[QUOTE=msmith537]
It’s a common mistake. She’s not a whore. She probably just spends a lot of time meeting the guy in the same hotels you might take a hired whore to.
Some people just don’t care. Some are dilusional retards who actually do believe he’s about to leave his wife. Sometimes peple are in miserable relationships. Sometimes they’re just pathetic losers who need the validation that comes from sleeping with random people.
The important thing is I don’t care so I generally ask my friends to keep their Jerry Springer reality TV romantic drama to themselves.
[/QUOTE]
If you don’t care, why are you opening the thread anyway, and then posting your opinion? Seems slightly contradictory to me.
Back to the OP. If you wish, then phrase it as others have suggested, and then let it go. I’m sure she can make up her own mind. Doing more than that makes you seem like the workplace tv evangelist. Or SDMB evangelist, for that matter.
[QUOTE=FairyChatMom]
I, for one, am occasionally extremely dense about some aspects of other people’s lives. I tend to accept folks at face value unless it’s screamingly obvious otherwise, so in the OP situation, I’d be grateful for the marital status information. In fact, there were a couple of occasions in my very naive youth when I wish I’d *had * that information.
I don’t see the harm in mentioning it - “You are aware he’s married, aren’t you?” or “Hmmm, I thought he was married??” or “Gee, I didn’t know he and his wife broke up.”
[/QUOTE]
…or, “gee, I didn’t know his wife allowed him to date!”
See that mark on my teeth? Yeah, that’s from me biting the bullet and deciding that I had to say something. It took a while for the right situation to arise where we were walking close to each other and nobody else was around so I asked pretty bluntly. “So, you’re dating This Guy. I really hate to burst your bubble, but as your friend I have to ask; do you know that he’s married?”
Her answer is that he’s in the process of getting divorced and have seperated a month or so ago, but that she appreciated me looking out for her. Apparently he and his wife have “Irreconcilable Differences”. :rolleyes:
The story that others in the know state is that those differences boil down to the fact that his penis seems to accidentally keep jumping out of his pants and screwing anything that will hold still long enough, but some knowlidge one can keep to one’s self. I’ve done all the snitching I care to on this one.
You did the right thing, and I agree that you’ve done all that you should. Even assuming that he and his wife are actually separated (which, frankly I don’t, but whatever), a guy who’s one month out of his marriage isn’t exactly promising long-term material anyway, so assuming (somewhat more safely) that she’s a reasonable, grownup type person, there’s an excellent chance that she’s not looking at this as anything but a fling. And even if that’s *not * the case, her emotional health isn’t really your responsibility.
[QUOTE=FourPaws]
If you don’t care, why are you opening the thread anyway, and then posting your opinion? Seems slightly contradictory to me.
Back to the OP. If you wish, then phrase it as others have suggested, and then let it go. I’m sure she can make up her own mind. Doing more than that makes you seem like the workplace tv evangelist. Or SDMB evangelist, for that matter.
[/QUOTE]
Who are you? The Contradiction Police? I didn’t open the thread.
And the point is I don’t want people with affairs coming to me for advice about their affairs or even to discuss them. It puts me in an awkward position where I have to either lie or cover up for someone and I’d just assume not be part of their web of deception.
Basically all you have to say is “oh…I thought he was married” and that’s that. The rest is none of your business.
I think you did the right thing. You gave her the information you thought she should have, and now the rest is up to her and him. From this point onward, there is nothing more you can really do about it. If he’s a known philanderer, unfortunately, sadness will result for more than one person, but you’ve done your part to point out the warning sign. She’s got to decide whether or not to continue driving down the road.
I’d be very surprised if he was really divorcing, but stranger things have been known to happen.
[QUOTE=Cluricaun]
Her answer is that he’s in the process of getting divorced and have seperated a month or so ago, but that she appreciated me looking out for her. Apparently he and his wife have “Irreconcilable Differences”. :rolleyes:
[/QUOTE]
Ha. I was going to tell you she’d answer something like this. She may be dumb and deluded, or maybe he’s just a good lay, but he’s the only one who knows if he’s lying or not.
Cocksmith? Really? I’ve always hated the player/whore double-standard, but that sounds downright regal, dammit.
[QUOTE=Cat Fight]
Cocksmith? Really? I’ve always hated the player/whore double-standard, but that sounds downright regal, dammit.
[/QUOTE]
Really? I’ve never actually heard that used as a term before, I invented it for my intents and purposes while composing this thread. It’s a tider package (ba dum dum) than cockwielder or any of the other terms that came (really folks, I’ll be here all week) to mind.
Maybe it is a real term, but as far as I know I made it up. :o
[QUOTE=Cluricaun]
Really? I’ve never actually heard that used as a term before, I invented it for my intents and purposes while composing this thread. It’s a tider package (ba dum dum) than cockwielder or any of the other terms that came (really folks, I’ll be here all week) to mind.
Maybe it is a real term, but as far as I know I made it up. :o
[/QUOTE]
I like it too. My dad always says “swordsman” but I find that to be kind of scary.
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima]
You didn’t make it up. In Wedding Crashers, Vince Vaughn’s character yells out, “I’m sorry. Okay, I’m not sorry. I’M A COCKSMITH, OKAY?!”
Meaning it was probably around even before the movie, actually.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Cluricaun]
It took a while for the right situation to arise where we were walking close to each other and nobody else was around so I asked pretty bluntly. “So, you’re dating This Guy. I really hate to burst your bubble, but as your friend I have to ask; do you know that he’s married?”
Her answer is that he’s in the process of getting divorced and have seperated a month or so ago, but that she appreciated me looking out for her. Apparently he and his wife have “Irreconcilable Differences”. :rolleyes:
[/QUOTE]
You’ve done all you can. You’ve warned her. There’s nothing more you can do. Some people will insist on peeing on the electric fence themselves.
[QUOTE=Cluricaun]
See that mark on my teeth? Yeah, that’s from me biting the bullet and deciding that I had to say something. It took a while for the right situation to arise where we were walking close to each other and nobody else was around so I asked pretty bluntly. “So, you’re dating This Guy. I really hate to burst your bubble, but as your friend I have to ask; do you know that he’s married?”
Her answer is that he’s in the process of getting divorced and have seperated a month or so ago, but that she appreciated me looking out for her. Apparently he and his wife have “Irreconcilable Differences”. :rolleyes:
The story that others in the know state is that those differences boil down to the fact that his penis seems to accidentally keep jumping out of his pants and screwing anything that will hold still long enough, but some knowlidge one can keep to one’s self. I’ve done all the snitching I care to on this one.
[/QUOTE]
Well, I guess that’s all you can do. He sounds like the last person in the world she needs to be dating, but who knows what she’s looking for? Maybe a highly questionable, possibly-one-month-out-of-his-marriage-because-he-couldn’t-keep-it-in-his-pants guy is perfect for her. Maybe she’s recently divorced because of HER screwing around. Maybe they’re made for each other. Best of luck to both of them.
[QUOTE=Telperien]
I do like the term “cocksmith,” although at first reading, I thought it meant he made dildos.
[/QUOTE]
Like Uncommon Sense I thought it would have to be a term for a woman (or perhaps a gay man) owing to the exchange at the beginning of that Stephen King fantasy novel, Dragon something or other, where the king tells his new bride that she has the forge for his iron… but I guess a guy can forge his own iron
I’m glad the OP asked if she knew. Being me, I probably would have immediately blurted out “when did he and [wife] break up?” before thinking it through.
