If you can't take it, get out of The Pit, geez

The BBQ Pit
21

It’s not our matter do deal with, is it? I think you’re preaching to the choir.

Isn’t it an important legal point (says Cranky, who doesn’t know shit about law really) that we’ve all got handles? On the SDMB, we’re not real people. Any lies or allegations someone makes here about me are not going to defame me to my neighbors, prevent me from getting jobs, etc. Even threats, alarming as they are, aren’t to our actual persons. The only way someone can make good on a threat to, say, shove a 2X4 up Cranky’s ass is to find out who I am. The SDMB lets ME decide whether to put up links and email which make that possible. That’s MY choice, not theirs.

Of course, if some poster wants to make up fake legal stationery and pretend such claims are valid, then yes, the Chicago Reader would have to burn some legal dollars answering the letter. Even if the response, in effect, says “HA HA HA HA HA.” At $200 an hour, Ha Has don’t come cheap, and it wouldn’t be worth it to The Reader to keep a board going if that sort of hijinx was the result.

But why give these threats more credence than they deserve. And I’d rather not get into a contest, even a joking one, about how someone would have a better “case” than people in that thread if such things were subject to tort law. Is it tort law? Christ, my ignorance about legal matters is embarrassing. Which is why I shouldn’t be posting to this thread in the first place.

22

Anal? Lawyers? OCD runs in my family; one brother was completely nuts from it, I’m a draftsman (Therapist quote, “Well, at least you’re in the right line of work!”), and everybody else are lawyers. I believe I know SOMETHING about their fundamental (and they put the “mental” in “fundamental”) lack of sense of humor, especially about their profession. Quoting the same therapist, “Fuck 'em if they can’t take a joke.”

Anyway, we don’t have to use fake letterhead anymore; one brother’s firm added a partner so he gave us some of their old letterhead. Not that we actually use it. :wink: And Wife hasn’t used her phoney law firm since we got married. She has REAL lawyers in the family, now. It was better before my dad died, though. “I’m sure my father-in-law, the federal judge, would be interested in hearing about this,” got her results, PRONTO!

23

Well, regardless, it looks like inor is back. At least, it doesn’t show that he’s banned. Maybe he sent an email and the admins reconsidered???

24

Read this closed thread, which was locked just three hours ago.

25

Actually we aren’t exactly faceless here or anywhere on the internet. A few years ago I had been posting for over a year in a recovery type message board. It was operated by one man. During that time I was having a terrible time with my then 14 year old daughter. She was skipping school, walking off school grounds when I took her in, and staying out all night. It was tearing my little family apart. Granted I held a lion’s share of the responsibility because I was coming out of a very disgusting and abusive relationship with a drug addict/drunk. At the same time that I was posting to my online friends about this, (an ALANON type of forum) there was an asshole in recovery in another forum that was being shitty to the non-addicts. He and the Administrator were good budddies. The asshole ran one of the online meetings. I got into it with him. A day or two before that I had posted about a physical altercation between myself and my daughter. There were already quite a few responses to that post and I know he had seen it before I finally lost my cool and got nasty with his asshole buddy.

The next day when I booted up there was an email from the Admin. He was banning me forever from the board. Not just banning me but he was using my ICQ address (my work address by the way, no computer at home) to find me and report me to my employer and report me for child abuse.

As it turns out I never heard anything from my employer or Social Services. I did however here from a lot of my fellow posters who did not agree with his actions. Two of them I still keep in touch with to this day. It’s been almost three years and my daughter and I are back on track and doing pretty OK for a couple of gals that went through alot. The board is still there and when you go into the home page there is a segment addressing Anoyminity and there it is…my story and how this asshole Administrator did such a hard yet noble thing by turning in a stressed out single mother for getting into a fight with her out of control 14 year old child.

BTW…the other asshole eventually lost his posting privledges too.

No one is safe from anything anywhere, not even here where none of us have a real face. I do not post my email address, here or anywhere on the web. I don’t like making references to where I live. Cleaver enough people can track you down if they want to badly enough. I also try to control my manners, just as I would if I were in face to face conversation with a real person. I haven’t always been successful but I do try. There isn’t any reason why people on the internet, especially civilized, educated people cannot interact without becoming rude, insulting and threatening. If someone consistantly rubs me the wrong way here, I do not address them. If I have decided that I simply don’t like someone, their views or their posting style, I don’t even bother to open their threads. I avoid them the same way I would avoid an aquaintance that I do not want to keep company with anymore. And it’s true there are some people here on this board that I cannot understand and do not want too know. I ignore them even if it is hard sometimes.

We would all benefit from treating each other with a little more kindness, empathy and civility.

Needs2know

26

originally quoted by Needs2know:

IAALIRL, and altho’ I don’t do criminal law, I am pretty sure that if you ‘cleaver enough people’ flamers are going to be the least of your worries. :stuck_out_tongue:

27

Ok, this is just insane. Apparently Inor is lying about me on another message board, saying that I threatened to sue various people (namely Inor, his ISP, and, according to techchick’s version, the Chicago Reader.) I never threatened to sue anyone, nor, for that matter, did I say anything that could be construed as such, but this is, after all, Inor that we’re dealing with here.

The problematic part is that techchick and Arden Ranger won’t tell me where, exactly, he’s posting these lies, so I can’t defend myself. Rather hypocritically, they have even criticised me for defending myself here, since Inor can’t post here and therefore… can’t defend himself. Hello?

Techchick, I don’t like seeing my reputation smeared. I didn’t like it when DITWD did it, and I don’t like it when you do it.

Back your accusations, or retract them.

-Ben

28

Um Ben, please allow me to introduce to you the evidence that TubaDiva stated this, OKAY? Now, I am not accusing YOU of anything. http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=64848 UM, this is a thread YOU brought up in your own damn thread.

