggest, I never looked or felt fat, just pregnant. But the day when I finally weighed more than my husband, I did feel a small twinge of shame. Then, I decided I was being silly, and shouted, “Ha ha ha! I win! I’m ENORMOUS! Don’t feel like such a big man NOW, do you?”
But yeah, I get how it can strike a nerve. It might help, as MichaelEmouse suggests, to consider it as just another physical fact about the two of you, like height, without any value attached. You’re 3 pounds heavier than he is. You’re also bigger than a breadbox, and smaller than a couch. Mox nix.
I read somewhere that couples where the girl is heavier than the guy don’t tend to last. Society/Media puts a TON of pressure on people to be a certain way and when we don’t meet that standard it creates stress. Fewer things are more pronounced than weight and so when couples don’t meet this standard it puts a strain on the relationship.
That said, MichaelEMouse makes a great point. You’re different than your boo in many many ways. Why might you focus on one single aspect and call it important? Your differences are what make you interested in each other. As long as you’re both healthy, don’t worry about your relative weights.
I take it you mean they break up, and not that the woman loses weight and the man gains weight so that they’re no longer “that” couple?
If that were the case he wouldn’t have too many options available. Perhaps that’s why it bugs me more than him, then. He’s so small that he’s probably dated women bigger than him before, and has probably come to terms with the fact that lots of women are bigger than him. I’ve never dated a man smaller than me before.
Come to think of it, perhaps I should actually ask him about this, rather than talking about it behind his back to strangers on the Internet.
Wind,
Just how tall and heavy are you two?
An interesting take on the question. The conclusion is that males generally weigh more for the same height.
5’3", 135 lbs.
And in my defense (not sure I need to defend myself, but I feel strangely compelled to do so), I legitimately have more muscle than the average woman. Earlier this year, I tested myself on how many pushups and pullups I could do. I did 36 (with a time limit of 1 minute), and 10 pullups using a neutral grip.
I realize that I am not overweight enough to be considered unhealthy, but I didn’t start this thread because I feel unhealthy. I started it because being heavier than my boyfriend simply bothered me.