If you wanted to be a god...

Hello, I’m JasonG. You may remember me from such posts as 2049: The Gold Rush of Mars and Why were videos made before MTV?.

Let’s assume you have a time machine.

Scorning such noble endeavors as saving JFK or putting Mrs. O’Leary’s lantern on a high shelf, you decide to go back in time and be worshipped as a prophet and visionary.

The questions are:

What time period do you go to? It has to be far enough back that the inhabitants will have no knowledge or explanation of what you bring, do or say, and with poor mass communications so that you don’t alert authorities who might reveal your ruse.

And, what do you bring? How do you impress, shock, scare and amaze the simple past-timers? An almanac to predict eclipses? A Palm Pilot? A flashlight?

Your aim is to set up shop in some village, tribe or town, and be hailed as a seer, healer or even a wizard. You will have to do no work, as the happy (or frightened) villagers will do everything for you. You’ll have whatever food you want, sexual partners as you desire them – the past-timers might even build you a palace.

We assume you’d have to go back at least 100 years (unless you went to an isolated region of Russia or somesuch). We’re not talking about predicting Super Bowls, which might make you rich, but lacks the whole unlimited-worship angle.

So, what time period do you go to, and what do you bring? We’ll assume your time machine is as big as a VW Beetle.

Enjoy the awe!

Easy, id bring textbooks of star charts, how to build stuff, physics, basic medicine, metallurgy,weapons etc,a solar calculater, a watch,a supply of modern medicines that are now commonly used but that couldnt easily be replicated in the past, A pistol and a rifle or two and the ammo for it. A case of sour cream and onion potato chips.Perhaps a laptop with a few extra batteries or maybe a generater and fuel for it for electricity to run the computer.A World map. Location and timewise id go back 100 years and id settle in London or somewhere in Europe or even still here in the USA that had wealth and had a society that had more progressive views to new ideas. I dont need that tribal worship god stuff. Id be happy to be considered the smartest guy on the Planet in a relativly modern society with the fame and $ that would naturally accompany such a position.

Having a background in physics, let me begin by acknowledging the fact that time travel violates some fairly strict laws that exist in four dimensional space.

Having said that, I have often wondered what it would be like to go back, armed with the benefit of an education in today’s day and age, to meet and converse with the great minds of earlier times. People like Galileo, Newton, Kepler, Mendel, etc. The exact sort of people that, once it was rationally explained, could accept the fact that I hail from the future. Imagine the questions they would ask, or better still, the insights they might offer once they had been brought up to speed…

Failing that, I suppose I would go back to the late 1700s and start inventing stuff. :wink:


I’d go back to the 1950’s and tell my folks to buy:

[ul][li]IBM[/li][li]Microsoft[/li][li]Wal-Mart[/li]and to bet on Joe Namath in the Super Bowl.[/ul]

Oh and on the laptop is a few Gigs of my favorite music. And i want a laptop compatible walkman for portability, the smartest man in the world is always on the move!

Kniz …OP states… go at least 100 years back and NOT predicting superbowls or what i interpret as being the same thing ,stock prices of stuff. But other than that nice list.

[ul]:o [sup]So, can I tell Lincoln the play stinks?[/sup][/ul]

I realize the OP goes specifically to being a God or wizard. I just can’t see me doing that. All you have to do is take back a flame-thrower and some refills and you’re the local dragon whose whims must be placated with virgins and crops and the lot.

I like the idea of going back to about 1630 and talking to Kepler. I could at least talk him out of the whole platonic solid spacing shit-hole he was trying to dig. And then running down to Pisa to talk to Galileo and pushing him over the differential edge. At least he got laid and Newton didn’t!

Then, in spite of his virginity, I run up to Trinity and straighten out that lunatic Brit. It would all have to be fun.

Aside from stuff like books on chemistry,medicine, and so on, electronic listening devices would go a long way towards a reputation of being all seeing.

Regardless of when and where, make sure you get all your vaccinations prior to the trip. Would hate to be the local god who made a great first impression only to succumb to to plague/tetnus/smallpox/etc. That’d be a bummer.

What about the possibility of spreading those diseases to people without an immunity to them?

If I can go back in time (avoiding the obvious physical impossibility of it all) I would want a trans-temporal broadband internet connection, an indestructible laptop and an ability to buy stuff online and be sent to me. I would like to travel from Medieval Europe to the Pacific Islands fast. Hawaiian nookie is always cool especially if your a god. Would like to visit ancient Japan and try to get authentic katana swords. I’d skip africa and leave china to marco polo.

I would also go in search of Jesus Christ. That would be great to capture his life on video.

hmmm… The Gospel according to X~Slayer… nice ring to that.

If I had a time machine, I’d travel into the distant future to see what sort of cool stuff they’ll have. Then I’d bring it back with me and convince all of you in the early 21st Century that I’m God.

Hey this would be fun…

I would travel back to ancient Pompeii(sp) and treat them to a 50 Megawatt Metallica Concert. I would time it for the Volcano to go off at the end of the concert. “You guys were great! Pompeii Rocks! Well, we gotta be going now…”

Ok, maybe that’s not very nice, but it’s what Bill & Ted would do.

Mayor, the OP says you can only go back in time. If i could go forward in time, screw the 21st century im NEVER commin back. Id just keep going fast forward till things got a little too weird for me <like we all have evolved into brains in jars or something> then Back up a few thousand years from there, get out and enjoy the scenery.

I would prolly gemmy back ent the 2003 and rag a boll or trew…

Oh, fluck, who left the trans-actuator on?

Last edited by Shalmanese on 12th July 2038 at 11:32 PM

Hey! How did he edit his post?

Or am I being wooshed?
I would journey to the Mississippi vally around 1100ad, and start my work. First I release smallpox, the flu, measles and all the other Euro diseases. Then I go into hiding for a few years, and wait for the plauge to finish it’s work.

Then I show up with modern sterile technique and a head full of first aid, and save the day.

I spend the rest of my life bring the Native Americans, at least one group, as close to parity with Europe as I can. Would make things much more fun.