If you have no cash, don’t stay out all night.

The BBQ Pit
41

Heh… I have several really good friends at work and we actually hang out with each other on the weekends. Every Thursday we go out to the same local brew pub and indulge in beer and food. We’ve been doing this for some time and we have a really good relationship with the brewery’s owner.

In any case, somehow another one of our coworkers got invited to go with us. None of us worried about who was ordering what as we usually would pay our own tabs as we left. So the new guy said that he enjoyed hanging out, but had to get up early the next day, and he left. At the end of the evening we found out that he skipped out on the bill. We told the staff that we’d take care of his tab and we all agreed that we wouldn’t invite him again.

So the next week he showed up at the brewery on his own accord. He never mentioned about not paying and we all just pretended he wasn’t there. The waitstaff gave the rest of us their usual great service, but systematically ignored the new guy. Finally, he decided to confront the waiter when he delivered the second round of beers, “Hey man, I need something to drink too!” The new guy said this loud enough that several of the nearby tables stopped talking and looked over. The waiter then replied, “We don’t serve freeloaders here. Once you square up with your friends for last week, then I’ll bring you a beer. However, you will pay for each beer as you receive it.”

New guy stood up, threw a $20 down (which was about half of what he actually owed) and stormed out of the place. Thankfully, he hasn’t showed up since.

erislover, your friend actually sounds a lot like me. I’m very generous to friends who are down but I expect the same should I need it.

42

Hey Billdo, I didn’t realize my ex-husband showed up! (not really, but damn does that sound like him)

43

Ah, the joys of cheap friends. I remember a friend who, when we went out to dinner as a group, would always “forget” to chip in for the communal garlic bread and drinks. She was the type who, if her share of the bill came to $9.80, would hover around until she got her change back, and who would use other people’s tips as an excuse to pay less for her own meal (“oh if you’re putting in $15 I’ll just take $4 out”).

In our friendship group there were a couple more like her, and every time we’d go out to eat the bill would come up short. This was strange because four of us were fairly generous tippers (for 18 year olds in a non-tipping culture) We figured it out one night when we all had very comparable meals but half of us paid $20 and the other half paid $10. The cheap half would do their thing of not paying for the communal food and taking extra money out of the total. Then the more generous half would see that there was only a 50c tip and throw in some extra money. The only way the cheap half would pay their fair share was if we pointed it out. Personally I think that adding up little bits of change and having to remind people that they are fucking cheap bastards is a terrible way to end a meal, so eventually we stopped going out as a big group.

My younger cousin had a similar problem with cheap friends - or rather, a cheap friend - we’ll call her Emma. They would go out clubbing and would all buy drinks, and Emma would never buy anything but would mooch from everyone else all night. And she would never chip in for the taxi home; one night she was with another girl in the taxi and the bill came to $11 - the girl had a $5 and a $20 and Emma just had a $20. Naturally Emma would take the $5 and pay the driver with the $20, but she just told her friend that she only had a $20 and got out of the taxi. She didn’t just use her friends - she would often boast that her grandmother gave her $100 every time she went to visit, and would say “oh I’m broke this week … time to visit my grandma” and “my grandma is getting old and keeps forgetting that she’s already given me money - well too bad for her!”

It’s not exactly the same situation as yours, but the overall theme of people using others to subsidise their own greed is unfortunately similar.

44

I think we’ve all met this person, haven’t we?

One of my good girlfriends also happens to be my coworker, and since we both bartend, naturally our friends expect to be “hooked up” to some extent when they show up. Good friends don’t show up very often, though, because they know we can’t give out free liquor every day all day long…except for this one friend of hers, whom we’ll call Jessica.

Jessica never has cash. She drinks vodka like water, and then offers my friend a credit card. Knowing that my friend usually won’t give her a tab unless she drank a shitload. Well, without a tab, there’s no way to run a credit card, is there? And without a credit card tab, how the hell can Jessica tip my friend?

