It’s not about jealousy, it’s about her being disrespectful to you. Flirting with husband in front of wife = disrespectful.
And just plain weird. I think I’d be more weirded out than mad, but I understand how you can be angry.
Have him finger his wedding ring or be really flamingly heterosexual with you next time that happens.
Not gonna suggest anything else with that finger. Y’all sexpervs are way better at that than I am:D
You know, something tangentially related to this happened to me this weekend. I was in a show at an art gallery, putting on my makeup in the mirror (it was a one-room bathroom). This girl wants to come in to get some paper towels. She said, “Honey, I know you’re busy, but could I get some towels?” I told her there were none, and she insisted she should come in, “I’m so sorry honey, but my friend needs a tissue!” There isn’t even any toilet paper in there, I tell her. “Oh honey, can’t you check to see if there’s any more?” Nope. None. “Really sorry to bug you, honey.”
I understand that when a person needs a tissue, they NEED one, but could she lay off with the “honey” business? It’s cloying, especially from a woman who is ten years younger than I am. By the end of the conversation, I wished there was a roll of paper towels in there so I could beat her to death with them.
Ugh-forget the flirting, if she was serious, that’s absolutely gross! My response would be, “Well, then you’re going to get me another cup-that’s completely unsanitary.”
I agree-you so did not overreact. In fact, I’d have complained to her boss.
A very similar thing happened to me in North Carolina at a restaurant my boyfriend-at-the-time and I went to. Situation where it was obvious we were together, yet the waitress flirted like crazy with him and even sat on his lap.
I understand there’s Southern Hospitality, but to sit on a man’s lap in front of his date is the kind of thing that could earn a waitress a nice tip - tip of the fist right into her eye. She laughed it off when we told her to stop it, so we had to get the manager and have someone else assigned to our table. Thankfully the next waitress, around the same age as the first, was much more professional.
Somehow, older, large black women seem to get away with this sort of behavior quite easily.
I’ve known some to whom everyone was Baby, Honey or Sugar.
Like the Oracle?
In this area (New Orleans), at least, being called honey, sugar, sweetie, etc. by waitresses is so ordinary that I don’t even notice it any more. But it’s generally applied indiscriminately, and not flirtatiously.
That waitress definitely deserved to be reported to the manager, however. Talk about rude and obnoxious. To both of you. I’m normally not a confrontational person, but there’s a time and a place for everything, and this was perhaps it. If you go back there again, you might ask for the manager up front and ask to be seated in any section BUT hers, and make sure the manager knows why.
And you left her any tip at ALL? Other than perhaps a nickel, just to let her know you hadn’t forgotten about her? I don’t like to completely stiff someone when I’m stiffing them, I want them to know it was deliberate!
I really should have asked for the manager and told him he might want to tell his waitress to tone down the cutsie talk to men there with their wives!
Yeah. Let’s try to get someone fired over this. OFF WITH HER HEAD!
Wow, I’m surprised you did leave a tip. I’ve encountered waitresses who address both my boyfriend and me as “honey, sugar, dear,” etc, but never one who did it solely to MY man and practically ignored me.
I’m quite secure in my relationship too, but that’s just plain rude. You two are much more tolerant than I am of inconsiderate people.
Yeah, the waitress was just rude. You don’t act like that towards someone when they’re with their S.O.
I don’t mind being called “honey” or “sugar” unless it’s by someone who’s my age or younger. WTF? It’s one thing if it’s coming from an older person, it’s kind of endearing then, but by someone your age or younger? That’s just lame. I can’t really explain it.
Although, constantly being called “kid” by some of the older men at work (I guess all those sexual harrasment workshops they’re forced to go to keeps them from calling me anything like “honey”) is starting to grate on my nerves. Didn’t mind it my first couple years, now it’s getting old.
But, uh, yeah. Anyway. That waitress is probably going to hit on the wrong girls S.O one day and learn the hard way that it’s not appropriate behavior.
And Aries is a blonde huh? Always pictured you as a brunette for some reason. Sauron paints a pretty vivid picture (in a good way). 
Yup. The waitress was rude.
And you, Aries, are a grade-A wuss. So’s your boyfriend. I’m damned if i’ll ever understand why people just put up with stuff that makes them angry, or pull passive-aggressive shit like leaving a shitty tip with no explanation. Fuck, next time why don’t you both grow a pair and actually say something?
Ma’am.
It’s a little thing called picking your battles, andros.
She said to ask the manager to have a discussion with her, not fire her. I would think that a manager would want to know when one of his employees is acting in such a manner as to piss off customers.
I am sure that fellow Baltimoreans will concur. Never, ever, move here if you have a problem being referred to in this manner. It seems that I am called hon’, honey, babycakes, or something similar at least twice a day.
Nope… Aries IS a brunette…but is trying blonde highlights for the summer.
And FTR…I would not ever try to get someone fired from their job unless it was just so bad that I felt that was the only option. I thought maybe the girl didn’t realize how annoying it could be and if her manager was aware of the situation he might be able to kindly give her some advice to lay off.
I don’t mind being called honey, darling, dear, etc. It was the fact that it was done at the end of EVERY sentence and it was done ONLY to my husband while I was virtually ignored.
Had she sat in his lap or placed her hands anywhere on him it would have been an entirely different story because I would have said something directly to her and/or made such a scene that it would be Oscar worthy.
I am by no means a tolerant person…in fact I have very little patience for rude people in general but I believe, as it was pointed out, there’s a time and a place.
I have a friend who seems to have a sugary form of Tourette’s Syndrome. She constantly refers to my GF as honey, sweetie, darling, even ‘my banana’ (my GF’s screenname was banana - we were partners in real life but happened to use the sdame message board). I wanted to scream at her ‘she’s not YOUR banana, she’s mine!’ It’s disrespectful. So was this waitress’s behaviour.
It’s worse for us in some ways though. Because we’re both female, people don’t realise we were a couple, and men would flirt right in front of us. It’s not their fault, but it’s really annoying.
Are you absolutely devoid of the ability to see the humour in what the waitress said? would you really expect her to stir the tea with her finger?
Okay…just WHAT exactly has my husband been posting on here? Do I need to do a search on his username for the last 4 years???
Here I thought he only rambled on about tomatoes, the Emperor at McDonalds, the lowest common denominator at Winn Dixie…
Although…there WAS that rather disturbing thread about the danish… Hmmmm…
We had one at Waffle House this weekend (it’s my dad’s favorite restaurant, go figure…so we took him for Father’s Day…hey, he’s a cheap date!:)). But she called all of us baby and sugar and honey - she wasn’t just directing it at my dad when my mother was with him. I think that’s the difference here. This waitress Sunday was a sweetheart - her daughter worked in the restaurant with her and we asked her daughter if she was always this cheerful - her daughter said “She is ALWAYS like this. I feel guilty being in a bad mood sometimes because my mother’s always so happy.”. We left her a big tip because she made all of us smile.
However, if she’d been flirting with my dad and ignoring me and my mother, that would have been a different story.
Ava