If you don't like it, throw the toy away!

The BBQ Pit
101

{{{{{{Taxguy}}}}}}}

:smiley: !
IDBB I’m wondering if there isn’t more to your husband’s freaking out than finances. Because taxguy is right, anyone with a pulse can get student loans. I managed to avoid it by working my ass off through college, but I’ll sure as hell be taking them out for law school.

So that’s not it. Do you think maybe your husband is afraid of you “showing him up?” It’s not true that you’re not as smart as him. When have you had a chance to prove that? I’ve gone through 2 messy breakups because the men I was with got tired of me “showing them up.” They became resentful and nasty, the further I got in my education. When you talk to CG tonight, make sure you air everything out.

And good luck.

102

Community classes cost approximatly $30.00 a credit hour.
This means for your typical 3 hour class, you will spend maybe $150.00 (supplies).

You can take all sorts of classes: ceramics, basic drawing I, life drawing, etc.

I’m sorry, but I am not buying this “my husband forbids me to go to one class even” bullshit.

It’s just another excuse, another person to lay the blame on.
It’s typical IDBB, folks:
You will give her great advice and support and she will ALWAYS ALWAYS come up with an excuse.

But hey, the world needs ditchdiggers, right?

103

This really frightens me.

104

I don’t know, lezlers. I don’t want to get into a big fight about it with him. If he says it’s not financially feasible, I’m sure he’s right. I trust him to do what’s best and if he says going back to college right now isn’t the best idea in the world, I believe him.

He also said he’s afraid (partially anyway)of me wimping out and dropping out. It’s not the first time it’s happened. When I worked for Target, I was sexually harrassed and denied a promotion (IMO) because of it. I stayed with them anyway, at least until something else came up.He said that was a classic example of my wimp-out technique.
Same with Godiva. I stayed with them for well over a year, holding the store together for about a month or so when the general mgr quit. When we got a new mgr who only wanted to show me off as part of her dog and pony show and didn’t show any interest in training me for a promotion, I quit.

I went to B&N and when I was fired because of post-holiday slowdown (even though I’d been promised a permanency when I was hired), I didn’t fight it. I just let it go and was out of work for over a month.

I went on job hunts. I’ve filled out enough applications to make a phone book and cause Greenpeace to cry. I’ve been on a dozen or so interviews.

I realize I have little marketable skills other than a knack for customer service and a flexible schedule. It’s not easy to find a job like that out here wher I am am right now because I don’t KNOW anything. Not a damn thing.

The only thing I have going is my work ethic. I will keep schelpping and plugging away until I either have enough money to retire or until I pass out and die from exhaustion and overwork at the age of like oh I dunno…90 or something.

IDBB

105

Is it an excuse if it’s the toasted toads truth,Baboon?

IDBB

106

You create your own destiny, baby.

Never* buy what your husband tells you hook, line and sinker, without question. Never buy what anyone tells you, hook, line and sinker, without question.

My stepdad always told me (he’d die of happiness if he knew I was passing it on)

No one eats for you, no one sleeps for you, don’t let anyone think for you.

Anyone who would prevent you from bettering your life, and remind you of your past failures isn’t doing what’s best for you. Stand up for yourself.

I never imagined you as being the submissive, dutiful, frankly dumb, naiive wife before. It’s suprising.

107

lezlers–yup!That’s me…the submissive wife. I’ve always been that way, esp with him. Daddy complex or something, I suppose.

IDBB

108

That’s nothing to be proud of, sweetie.

109

That’s because it’s conveniant right now.

110

And what the hell is up with my coding today?

111

You’re right Baboon.

I know I should give up, but something about this girl gets to me. I feel compelled to help her, even when she resists like all hell. I don’t know what it is.

112

I suspect that IDBB only becomes

when it’s convenient for her,** lezlers**.
The baboon is right-IDBB has more excuse than Carter has pills.
Give it up.

113

I just remembered that you’re Wiccan, IDBB. Does your husband know this? Somehow, I doubt it.

