Isidore (Ringneck Parrot): Vandal or Head of Food Bank. When he’s not destroying stuff he’s good at asking for charitable donations of food.
Azazel (Ringneck Parrot): Concentration Camp Guard or High School Mean Girl.
Sadie (Cockatiel): Crazy Lady Next Door
Gay Guy (Budgie): Director of Camp for Developmentally Disabled Kids. He always follows the cockatiels around and makes sure they’re okay.
DeeDee and Zoom (Lovebirds): Records Management. They shred papers all day long.
Dolly would like to be a water or snow rescue person. She’d be especially good if what she had to rescue was tennis balls.
I’d share some pics of her in the snow or water but Flickr is being stupid right now.
Our guinea pigs would be the 20-something “failure to launch” kids who live in the basement, and want nothing of the parents except food, toys, and a place to live, and to be left alone the rest of the time.
The two beagles, Feynman and Higgs: Garbage collectors. Garbage sorters. Garbage eaters.
Heh. Garbage professionals.
My cat has a profession. He is our “Official amasador and greeter”.
Our cat would be a mattress tester, or work in cat food quality control.
My cat, Feather, was a professional athlete (cats are usually good jumpers - she was a FANTASTIC jumper). She’s retired now; just lies around the house and eats everything she can find.
My husband’s cat, Max, would be a controversial talk show host - she has A LOT to say, and usually at high volume. And the swearing - whoo!
Prostitute with a heart of gold
On disability, morbidly obese, sitting on the sofa eating junk food and watching paternity tests on Maury
Investment banker
Entrepreneur who is amassing a fortune
My dog would be a highly ranked tennis professional.
My female cat would be a pearl-wearing punk singer.
My male cat would be president.
My cat Napoleon is very talkative and very LOUD. I am thinking TV news “reporter”, TMZ employee, or shock jock radio personality.
Captain would be that mentally slow kid who’s the best worker at Burger King.
LOL
Our cat George, who passed away in 2007, was dumb but very friendly. He’d have been a WalMart greeter.
My family’s cat is pretty, kind of dumb, pretends to be classy and aloof but is really desperate for attention and very temperamental. A friend of mine suggested that she’d fit right in as a stripper.
(Sorry, no pics on hand.)
Let’s see…
Maggie the standard poodle - Pro football cheerleader (Go Team!)
Jake the doberman - schoolyard bully who isn’t has tough as he seems (Karofsky from Glee)
Andy the german shepard - Warehouse worker (Fetch the toy, fetch the toy, fetch the toy)
Wylie the german shepard - Suckup teacher’s pet
Sophie the giant schnauzer - Office clown that people still mysterious like
Pat the english setter - VA home resident, reliving his heyday and snapping at the orderlies
Papi the siamese - Dog trainer. Dislikes cats.
Sabrina the siamese - Some kind of pink-collar office worker who raids the communal candy bowl
Spike the grey DSH - Soldier of fortune
Nick the B&W DSH - Rat patrol, although would probably let the rodents live if they’d rub his belly
StG
Mojo the retired police K9: kindergarten teacher or pediatric nurse or nanny. Loves kids, very protective, plenty of energy and creativity. (He taught himself to get in and out of the house, the patrol car, etc. But he only does it if ordered. I could put a steak on the floor and he wouldn’t eat until invited.)
Jojo: active K9, Belgian malinoise. Crazy active, intense as heck, loves to work - especially bite work, even though he’s not mean. He’d be in some high-risk adrenaline rush job, like firefighting, paratrooper, special forces. He craves discipline and structure, but still wants something exciting to do.
Sebastian the Pyrenees would likely be one of those guys who lives in Mom’s basement until he’s 40. He’s pretty useless, too smart for his own good, and lazy until he thinks there’s food in the offing. But he’s patient with his 2-legged siblings, and protective of all of his people, and very, very handsome, so we’re resigned to having a freeloader around for a few years… (Okay, he earns some of his kibble by virtue of his security detail. No one with any sense is gonna mess with our home if they hear him bark, and he LOOKS really intimidating. I don’t know what he’d actually do if someone tried to bother his people, but I don’t think it would be pleasant.)
Oh, and DaNiece’s two cats: felons. Masterminds of some crime scheme. Think Fagin from Oliver Twist.
She’d be pretty and well-kept.
Or she would spend her time killing rodents with her mouth.
Boris the cat would be some kind of scientist-either an engineer or a nuclear physicist. He’d be the geek in the lab inventing a better mousetrap ;). I think his IQ may be higher than mine. He’s taken the filter out of the fan above the stove twice and at various times I’ve caught him carrying around duct tape and screws.
Natasha would definitely be a local television news reporter. She has to report on everything that happened especially when Boris is bad. She also knows how to look pretty for the cameras.
I am lovin’ these! Makes me smile to get a feel for the personalities of the Doper Pets… Keep ‘em comin’!
I’m pretty sure my cat would be on welfare.
