If you don't have a large vehicle, you have no penis

[Tuckerfan]

@bump

Could be a Hummer H3, I guess. They’re really Chevy Colorados, at least mechanically, so they’re not nearly as beefy & masculine as they’d have you believe.

That might be the mileage for the diesel models. I actually have a bit of a softspot in my heart for the original Hummer (not the H2 or H3) as American General is the only surviving part of AMC (it was spun off when Renault bought a stake in AMC). That being said, I can’t imagine ever owning one.

[SenorBeef]

@UncleRojelio

Does someone actually sit in the vehicle when that thing fires? Seems like the rocket plume would melt the driver.

Missiles meant to be used close to people often have a soft launch - that is, a small explosive charge that propels them forward far enough that so when the real rocket motor kicks in it’s far enough away from people not to melt them.

[Uzi]

@tremorviolet

Yeah, the other comerical has a guy buying healthy vegetables and some tofu and he gets all intimidated when the guy behind him loads up the conveyer belt with nothing but meat. :rolleyes:

Actually, there is a valid reason for this. Tofu isn’t food. Tofu is what food eats. Thus the guy is intimidated because of the predator/prey relationship he has with the other fellow. The same is true when cows are around wolves. They get nervous

[BiblioCat]

@The Scrivener

I haven’t seen the H2 “playground” ad, but I have seen the “meat vs. veggies” one.

I’ve seen the playground ad, but not the meat vs. veggies one. I remember one from a few years ago that I absolutely hated, the one with all the kids building soapbox-derby type cars, with one kid building a soapbox-Hummer car. All the other kids race down the road the right way, while Hummer Kid cheats and takes a shortcut down the grass. He wins, of course, and has this smug smile on his face at the end. Why all the other kids didn’t beat the snot out of him, I don’t know.

[audiobottle]

@BiblioCat

I’ve seen the playground ad, but not the meat vs. veggies one. I remember one from a few years ago that I absolutely hated, the one with all the kids building soapbox-derby type cars, with one kid building a soapbox-Hummer car. All the other kids race down the road the right way, while Hummer Kid cheats and takes a shortcut down the grass. He wins, of course, and has this smug smile on his face at the end. Why all the other kids didn’t beat the snot out of him, I don’t know.

Well, duh, it’s 'cause he drives a HUMMER. Hell, he’s probably already shaving three times a day and banging two chicks a night.

[NDP]

@BiblioCat

I’ve seen the playground ad, but not the meat vs. veggies one. I remember one from a few years ago that I absolutely hated, the one with all the kids building soapbox-derby type cars, with one kid building a soapbox-Hummer car. All the other kids race down the road the right way, while Hummer Kid cheats and takes a shortcut down the grass. He wins, of course, and has this smug smile on his face at the end. Why all the other kids didn’t beat the snot out of him, I don’t know.

Technically, the kid in the soapbox-Hummer ad didn’t cheat. At the beginning of the commercial, the boy reads a flier for the race that says whoever gets to the bottom of the hill first wins. It didn’t say that everybody had to follow the same route down. There was a loophole in the rules and the kid just took advantage of it by way of his soapbox-Hummer. (What upset me about the ad was the use of The Who’s “Happy Jack.”)

As for the recent Hummer ads, they seem to be purposely embracing the vehicle’s negative image so they can throw back it in the faces of their critics. However, I doubt that telling people they’ll be emasculated doormats if they don’t drive a Hummer will be enough to sell a vehicle that gets under 15 mpg in a world of $3+ per gallon gas.

[Kizarvexius]

@BiblioCat

I’ve seen the playground ad, but not the meat vs. veggies one. I remember one from a few years ago that I absolutely hated, the one with all the kids building soapbox-derby type cars, with one kid building a soapbox-Hummer car. All the other kids race down the road the right way, while Hummer Kid cheats and takes a shortcut down the grass. He wins, of course, and has this smug smile on his face at the end. Why all the other kids didn’t beat the snot out of him, I don’t know.

Naw, the kids didn’t lay a finger on him. Because he’d already been beaten to a pulp by all the furious parents who had designed and built their own kids’ racers.

[Chronos]

I actually did see a fuel-efficient, Earth-friendly Hummer, the other day. Believe it or not, Hummer is now also apparently building (or at least licensing their trademarks to) bicycles.

Mind you, I probably still wouldn’t buy one, since it probably cost about ten times as much as my bike, which is almost as functional. But they exist.

[Anne_Neville]

@Chronos

I actually did see a fuel-efficient, Earth-friendly Hummer, the other day. Believe it or not, Hummer is now also apparently building (or at least licensing their trademarks to) bicycles.

Mind you, I probably still wouldn’t buy one, since it probably cost about ten times as much as my bike, which is almost as functional. But they exist.

Something new for people with more dollars than sense…