My mom’s Shih Tzu will jump right onto the dining table and eat whatever’s there if given a chance (yes my mom has spoiled her rotten).
Yours?
“I’m still a puppy…”
“I will shed massive tumbleweeds of fur on your hardwood floors, no matter how often you brush me.” -Chase the Yellow Lab
“I love the tootsie rolls in the cat box”
“Hi, I’m Scout the Border Collie. I hope you like having a right arm like Nolan Ryan’s, 'cuz I need you to throw the ball 36,786 times a day.”
A dear kitty from long ago:
“Greetings, I’m Keefer! I hope you like the smell of boiling cat piss, as I’ll be peeing on the stovetop burners for the next 15 years.”
I like to puke up my hairballs into my owner’s shoes. - Panther the kitty
Hi, my name’s No No Bad Dog! What’s yours?
“I’m fine with people and cats but I attack other dogs for no good reason”
I’m Dammit Stopthat! Wanna play?
“I think I’m a dog. I hate the other cat, and hiss and growl at her for no apparent reason.”
“I work too hard at my job of guarding our territory and being a faithful friend.”
That would be true, but he should also wear this one:
“I won’t come inside in the middle of the night because I might be able to catch that rabbit!”
He can hardly move anymore, that rabbit would have to run in front of him and drop dead from a heart attack.
Pooka (Newfie): “I eat from the table because I can.”
Kona (Swissie): “I won’t stop licking you until you make me. I’m sorry. Let me lick you to apologize.”
Boo (Cat): “The curtain was in my way. So I removed it. Permanently.”
One would be, “I’ll eat everybody’s food unless you lock it in their boxes”
The other guy, “Oh, I’ll get you to throw that ball, and I’ll go get it, but I’m not giving it back to you!”
The two girls get no signs. They do no wrong. Never!
Almost.
Mollie: I tried hard to eat the couch. (Mollie is a 13 month old Border Collie - Chow mix)
Charley: I watched her. Okay, maybe I had a nibble. (Charley is a 3 year old lab-shepherd mix)
Lucy: I stayed upstairs, away from the scene of the crime. Seriously, i did. (Lucy is a 11 year old Cockapoo)
Doggie webcam shows all of the above is true.
My cat Jack has a note in his vet’s record - “Careful, Bites”. But it doesn’t also say “Careful, he will shit all over you and everything else, including himself.” He really, really hates strangers.
Ted would also have, “WARNING: These eyes *will *guilt you into scratching my butt”
I Tried to Eat the Dog
— Jazzie the cat
(The cat is about twice the size of the dog)
“I might have learned to leave the baby bunny nest alone after getting squirted with the hose. Maybe.” - Polly
Current foster dog, a beagle-basset mix: “I am fascinated but intimidated by cats so I spend hours tracking them around the house, barking at the scent like the mighty hunter I am not.”