Can we PUH-LEASE have a real Dopefest near me?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

C’mon, can we?

Manny of you know me, some of you can’t stand me, but I know most of you love me. You know you do, just admit it. You’ll feel a lot better once you admit it.

Anyway, I hear about Dopefests in Houston, Dallas, Boston, Bay Area, and so on.
I want to go to one. I want to meet you guys in person. I want to hang out and eat, drink and be merry.

I want to meet Falcon, put my arms around her, and squeeze her.

I want to watch SeaDiver walk in.

I want to be sitting next to GaWd when she does, and share a look w/ him that says “She has ass for days, like *boom!*BAM!Gawddamn!”

I want to exchange insults with FreakFreely and Flypsyde over pint after pint of Guiness.

I want to shake Coldfire’s hand, and say “no, you da man.”

I want to sneak up on Kyla, and just for effect, pinch her booty.

I want to dance with Hamadryad.

I want to talk to Satan about the music industry and pick his brain.

I want to ask Unclebeer about the difference between a lager and a pilsner, and which he prefers.

I want everyone to compliment me on my Straight Dope T-Shirt.

I want to hang out with techchick again.

I want to high-five Mr.Cynical again, and make a bet with him that if he can drink me under the table, he can have my girlfriend for 5 minutes. (What she does to him, and the consequent ambulance ride, is up to her!)

I want to play quarters with Doobieous and ValerieBlaise.

I want to play trivial pursuit with Alphagene, just to see how much he knows.

I want to walk around downtown in some big city and sing bawdy songs with all my good friends.

But I can’t, because I live in the wrong state. :frowning:

I want to do so many other things, with so many other kick ass dopers, and I am green with envy of those of you who get to hang out with each other. GRRRRRR! :mad:

So please, since I can’t go… keep the following things in mind.

  1. If Kyla were to squeal at an oppurtune time, and it adds to the atmosphere, then know I am there in spirit.

  2. If Mr. C gets loaded and hits on a tall, curly-haired, large-breasted woman, then I am there in sp- well, actually, that’s probably normal.

  3. If Falcon shivers and smiles, then I am there in spirit.

  4. If SeaDiver walks in and turns some heads, then I am there in sp- well, actually, that’s probably normal, too.

Anyway, someone just raise a glass, preferably filled with some fine brew, to “All of those dear dopers who couldn’t be with us tonight.”

Thanks.

<envious pout> buttholes. </envious pout>

2

Hey man, you name the time, and the place, and buy me a plane ticket, and I’ll be there!

3

Ummmm Vegas is not so far away…

That said I know you can’t really do that. I 'spose you and I could work together to get a Denver DopeFest that includes anyone and everyone on the Straight Dope. Mr. Cynical may be too busy with baby Cynical to be able to work on the plans, EXCEPT for the fact I haven’t lived there in 2 years (this month) so from a recommendation standpoint he would be valuable.

Hey Dopers, Denver is pretty much the center of the country. There is plenty to do and the mountain view is incredible.

I am game to help out, even though not a lot of people are going to Vegas, it’s something I would be willing to work on again. In fact I plan on making the Vegas trip an annual event if we have a fabulous time.

4

If I could get approval from my parents and plane tickets, I would love to go to a SD gathering (I’m pissed I missed the LA gathering). However, the approval from my parents might be hard to get. Plane tickets I could prolly manage.

5

Pardon me ign’rance, Lex… where do you live? [don’t feel TOO bad… when I lived in Hawaii I missed out on ALL the munches.]

6

MUNCHIES?! Where?! I want munchies!

7

Baglady,

Lexicon lives about 9 miles west of me in Colorado Springs.

< harumph >

8

One day I really want to meet you and shake your hand, Freak.

9

Well in that case… I s’pose packing Lexicon in your suitcase for Vegas isn’t possible.

10

Lexi-

For mentioning Guiness in your thread, I’ll immortalize you at the Dubdupe next week. The last time we had one, we were drinking something that Democritus suggested (dont ask me what it was, but it did the job!)

We’ll have a round in your honour, so name your poison…

11

Sorry Monster, but you can’t shake my hand. I traded them in for a set of tentacles. They’re cool! I’m gonna start a new trend with these things!

But I assure you, if I had hands, I would be most eager to shake yours as well.

12

Too busy for a dopefest? Bah! Even Mini-Cyni could drink the lot of you under the table!

The question is, how many would be interested in a Denver Dopefest? I’d be happy to set it all up.

And Lexi, I’ve been getting my tolerance up lately. It’s surprising how much more alcohol you can consume when you quit smoking. Hopefully the relaxant properties of the alcohol will be an aegis against serious injuries from said tall, curly haired, large breasted woman.

13

Unless you’re playing the Special Microbiology and RetroVirus Commemorative Edition, I think I’d put my money on you, Lex.

14

Mr. C -

Depending on when y’all did this, the Traveling Falcon Show could be convinced to make a stop out there. :slight_smile:

15

You are someone I really want to meet also.

Hey, I used to live right outside of the Springs, in Fountain! Can’t you cruise out the east a bit, so you can meet some of us? Come out for the Norfolk fest! Hell, fly out for the weekend, willya?!!!

16

We talked about having a International dopefest at the Monterey GT, dunno what happened to that idea.

17

I suggest an east coast dopefest after Vegas. Fair is fair, you guys get one out there, we should get one here. EAST COAST IN DA HOUSE?

18

Actually, where I’m located in Kansas is practically the center of the country. No shit, really! There’s an army base here, Fort Riley, and there’s actually a monument to show the spot that is the exact center of the country. I’ve been there to see it. It’s about 20 miles west of me.

Anyways, no one ever wants to come visit me in Kansas so I guess if we have a Colorado Springs Dopefest I could make the 8 hour drive out there so I could get the chance to meet everybody even though the drive out there is the most boring drive on earth. Western Kansas is nothing but deer and beer.

19

A mere 8 hour drive? Piece of cake. I beg to differ on the most boring drive though. Beer and deer sound plenty tha-rilling after making an 8 hour tour of the cornfields of Ohio, Indiana and Illinois that lie between Toledo and Springfield. Hell, there’s even a small town named, “Cornland.” And I’m not going to talk about Farmer City. Yeesh.

20

I’m in Mississippi, so there’s not one near me at all. I mean, Atlanta is 8 hours, at least.

OH well… one year…