I think it would be really helpful to get in touch with your spirituality right now. Do some heavy meditating, see what comes to you. You could also use a major, industrial strength smudging.

114

Great minds think alike…
You probably like to pick at scabs too, ** lezlers**. :wink:

115

jlzania and Baboon–actually I’m that way all the time. I always have been. I probably always will be. Why? Not because it’s convient but that’s just the way I am. I want to be more independant but with no sense of finances and no credit cards and nothing of my own, it’s kinda hard. Yes I’m naieve’. Yes I’m dumb. Yes I’m dutiful. SO FUCKING WHAT? It’s just the way I am and I’ve learned to live with it.
IDBB

116

lezlers–he knows and doesn’t really approve but doesn’t want to make waves, so we each go our own ways when it comes to religion.

And I’ll admit it…I’m a LAZY wiccan. I can’t even meditate right cuz I keep getting distracted, even when I’m alone in a room with nothing on, no candles, no scents around me,nothing except me, the cats and the air around me.

IDBB

117

IDBB, I understand how difficult it can be to try to pass a class you are not good at, and have a learning disability in. Colleges are usually very accomodating for students who need extra help for a learning disability if you ask for it, including special classes or tutoring, even administering tests according to what is easier for you. Believe me when I say people with learning problems have passed math before, and you can do it too.

If nothing else, you really should get at least somewhat of a handle on your finances. You can do basic addition and subtraction with a calculator to keep track of what money comes in and out, and there are many cheap software programs that will make it even easier, all you have to do is enter the amounts. It is a basic skill that everyone should have. If something happened to your husband tomorrow, you would be SOL without being able to pay your own bills. It really, really scares me when one partner has no control over finances at all. Tell your husband you are interested in learning about your budget and money. If he is not willing to show you and help you, ask him why.

I also just wanted to add that I do not regret my student loans. It was the only way I could go to the college I wanted, and they are not considered ‘bad debt.’ It is an investment in your future, not like racking up a credit card. Believe me, you could go to community college or a university for 4 full years and still not have the student debt I do, and the payments (once I consolidated) are practically nothing per month, and they are very willing to work with people on they payment schedule. The interest is also very reasonable, and also tax deductable.

118

I have no problem with the fact that you’re* lazy* IDBB.
Because, when all’s said and done, that’s the real issue here-you’d rather piss and moan about your life than actually get off your ass to change it.
By your own admission-you’re too lazy to even attempt to practice the religion that you profess to believe in.
However, when you chose to whine about your lot on a public message board, be prepared for a little dose of the truth.
I don’t think for one second that you’re naive, dutiful, or dumb.
You do like attention and you do like playing the poor poor pitiful me card to excess.
But most of all, you’re just extremely lazy.

119

Yes, you’re twenty-four. Not to be condescending, but people do not just spring out of high school with a perfect credit rating and an unerring sense of the stock market. Everybody finds their own fiscal path; many people stumble a bit along the way.

Hi, I’m sugaree. I took (am taking) out student loans and don’t regret it a bit. This is my husband. Call him Mr. sugaree here. He borrowed his way right up through grad school. Sure, his payments are big. But his paycheck is bigger. Okay, that two non-regrettees.

No, you are holding yourself back. One credit away from an Associates? That would open doors for you…you need to get it!

A learning disability is serious, but it can be overcome. When you failed, did you seek tutoring? Did you sit down every day, rain or shine, and plow through practice problems?

I am a far better student now than I was at the age of eighteen. I have discipline. Most of us non-trads do wipe up the younger competition, ya know.

No. You can do this. You just have to want to.

Keep coming up with the excuses. I have an answer for all of them.

120

Oh, wow. I never saw IDBB’s post on the previous page, I was busy posting my response to the post before that.

YOU ARE ONE CREDIT AWAY FROM AN AA???

Take the fucking math class. Any college campus offers tutoring and special facilities for people with learning disabilities. I can’t BELIEVE you’re making excuses not to go back and take 1 FREAKIN’ credit to get your AA.

That, my dear, is ridiculous.