If you had ONE piece of advice to give to others based on a mistake what would it be?

My advice would be:

Avoid making assumptions.

What would your advice be?

Your relationship with your employer is as follows: you work, they pay. No one at the company you work for gives a shit about you. Not your boss, not his boss, not HR, no one. If they can make a single cent more by firing you then your employment will last until your boss can get to your desk. They demand loyalty and hard work and all that other stuff from you because it helps them make money. You owe them no more actual loyalty then they owe you: none.

Don’t leave physical evidence at the scene.

Don’t assume that anyone is going to take responsiblity of your life for you.

Somebody has to say it:
“Never get involved in a land war in Aisia.”*

Trust your instincts. If you have a feeling he’s cheating on you, even if you have no concrete proof, he probably is.

I don’t care how you do it, be it racking up gobs of loans or what, but finish college and get a degree in SOMETHING. Anything! It will open more doors for you.

An appropriate one for the times (but I’ve been saying it for years) - DON’T GET INTO DEBT! I don’t care if you have to work two jobs and it takes you six years to finish university, don’t start your adult life with the albatross of high debt around your neck. Debt is like a steep, slippery slope - so easy to get into, and so hard to get out of. Live within your means. If you can’t afford it yet, save up until you can.

ETA: Sorry, Shirley, stepped on your point a little. :slight_smile:

Keep track of your bills and a running total of what you spend every day / week / month. Trust me, the little stuff really adds up.

Don’t be afraid to tell someone you love them. Whether that’s your mom, or your best friend, or your boyfriend. You won’t regret it. But you might regret it later if you don’t. And that sucks.

Do not make decisions from fear.

This has tripped me up more times than I can count. Fear of being exposed; fear of being rejected; fear of looking ridiculous; fear of other peoples’ anger; fear of losing the girl; fear of finding the girl; fear of not living up to expectations; fear of success; fear of this, that, and the other thing: all of these have led me to making most of the worst decisions of my life.

Fear. It’s the internal terrorist.

If you walk through a forest of red flags for love, you’ll be beaten with every single one of those red flags on the way out.

Take responsibility for your own life, but appreciate what other people do for you.

Amen, featherlouu. I rid myself of my debt in a struggle that lasted six years ago. Of course, I had no idea that today’s conditions would happen, but I am so so so glad that, if the worst happens, no-one is going to come after me for my stuff. I have monthly bills that I can terminate (some at some penalties), but that’s it. I may not have a lot, but what I have, I actually have.

Yes-get a degree!!

Don’t marry before 30.

Don’t quit a job in anger until you have a better one lined up. The worst time to negotiate the package at a new job is when you HAVE to get a paycheck, vs. wanting a better paycheck.

Start going to the gym.

Don’t trust anyone completely, including yourself.


I know my father loves me, but he’s not said so in over 25 years and that hurts.

Do not be afraid to seek advice and help from people. Your problems may seem insoluble to you but chances are that someone can help. Do it before things get completely unfixable.