"If you think about it..." "oh just GTF out of here"

[DianaG]

@featherlou

Now I’m feeling insecure - I consider myself a very good reader, and I am just completely not interested in wading through the OP (even your thoughtful rendition, Aholibah). Maybe it’s just too long. Ooh, shiny!

I’m with you, featherlou. I’m a voracious reader, and I didn’t even get three *sentences * in before my brain just shut down. It was the combination of bewilderment, boredom, and the fact that after ten scroll clicks, I still couldn’t see the end of it!!!

[astro]

@Giraffe

Insecure aging engineer grievously insulted by young college grad using figure of speech deemed not sufficiently deferential. Film at 11.

On the plus side, it’s nice to see Wally from the Dilbert strips is alive and well.

No… I don’t think this is an arrogant engineer problem, even arrogant engineers don’t become utterly unglued by common conversational bridge phrases, this is an emotionally unstable engineer problem who thinks his kung-fu is being dissed, and I don’t know if there’s a fix for that.

So in the name of all that is untainted by your gross crassness why oh why do you feel the need to call everybody a fuckwit with 3 mentions in dispatches and a bar with that one little phrase “if you think about it”.

[Colibri]

@Polycarp

Much vitriol, little conveyance of the meaning behind it. Credit for the imagery, though: Who else has ever invoked precambrian molluscs (and sabretoothed ones at that!)? I give it about a 3.5

Certainly, there is a lot of bizarre imagery there, but most of it doesn’t really hang together (if you think about it).

a precambrian mollusc rolling frigging eyeballs skywards (if it had eyes, well ok large sabre teeth then)

A precambrian mollusk rolling frigging large sabre teeth skyward?

a terminal syphilitic monkey with the mental agility equivalence of a 3 legged donkey with a hard on strapped down to its hind leg

I not sure I would be willing to bet which of those two had a greater mental agility equivalence.

others of my ilk are so closely related to decapitated reptiles

This one just makes me wonder what the OP’s “ilk” might happen to be.

mental capabilities, donkeys erections, amputated limbs and duct tape?

Something of a mixed bag of metaphors there.

If you want to call someone a rectocrainially inverted lobotomized ferret

The juxtaposition of “ferret,” the epitome of energy and cleverness, with “rectocranially inverted” and “lobotomized” seems to me to be inapt. “Three-toed tree-sloth,” “wombat,” of “sea slug” would better convey an appropriate level of imbecility.

I swear I will make a paper mache 10 inch dildo out of a shredded copy of the field engineering design manual and force you to deep throat it until you gag and expire on the knowledge contained within.

The thought that comes to mind here is, would a dildo made out of papier-mâché hold up long enough for that?

goat abusing, bile felching rectal mucus lining of a sales manager say in a discussion with 3 client experts?

How does a rectal mucus lining abuse a goat? And beyond that, how does a rectal mucus lining felch bile?

and what does the spongiformed enchepelitic brained rats woody say to them

The lack of punctuation here produces some confusion as to whether the spongiform-encephalitic brain is supposed to belong to the rat, or to the rat’s woody.

If it would please the court of the pit, I request admission for the phrase and those that use it, may they be sodomized by rabid goats for eternity. That or I better shuffle of to MPSIMS

I would suggest that the OP definitely needs to think about it a bit more.

[cuauhtemoc]

@kevegan

Mind you, responding to someone you’re not listening to is always that much more fun.

Thanks, I’d love an omelette right now!

[Smeghead]

@cuauhtemoc

Thanks, I’d love an omelette right now!

But then who will take care of resurfacing the parking lot?

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

@Smeghead

But then who will take care of resurfacing the parking lot?

No, I don’t think that color looks good on you. Do they have it in puce?

[Colibri]

@EddyTeddyFreddy

No, I don’t think that color looks good on you. Do they have it in puce?

Puce! You can’t handle the puce!

[Precambrianmollusc]

@Colibri

Puce! You can’t handle the puce!

why not, I’m wearing sterile gloves?

[EddyTeddyFreddy]

@NaturalBlondChap

why not, I’m wearing sterile gloves?

Oh, so it’s the velvet fist in the iron glove this time, eh?

[rainwalker78]

@DianaG

Did you guys actually read that whole thing?

It was painful just to scroll past it.

[FordPrefect]

It’s a code!

the first one to break it will know something something… I think it may be clues to find a treasure map!

[BMalion]

We are through the looking glass! Black is white, and white is a sabre-toothed mollusc.

[dnooman]

@fetus

Well, OK, I guess I get that, but…WTF? Why would he ask Schroedinger’s cat about his building plan? That sounds like a really awkward and unwieldy line even if it did make sense.

IIRC, the engineer’s plans asked for two parts to occupy the same space. At the time, I thought it was funny for the guy to suggest that the guy ask a cat for advice. I didn’t get it then, and I still don’t. Boy did that guy’s face turn red though.

[Lazlo]

@dnooman

I once saw an engineer use either that phrase, or one very similar, when talking to the machinist milling his part. The look of “I’m going to pull your pancreas through your nostrils” coming from the machinist was priceless. He told the engineer, and I’m paraphrasing here, “You’re a smart guy, maybe you heard of this other smart guy with a cat. He said something about not knowing where exactly his cat was. Your design makes me think you should find his cat, then ask it what to do. [sub]Dumbass[/sub]”

I guess his tolerances were way off, and his notes contradicted his specified dimensions.

Yeah, I’ve seen engineers who think they know more than a machinist. The last few parts I designed had the following note: “Tolerances left to machinist’s discretion.” I’ve also asked their advice on designs.

Our machinists loved me.