That would make getting sexual reassignments damnably hard…
-Any local official who tries to have implements of self defense (tasers, mace, etc.) outlawed must engage in unarmed combat with Mr. T in a no-holds-barred fight to the death. If Mr. T is unavailable, either Mike Tyson or a volunteer from a maximum security prison may be employed in his place.
-Any local official who in any way fails to respect the separation of church and state shall be exiled to Afghanistan.
-Anybody complaining to the FCC about being offended by something on TV or the radio will be instructed in the basic principles of avoiding offensive material using such clever devices as the “tuning dial”, the “channel up/down buttons”, and the “on/off switch”.
-The Second Amendment shall be changed to read: “The right of the people to keep and bear arms in a safe, responsible manner shall not be infringed at any lever of government. This means you.”
-Any local official who tries to outlaw anything simply because he/she personally dislikes it shall also be exiled to Afghanistan.
:eek: Run, Prince, Run!!!
-Under no circimstances shall the manufacture, sale or use of any device that has not yet been made practical (low-flow toilets, electric cars, etc.) be mandated.
-Anyone wishing to own firearms must take a safety course. Anyone wishing to carry a concealed handgun must take a scenario-based training course (where you learn how to use a firearm in an actual self-defense situation).
-Anyone involved in law enforcement who utters anything to the effect of “If you have nothing to hide, you shouldn’t mind being searched” shall have live webcams installed in every room of his/her place of residence.
-natural disasters will now be illegal
-Murderers, rapists, child abusers and terrorists will be sent to their own island, where we get to watch them kill each other on pay-per-view.
-I will rule the world
That is all for now
-Any magazine company that puts more than one renewal form in its magazine shall have its headquarters burned down so it can’t produce any more magazines
-rap shall no longer be called music
-anybody who causes a class to go over something more than once shall be sentenced to watching Barney 24 hours a day until they agree(truthfully) to learn
-Companies that use computers to dial your number and doesn’t answer(even if they do answer) shall have its headquarters burned down.
-Miss Cleo, Carrot Top, N*Sync, BSB,and Brittany Spears, shall all have their skin scraped off with a cheese grater and will then be thrown into a vat of alcohol and salt.
-Any tarot person on TV shall be shot in the stomach
-Osama bin Laden shall be forced-fed an immortality solution and then shall live through the lives of everybody he has killed/has had killed and their families/friends, then shall be forced to shave his beard and live as an
American
Outlaw all lawn-mowing and all LawnMowers.
emmmm…as what exactly ?
Not to mention breast implants! :eek:
All current and potential police officers will be tested for sadism. If they fail they are out. Also if thier IQ is below 130 they are out.
Anyone wanting to be a politician will not be allowed to be.
Anyone abusing an animal will have the exact same abuse done to them and then they will be fed to the lions.
All rapists, murderers, assualters (?) and thieves will be executed with no exceptions, thereby eliminating most crime.
Companies who pollute must cease or forfit all assets.
-All charities shall be required to disclose the percentage of their income that is actually used for their stated causes wherever and whenever they request donations.
-A $1 billion prize will be offered to the first person or organization to develop a safe, effective, reliable cure for peanut allergies so we will no longer have to worry about people demanding that peanut products be banned from schools.
-A national “do not call” list for telemarketers shall be set up. Subscribers shall have the choice of blocking all solicitors, or allowing solicitors for charitable organizations*. Any telemarketing company that requires, encourages, or allows ite employees to call people on the list shall have its license revoked.
*Any company that solicits donations for charities and keeps more than 25% of the proceeds will be treated as a for-profit enterprise.
-Anorexics who encourage others to become anorexic shall be hunted down and sent straight to the nearest mental hospital.
Satasha:
That wouldn’t work - Believe me, it’s been tried.
miamouse:
Perhaps we should do the same to people who claim that not having children is “selfish”?
RoboDude: Just out of curiosity, what societies have tried it? At the least it would cut down on repeat offenders. (:
humans MUST plant catnip in their yards, or face a penalty of being scratched and tickled to insanity.
cats must be allowed their fair share of reigning in a household.
dogs are illegal.
no one shall laugh at a cat, or else face the penalty above.
there will be an international Cat Week every year, in which cats are worshipped and treated as gods and goddesses.
RAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I don’t remember which ones exactly, but I have heard about when executions were public, and pickpocketing was punishable by death, it was disturbingly common for pickpockets to work the crowds at executions, presumably thinking “That won’t happen to me-I’m a professional”.
What really needs to be done is for the system to place more emphasis on rehabilitating anyone it can.
Hey I like my AOL CDs, of course I’m in New Zealand so they are not much use but I still like them (and yes I was actually sent them :D)
19th century England had the death penalty for virtually everything, and public executions. Paradoxically, public executions tended to create crime: pickpockets worked the crowd, and burglars tended to take advantage of the unoccupied houses and businesses (as everyone was off watching the execution).
Admittedly, there was trial by jury in this system, but it was still very oppressive and quite ineffective at reducing crime. But despite clear evidence that the death penalty does not deter crime, people still stand behind it. Go figure.
By the way, nobody has guessed yet which one of the rules proposed by the OP I don’t like.
When I run the world:
Anyone caught tossing a cig butt on the ground will pick it up, with their mouth!
Birth control will be enforced as the boy enters puberty, a lengthy written application will have to be processed by congress to get the BC turnd off.
Old people are not allowed to drive.
I like the turn signal ideas, making the car turn if its on, the car WONT turn if its off. Perfect.
Sex offenders and serial killers and other violent criminals go to a penal colony. I think Newfoundland would be perfect, with the billions saved from running prisons, we resettle all the newfies on Cape Breton Island.
People who kill a spouse they caught cheating will not be punished.
Policemen will be paid ALOT of money, buckets of it, and only the best applicants will be accepted.
Foreign aid will cease until every man woman and child in this country has a warm home, three square meals a day and a decent haircut.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by KellyM *
**
oh yeahhhh… you park on curbsides, right? RIGHT?!
-All drivers must take a road test every seven years to renew their licenses.
-Medicaid shall cover all forms of birth control, including surgical sterilization. It will not cover fertility treatments.
-Anyone willfully attempting to misuse the Americans with Disabilities Act to land a job they are incapable of doing shall be required to drive a cigarette boat through the most rock-infested river that can be found at a minimum speed of 60mph while blindfolded.