Aaah, now you’re getting the picture.

And then Jessica will reach into my friend’s tip jar and pull out five bucks! Without asking! “I need cab fare!”

Personally, I’d have killed Jessica a long time ago, and then pickled her in cheap vodka, but she still lives to mooch another day.

FTR, I’ve told my friend to start giving Jessica her entire freakin’ tab, til she learns to stop at the ATM and get some damn cash…but :shrug: I can’t make her do it.

And as for raiding my tip jar… :eyes bulging:

I dare somebody to try it.

45

Audrey, if only your friend could go to her friend’s place of work and mooch, like Jerry in Seinfeld went and heckled the heckler at her job.

If Jessica works at a bank, turn up and go “hey, can you slip me $100 from your drawer?” If she works in retail, ask for free stuff non-stop. And hey, if it works, at least your friend will make some of her money back. :stuck_out_tongue:

46

Ahhh yes… the relentless freeloader syndrome. What can I say? Just when I think it’s safe to start going out to bars again and hanging out with people who like to go out at night, well I’ll read a thread like this and be reminded in one fell swoop why I bailed that scene to begin with.

I don’t have many friends these days. And those that I do have I’ve known for 20 years or more. But I DO have a lovely, wonderful, beautiful wife and a 9 month old daughter who is gorgeous beyond description. I might not get to do all the “partying” anymore that I once did, but I read this entire thread and I remember now why I was ready to “settle down” when I did.

47

Just as a point of clarification to above, I choose not to have many friends I should say - as in, I’ve learnt to distinguish between aquaintances and true friends if you know what I mean.

48

My friends and I will either mention up front that we want separate checks, (due in part to the fact that we all use our ATM cards for almost everything), or we do the math until everyone agrees on his/her fair share. There is also a peer pressure system in place which assumes we tip 20%. Only when someone complains of money issues (we are poor students and recent graduates, after all), or when there are service issues, is a 15% tip acceptable. But that 15-20% range usually absorbs any discrepancies in what each person pays. (So as long as the tip is OVER 15%, we’re cool) Plus, it’s harder to fake bad math on 20%, being such an easy number to figure (let’s see for every $5 I spend, I owe a buck… tough stuff there!)

Basically, when the check comes, each person glances at it, knows what the total tip should be, and figures out their part of the bill. The actual total tip is compared against the real and discrepancies are dealt with before closing it out. Sounds like more trouble than it is, but in all the dinners my friends and I have had, there was only one major disagreement over a bill, and we just patiently talked it over until the math was agreed on and all parties not only agreed to pay their share, but understood that it was their share.

As far as spotting, we’re all pretty careful of keeping account of of who owes whom “I owe you $X, I just spotted you $Y, now you owe me $Z, but dont sweat it, I’m sure you’ll catch me up next time I’m short” Sometimes we spot eachother just to make up differences - like when a friend is about to use a card instead of cash “Hey, I have it in cash, I’ll just pick this up because I owe you about this much anyway”

This doesn’t work when you’re friends with a freeloader though.

I don’t know what to suggest for you, because in his position, my behavior would have been different from the beginning:
a)probably wouldn’t have gone out
b)would just get water
c)would ask a friend if they could afford to spot me a specific amount, making that amount the minimum possible to remain an active participant
d)if they spotted me, I’d pick a cheap refillable drink (soda) or if they pushed me to have alcohol I’d nurse the one drink all night

$20 is not a skimpy loan for a night out. That’s enough for a pricey drink and a burger or more at a cheaper place. If I have NO money, I’m not going to go along to a place where I have to mooch more than $20. As a college student, meals that involve waiters are a privilege, anything over $15 total is an extravagance. (I’m still mad at myself for spending $10 each on lunch and dinner today, and I was out with some friend or another all day)

49

If one of my friends is hard up, we can get an extra glass and he can take some from my pitcher, but I’ll be damned if I’m loaning out $20 to one of those bastards. I’ll never see it again and I’m pretty much the only one with a job and any sense of fiscal responsibility.

