If you frequently ask someone to give you a ride, what do/should you do in return?

[Dung_Beetle]

I think that was incredibly diplomatic and well done. Congratulations!

[puzzlegal]

That’s great. I hope this works out well for you.

[needscoffee]

Good job!

[Dinsdale]

Good job to find a solution that works for you. (BTW - tell her if she puts the mums out too early, they’s just shoot their wad before fall really gets here!)

[Moriarty]

@StarvingButStrong

Well, not that I think anyone is desperate for an update from me…

I’m very pleased to get an update from you. I’ve been watching the thread hoping for one.

@StarvingButStrong

I had a (hopefully effective while still being nice) conversation with Mary this morning.

Congrats! I sincerely know how uncomfortable that can be.

But, was I correct that it was not nearly as bad as your mind might have thought it would be? (I’m constantly having to re-learn that lesson)

@StarvingButStrong

So, 1) I’ve flat out told her no more non-local rides. 2) I’ve raised the point that gas costs money and I don’t have it in unlimited amounts, so maybe she’ll get the hint this time. 3) I made the point that I plan to work her trips to mesh well with my own activities. 4) Guess what? Having to around for the other person’s activity can go both ways.

To jump off #2, if she ever asks again for a trip, it would seem fairly natural to say something like “Sure. How about we split the cost of gas?”

@StarvingButStrong

I’m feeling rather pleased with myself – I managed to make my points clear, I think, without having to be rude or confrontational.

It’s a hell of a skill to have. Way to go!

[Kropotkin]

Thanks for the update. I’ve learned a lot from this thread and from your solution.