…when you tinkle, be a sweetie, wipe the seatie.
And if you’re male, lift the damn seat up before urination.
That is all.
The other side is: when you’re done, put the damned seat back up.
Why can’t women ever learn this?
Yeah, but it doesn’t rhyme. Try this:
When you’re forced to enter the stall
Just after the act, do recall
When you urinate
Don’t be an ingrate
Lest your ass be kicked fast to Nepal.
Of course, I leave it to you to try to engrave on bathroom walls.
There’s always the classic one from store bathrooms.
“We aim to please. You aim too, please.”
My favorite:
In case of aerial attack, hide here. It hasn’t been hit yet.
Well I’m not exactly complaing about leaving the seat up. I hate when men pee while the seat is down. Pee gets all over the seat and it is nasty. I don’t mind if the seat is left up, so much as pee all over the seat. Nasty nasty men.
Which is why I recommend putting both the seat and lid down.
Then everyone get to go through the process of putting the lid and/or seat up… and can get bitched at if they forget to put the seat and lid back down.
My sister’s a good one for pissing all over the toilet seat.
Even in the house.
She’s gotta be hovering…but why would you hover IN YOUR OWN HOUSE?
Semi-related:
I saw a sign advertised in one of those gift catalogs (I think it was Harriet Carter). It’s for people who have their own swimming pools. The sign read: “Welcome to our ool. Notice there’s no “P” in it. Please keep it that way.”
My aunt had one that said:
We don’t swim in your toilet
So please don’t pee in our pool
Exgineer, I have the opposite problem; My wife always forgets to put the lid back down despite having a dog and toddler who would love to play in the bowl.
Yick.
I thought th is girl I know was weird for hovering in her parents’ house, but in your own home? Now that is strange. I always have a container fo clorox wipes on the tank when she comes over so she can wipe the seat down before she uses it.
I also have been known to carry around those lil disinfectant wipes with me for public restrooms.
A verse from decades ago:
“Be like Dad
Not like Sis
Lift the lid
When you piss”
Here I sit,
broken hearted.
Tried to shit,
but only farted.
I’m pretty sure I saw one that said
Don’t throw cigarette ends in our toilets
and we won’t shit in your ashtray.
Seen at a local hot dog place:
Please don’t throw cigarette butts in the urinal–it makes them soggy and hard to light.
Here’s a slight tangent for those using porta-potties this summer:
If you close the lid on this little seat
when you’re completely through,
the next one in could breathe fresh air
(that next one might be you).
Please don’t be
so down at heart.
One day you’ll shit
when you thought you’d fart.
Aw, ick. Sheesh.
You’re in a hurry,
You’re in a rush,
But before you leave
Why don’t you flush?