When I bum though, I’m good for it. Once while at some friends’ place, we were having so much fun I accidently drank my pal’s entire bottle of whiskey. Next time I saw him, I stopped at the liquor store first and replaced it.

50

I used to have a friend named JB who’s not quite that way anymore, but he used to be king of all mooches. He’d go to bars with people, and when they’d get a pitcher, he’d just say “I only got 23 cents on me” and everybody would be cool with it. He dated a waitress so he could get free food whenever he visited her at her restaurant. He’d come over to somebody’s house, hang around till late, then crash on their couch. He’d continue doing this until they kicked him out, then he’d go over to somebody else’s house. He managed to do this for a few semesters.

He’d get away with this because he was entertaining to be around. He could talk about anything, and if you called him on being a mooch, he’d just laugh and joke about it

Nowadays he makes big bucks working for IBM, so he occasionally treats. :slight_smile:

51

I used to have a “lunch bunch” in the office I worked in, and we’d all go out to lunch once a month or so. Never had a problem with it because: (a) We agreed up front how it would be paid for, i.e. that we were going to go dutch or that we’d get one check and split it evenly; (b) If someone had a temporary financial crisis and couldn’t afford the “split it evenly” route (because some folks liked to get a more expensive lunch – hey, we’d go to nice restaurants for a treat), we’d know up front and they’d pay separately so no hassles; and © we’d agree on the tip percentage and make sure everyone chipped in evenly. Never had a problem with it, like I say.

OTOH, I remember going out for a farewell dinner when we left Japan and one cheap woman insisted that she and her man couldn’t afford to do the “just order food and we’ll all split it evenly at the end of the evening” bit. So they ordered separately. The rest of us, being sick to death of her, would offer HIM goodies from our supply, but she was on her own…ended up costing her at least half again as much as the rest of us spent. Not that anyone felt too sorry for her. (Now, HE was a different matter entirely…)

52

I was part of group that did the same thing as in the OP. A group goes out, we all throw a bunch of cash into the center of the table and let the night progress. We had one friend that was a moocher just like this. She always complained about not having money. If we went out for pizza she would pull out a coupon and say that was her share. But, one night my future wife saw this same person taking money out of the pot in the middle. Not only was she not paying, she was also taking money from us.

53

When we’re out eating, if my friends don’t split up the check evenly, we’ll just each put in about how much we think we owe. We’re pretty darn good at estimating it, and usually we’ll have a bit more than necessary and give the waiter/waitress a healthy tip. It works out well, provided you don’t have a mooch in the group. That’s one reason I’m glad we’ve identified this one so we can deal with him appropriately if we go out.

A couple of weeks ago my parents went to a large group dinner with people from an organization they’re involved in. There were about 17 people at two tables, all on one check. When the bill came, some of the people at one table objected to sharing the bill with the people at my parents table, because a number of the people at my parents table had the lobster special. After getting the bill split between the two tables, it turned out that the difference in the per head cost between the two tables was 23 cents, with the lobster table coming out cheaper!

Moral of the story, just throw in what you owe and don’t make an issue of it. Life’s to damn short.

Lazlo, I love your treatment of the freeloader/coworker. I’m not sure if or when our freeloader may appear again, but I’m sure he’ll be treated about as cooly.

Audrey, taking from a tip jar. I’m agahst. As a customer I’d want to rip her hand she used from her arm. I’m pretty frequently bought back drinks, but I’ll always increase the tip, usually for near the cost of the freebie drink.

Jodi, I’ll take you up on that drink next time I’m in Seattle. I’m actually working on a case based out there, so I may be out in the next several months. Great city.

Everyone else, thanks for the stories. It’s nice to know I’m not alone, but kinda scary to know how many freeloaders there are out there.

54

Well, I still think you go to his house and pee on the floor.

55

That’s your solution to everything.

I just wouldn’t go out with the guy anymore.