If you are trying to bait me you aren’t doing a good job. You need to let this be. Your “reputation” as far as I am concerned on this board is no better than the new person that signs up tomorrow, I could give a rat’s ass as I am sure many here feel the same way. I have formed relationships with certain people on this board, some good some bad but others remain no more than a speck in my daily life.

I was initally responding to Tuba’s remarks, this has nothing to do with you unless you did actually email Tuba with threats of a suit that would include the SDMB/The Chicago Reader. So take yourself off the hot list, you aren’t that important to me but apparently important enough that I will shield others from retaliation elsewhere if that’s your motive.

29

**

Given Arden Ranger’s rather garbled report, can you understand how things might have gotten confused?

**

So? After I was directly accused, I brought it up in my own defense.

Fortunately Cabbage has enabled me to sort this out, by the simple expedient of providing me with the link.

Techchick, I suggest you be a little less paranoid- why the constant talk of “retaliation”?

-Ben

30

So, just to clear things up, TubaDiva never said anything about Ben threatening to sue anyone in the thread Techchick68 is linking here. Nor did any other staff member. There was mention of a legal threat, but Bens name was never associated with that by the Administration.

31

If I might add another note:

Techchick started a thread complaining about people who would threaten to sue CR. Jab1 tried to clarify the matter by linking to the thread in which Arden Ranger repeated Inor’s incorrect claim that I had been threatening some sort of legal action. I had peeked at this thread several days ago, and had no idea it was about me until I stumbled onto a reference to Inor’s claim in another thread, and ultimately found my way here.

What I find frustrating about all this is that not only did Techchick not give me the link- rendering me not only unable to defend myself, but unable even to find out what Inor had actually said, and whether Arden Ranger had reported it correctly- but she also criticised me for talking about it here, where Inor couldn’t defend himself. I found this to be not only frustrating, but more than a little hypocritical. Had she simply given me the link in the first place, instead of talking darkly of how I shouldn’t engage in “retaliation” and “tactics,” this would have gone a lot more smoothly. One can’t help but wonder if her behavior originates in a belief that I really did threaten a lawsuit, and a fear that her board would get involved in one.

-Ben

32

Oh and to clarify Coldy’s remarks even further, I didn’t state that Tuba said that it was Ben, I only replied to the corresponding remarks that made all these threads fashionable. I never implied it was Ben, I never said that Tuba said it was Ben…If I came across as stating that I thought Tuba was stating it was Ben then I need to work on my communications skills…I was going off of other’s remarks, trying hard to not involve outside areas that, by no fault of their own, got dragged into this.

33

My apologies for misinterpreting you, techchick. But again, had you simply permitted me to read Inor’s attacks on me, this could have been resolved with a lot less confusion.

-Ben

34

Um, no, I never thought anything of the like Ben. I just don’t know you and I didn’t know what kind of stuff you might start if you brought this up again in the other boards. This started on the SDMB and my opinion, should have stayed here or in email, even the thread that started over there, IMO should have been closed but it’s not my forum nor my board. I believe that most SDMB related stuff like that needs to stay out of there – they all know that but hey, that’s life.

Whether or not I believe you threatened a lawsuit is not the problem. If I believed it was you or if it was someone else in the original thread that started this fiasco is not the issue. The issue is, with regards to my OP that someone threatened to bring the SDMB into some kind of legal issue. I find this childish and downright lame. I never accused YOU, you “wonder” if I think as much.

Well, does it really matter to you, my opinion, which up until earlier tonight (telling you that I don’t care) I didn’t even acknowledge you?

I didn’t give you the link because I didn’t want you signing up in some kind of anger and start flinging gorilla dung if you hadn’t been able to think it through, again I don’t know you. I am not required to give anyone a link to anywhere, I could post, on a website, anything about you or anyone else here and not be required to give you a link.

It was my judgement, good or bad, that you needed to calm down before someone gave you the link. I tried my best, if even not the best way, to calm the waters…something I am not always good at.

However, don’t sit back and basically accuse me of blaming you for this entire thing. I didn’t accuse you as the one, Tuba never said it was you.

Don’t sit back and basically accuse me of wrong doing:

when I never even brought up your name.

Look Ben, your EGO is certainly a pretty large one…get over it. YOU aren’t the topic here, it was whoever threatened legal action and essentially would be dragging the SD into that. If that was you then you need to settle this with yourself and not me. I am not the accusatory person here YOUR name never came up that I recall, we linked your your petty little thread.

35

Scuse my language here:

Fucking “board temporarily closed bull-fucking-shit” I spent a good 20 minutes on that fucking post because I knew the boards would be down and dinked around on other things too…then Ben apologies…
Well my post stands, but I must note that I am still a little miffed.

With this I am done with this as far as Ben is concerned, but the OP stands…gotta beef? Take it up with the OP not the boards.

It’s cool, life is good and if it weren’t for the internet I would sleep normal hours.

36

I went back over this and couldn’t find where Techchick named anyone. She simply wanted to make her opinion known. And it’s one I happen to agree with, and probably many others do too. The Chicago Reader should not be held liable for anything that occurs between posters on this board. You come here at your own peril. You debate and rant at your own risk.

I don’t come here to argue with people. I don’t come here to be insulted or to insult anyone. After hanging out here for awhile it’s obvious that isn’t true of some others. But I hang around anyway and usually decline to engage. That’s what I suggest you do in future. Either that or go elsewhere.

Why not just be adult about all of this and drop it now? If you need someone to argue and trade insults with that’s fine. Just don’t cry foul and threaten to sue when someone gets the better of you.

These are the rules of engagement…enter at your own risk…be an asshole at your own risk…do not attempt to hold anyone else liable.

Needs2know