Given the personal freedoms that they have given me from an early age, this is really hard to imagine.
I think even if they were in a time of arranged marriages, they would have sneakily introduced me to the matches a few times first to make sure I got along with them and then given me the decision.
(Though, they are both very good judges of character and the guys they would introduce would likely be some good ones, so, I guess it’s a yes.)
My parents wouldn’t have chosen my late husband for me since they thought I was in for a world of heartache. They were both right (there was a lot of heartache) and wrong (it was worth it). They would not have chosen my fiance but only because he is from the other side of the country from where I was. Otherwise, I could see my parents choosing him.
Of course, if they had, I’d probably have to be all contrary and not like him.
Let’s see. Ideally my parents would have married me to a Korean-American Catholic man of a well-educated background and on a stable and respectable career path. As for his personality, I dunno. My mom definitely knows me better than my dad, so I think I could trust her to pick someone that in theory I’d get along with. Whether they would have managed to pick someone I’d be attracted to is another question.
Actually, upon reflection (like raspberry hunter) I know EXACTLY who they would have picked out for me - a family friend (my godmother’s son) who is my age, Korean-American, Catholic, and a lawyer. He’s a funny and kind guy and as a kid I used to have a huge crush on him. I dunno how we would have fared in a marriage though. All right, I suppose.
I trust my parents would have found someone kind, responsible and probably smart. Unfortunately, my mother would have picked out a Catholic, never mind that I’m now atheist. Not sure about the personality part - they’ve liked most of my boyfriends and I think they’d find someone I could tolerate but I don’t think they know me well enough to find someone I was actually attracted to.
That’s probably a win in cultures that practice arranged marriage, though not good enough here by a long shot.