I may need to modify my Christmas List. My job, the shift work aspect of it, is destroying my family. I get about 15-20 min a day with my boys during the week & the weekend is never enough to make up for it. My boys are getting pictures taken this week & its like a year of their lives has been stolen from me.
My wife took over scouting duties, which I miss, and which are sinking her too (its not like her plate was empty). I never get to see any of my boys concerts, plays or school events. The other parents think I’m ignoring my kids… and from the outside it would seem that way, except you have No Idea how hard it is for me to not be there, to Never be there. My boys seem miserable and unhappy unless we have them out and about too, and there’s almost never any time for that.
I need to find the guts to quit. I need to work someplace else that has semi-normal business hours, that is a lot closer to home, that has some sort of telecommuting or personal time for when my kids or when I get sick. (You know, I sent Sean to school today coughing? I should be shot… :mad: ) I know it will have to be for less money (like I make a mint now) but its the only way if I’m going to stay in NJ and give them the life they deserve. I’m already updating my resume; I have a rep I’m working with through with Robert Half.
Sure, it sounds like I’m whining (and maybe I am) but its damn hard to see the picket-fence American Dream you’ve tried to build, by numbers and for years, cracking & ripping apart like a house made of LEGO being played with roughly by an angry toddler. So, C’mon Kris! Its not a new house & it won’t even cost you a cane. Its just a job… and its to keep the house and the family I have now.
It can’t take up too much room in the red sack and it will make my boys happier in 2011 than any toy your elves could build. What do you say? Deal…?
Access to my sister.
We only live 60 miles apart, But I haven’t seen her since our mom’s funeral in 2001. Before that we were just starting to get together more after a 10 year period of not seeing each other. There is no riff between us. I still love her as a sister, and I assume she feels the same way. She has been very helpful to us in our various lean times.
Here’s the problem ( I think) - Our mother had severe mental problems and our father had what was most likely asperger’s, and there is a seven year difference in our ages. My sister was thrown into the “mom” role until she married when I was 15. She wanted to separate herself from us/me and enjoy her new life. By the time I married 5 years later, we were at opposite ends of the social / financial scale. Her husband was an uppity snob, ( he was raised in a rural area, by a down to earth, but standoffish family, that he regards as just barely more worthy of his time than me.) My husband is good natured, funny, and from a family of loud, city-dwelling rednecks.
But, she’s in the process of getting rid of her husband, ( divorce, not murder), so maybe we can be sisters again soon.
I want my kids to be happy and healthy. Right now, the girl seems depressed and the boy as been having one asthma flare-up after another. Anything else I could ask for pales in comparison to the peace of mind which would come from feeling that my kids are OK.
A stable job in a city I love living in. That and good mental health (freedom from recurrent mild depression and anxiety). I’ll take the mental health first.
In order of desirability/probability (which sadly are inverse to each other):
[ul]
[li]One of those magic life-altering experiences you see in movies and TV holiday specials, that enable one to finally get the stick out of one’s ass.[/li][li]Improved health and libido- for my wife that is :)[/li][li]Failing the above, to have a friend-with-benefits that my wife would be ok with.[/li][li]To be able- financially and personally- to raise children.[/li][li]Enough money that I would never have to work again while living comfortably with a few toys.[/li][li]To somehow for the first time since early childhood to not be fat.[/li][li]A full time job with benefits, decent pay, and actually doing something fun and interesting.[/li][li]A full time job that at least didn’t suck.[/li][/ul]
I would ask Santa to release my son from jail on the 23rd and keep him out forever.
Money- so hubby doesn’t work himself to death.
True happiness and health for all.