…would you want him/her to resign? Let’s say they were passing you over for the choice assignments that would increase your bonus and giving them to your co-worker. Always taking the co-worker on exotic work boondoggles.
You don’t necessarily feel that your job is being threatened but you probably won’t get that raise or extra bonus this year, because it’s going to go to “you-know-who”.
As long as you keep quiet about it, it will continue indefinitely. Do you say something to his/her boss about the inappropriate relationship?
I have had a few bosses who were screwing around on their wives and they were lucky that I wasn’t a real d*ck and dropped a dime on them. However, if it appeared as if I was getting screwed over on a promotion due to his/her “extra-ciriccular activities”, someone in HR or corporate might receive a detailed anonymous email.
I have been there several times with the same boss but it had no affect on my work so I ignored it. If it would have been affecting me I would have approached him directly and if I got no response go over his head.
I would follow the corporate reporting structure for inappropriate workplace behavior and sexual harassment. I would expect there to be an investigation, and if it was really happening and in any way verifiable, to see the boss fired/disappeared. I would expect that nothing would happen to the co-worker except that the plum assignments would no longer be coming his/her way.
This happened in a department tangential to mine. I was not the one to report it, however. The co-worker also left shortly after, but that was her decision, possibly due to a guilty conscience.
On preview: the first two responses are exactly what our training on this matter (which we have to take every year) tells us not to do.
Roddy
This happened to a friend of mine. He went to HR and told them about it.
Guess who wound up losing his job? And guess what girl got “conveniently” transferred to another department?
So no, I’d keep my mouth shut and see if I can’t find work in another department or another employer entirely.
If it’s impacting you, you should speak up to HR. The biggest blow-up I saw over this was when the woman sleeping with her boss’ boss. Because of this, her boss let her get away with murder (mostly long lunches with his boss, from which they either never returned or came back intoxicated). One of her co-workers contacted HR, who basically confirmed what was going on and terminated both of them.
I would absolutely be on the phone to HR with whatever documentation I had. We get a lot of sexual harassment training, and this would be completely unacceptable.
I have never contacted HR about relationship stuff (I’m completely out of the loop – I usually hear about it when people get married or leave the company). But I have reported someone for racist/sexist remarks, which were actually made in the context of bitching about the required diversity training. I don’t know if he was disciplined – he was around for a few years afterward. But now he is gone, and I’m still here, so there’s that.
The times I have seen it happen, it always eventually became so obvious that HR and the boss’s boss could not credibly have claimed not to have known, yet they ignored it. Don’t complain or you will be the one fired.
This is why I would only have a serious conversation with people who I know I can trust as the omnipresence of cell phones as surreptitious recording devices mean that an off work conversation might be preserved for posterity.
For about 5 years after I started, we had the most destructive Christmas parties in the world at my company - we spent the next six months dealing with fall-out like divorces, people going into rehab or other types of counseling (some chick supposedly gave 8 guys blowjobs), or getting fired. Finally they figured out to stop serving alcohol, which meant attendance dropped to nil, which led to the usual “cake in the conference room” parties that were harmless.
An affair with no job consequences? I’d be quiet. As described in the OP, though – I’d document what I knew, save my last couple year’s ratings and reviews to a file, then call HR. If I was terminated for it, I’d find the nearest attorney who wanted to make a little money on the easiest wrongful termination suit ever filed.
If it’s just 2 people having an affair, none of my business.
If I feel that the boss is screwing me over by favoring the person they’re screwing with, then I say something to the boss about that. The work allocation, not the affair.
If I think the company money is being misused then I have a decision to make about reporting or not.
The other option if if the boss has a really hot wife, there might be a chance for her to take a little revenge by having an affair of her own. (nudge nudge, wink wink)
This is one of those cases where I’m glad I work for a company that is on the level with these kinds of things.
For those of you who don’t feel safe reporting something like this, I would consult a good lawyer and start preparing to sue the shit out of them. Document, report following the rules, and then if nothing happens, or if something happens to you, lower the boom. There is no jurisdiction in this country where a company can get away with this kind of behavior.