what would it be like? Where would it be? What would we all do?
And I’m talking everybody on the board–from the mighty Lynn and Tuba to the humblest newbie. Yes, even… the Perfect Master himself. :eek:
Well, it would have to be held in Chicago. I’m ok with that. I’d like to see more of the city than O’Hare. Lots of drink, lots of talk, and a steel-cage Deathmatch arena for the Final Showdown between The Forces of Goodness and Light and The Evil Liberals. 
It would be held in several specially chartered Boeing 747s, and travel around the world landing at all the various places that the dopers live (or the nearest city with a runway big enough to take a 747.) Parties will also be held on the ground at these stop over points. Dopers who do not like flying will be able to take part at these ground parties.
Each aircraft will be split into sections devoted to different topics of conversation. One will be for factual questions regarding the party, another will be for bitching about the running of the party, another will be for debating things like whether the aircraft were designed by an intelligent being or just gradually evolved into the complicated machines that they are, then there’ll be the section for sitting down, watching movies, playing cards, and discussing books. There will also be a section for those who have certain opinions about the party but who don’t wish to argue their point too strenuously.
The flight attendant roles will be filled by the mods who will walk around the aircraft and forceably eject anyone acting objectionably through the aft baggage door without a parachute.
On each aircraft there will be a general feeling that a certain select group of dopers are having a much better time than everyone else in a special First Class upstairs lounge. Each of these dopers will either deny vigorously any idea that such a clique exists, or make casual joking comments about what a great time they are having in the First Class Lounge.
The identity of the Captain of each aircraft will be uncertain. Some dopers will believe that they are flown by God, some will suggest that they may as well be saying that the aircraft is flown by an invisible pink unicorn meanwhile maintaining that it is flown by some sort of mechanical “autopilot”, others will hold that we cannot know who or what is flying the plane.
The First Officer of each aircraft will be a goat. And the Second Officer will generally be drunk.
Small windows in the engine nacelles will reveal several hundred hamsters running on treadmills.
On each aircraft, Cecil will be rumoured to be travelling on one of the other aircraft.
Actually, isn’t this a worldwide Dope-fest? Any kind where people who post here meet in person would have to be a localized Dope-fest. Right?
Well, if it’s held in Chicago, you come for the pie and stay for the debauchery.
Brilliant…
I’ll add that lots of the time, you’ll try to get on the airplane and talk to people, and it JUST WON’T WORK!
And the odds of Hitler and/or GW Bush appearing on one of airplanes will approach 1 as the party continues.