My daughters are less than two years apart in age, which accelerated the age at which they could use the restroom without me. It seemed safer when both were together. I would still loiter suspiciously outside, attempting to be within hearing.
Before that: family restroom. If no family restroom, I took them into the men’s room. As others here have said, going into the women’s room never crossed my mind for an instant.
At 5 my daughter went to the women’s room by herself. If I even suggested accompanying her, I’d get, “Daddy, I’m not a baby”. When she was 3 and 4 I would take her to the men’s.
I’m pretty certain the only time I’ve set foot in a women’s restroom was by pure accident. We were in St Martin on the Dutch side and I really had to pee. I saw two doors with signs (in Dutch) and walked into the one I thought was the men’s. I stood there for a few seconds, looking for a urinal. A woman walked out of a stall and started laughing about the shocked look on my face.
I never even thought of taking my daughter to the women’s room. Not from fear of anything, but practically speaking women’s rooms are a lot more crowded than men’s rooms. If there is a line out the door, as is often the case in places like theaters or airports, asking everyone to leave doesn’t work.
I’ve been going for about 65 years and haven’t seen any either. Some urinals are designed so you could if you looked, but it’s easy not to look. And we’re talking stalls here, so not much chance of a problem.
If:
a) kid isn’t comfortable being on her own; and
b) there is no unisex/family restroom
then I would take her into the men’s restroom without a second thought.
Yeah, I had something like this happen once. I was in an unfamiliar building and moments away from peeing my pants, and rounded a corner and saw the “MEN” door. Nobody was in there, but I got some pretty damn fishy looks from somebody when I came back out. Turns out the door frame was hiding the “WO…” because of the way I came around the corner. No scandal or prison that time.
At one of my company’s buildings, there was a men’s room that was finished in pink and had a menstrual products dispenser on the wall. I never understood why, but supposed it had probably been redesignated because of some construction change.
It never occurred to me to worry about it. In fact I can’t even remember what I did normally.
(I was in that situation many times, apparently it didn’t make much of an impression)
Whichever was less crowded?
When i visited Japan i was amused to see that large public ladies rooms all had an adorable little urinal, designed to be used by adorable little people who were less than 3’ tall.
I walked into a men’s room by mistake, once. It was in a hotel, and there was no door, just a bent corridor. And i don’t know whether i got confused between right and left or it was the mirror image of another set. Anyway, confident that the ladies room was on the left, i walked in and saw a bunch of men and some urinals.
Oops
I mostly remember encountering the “trough” primarily at older sports venues, like RFK Stadium in DC or old Memorial Stadium in Baltimore. Haven’t seen one in many years.
I have had men ask me to escort their daughter to the women’s room on two occasions. Both times, when daughter was done, we found Dad right outside the door waiting to pounce should something go wrong. I am very comfortable with this.
By age 5, a girl knows how to go by herself and to wash her hands. She just may be shy in a public place. I think I’m there to make sure she doesn’t dawdle, use up all the soap, and to make sure she has toilet paper in her stall or hold her jacket. And maybe hold her up to the sink to wash her hands.
If I encounter a guy in the women’s room helping his daughter, I basically ignore it because each stall usually has a door. In my country, anyway.
From the time my daughter was out of diapers (slightly less than 3) until she refused accompaniment at 5, I took her to the men’s bathroom every place we went that had one.
She was fascinated by bathrooms. We often went into an empty bathroom and she looked around like she was in a historical place. Probably 75% of the time she’d look around for a minute, then say she didn’t have to go.
She also potty trained literally overnight when told if she went on the toilet she could wear “pretty panties”.
In the spirit of the season:
I like that song!
puzzlegalYour friendly neighborhood journeymod
These days, i look for the unisex bathroom. They are getting more common. I notice my supermarket just has two stalls, labeled “restroom” now, instead of a men’s room and a women’s room. (That’s a recent change.) I see the same at restaurants. And airports always have a “family and handicapped” bathroom these days, which isn’t restricted by gender.
Which kills me. Years ago, probably 15 years ago, my mother was flying with my Dad, who had Alzheimer’s. She asked me to scope out the bathroom situation for her. So they were flying thru Atlanta. I called Hartsfield. I was bounced from clerk to clerk and finally to a woman who just laughed at me. “Use the Men’s room!” No, My Dad needs assistance. “Use the Ladies!” No, the women would not like to see an adult male in the ladies room. " Well stay home, this is bullshit!" And she laughed uproariously! I mad a lot of calls and sent a lot of emails after that.
I thought that had happened to me recently in NYC at MOMA. My first thought was that the washroom was unusual, as the doors went all the way to the floor (and we had recently watched a Seinfeld where George proposed that.) After I was done, I saw a coin-operated machine on the wall. I’m thinking, “A classy joint like this sells condoms?!” But getting closer, I saw it offered feminine hygiene products. I scurried out of there, but when I looked at the sign, it said “MEN” but another plaque said something about, “We understand not all patrons identify as binary. Please use the restroom you are most comfortable with.” First time I encountered that.
I’ve occasionally caught a glimpse of a penis while a man’s zipping up, or doing that little hip jerk we do to pull everything back into the trousers; but “don’t look” is a pretty well-established part of men’s room culture. I don’t have kids myself, but I doubt any girl young enough to require her father’s assistance in the restroom would see anything that might traumatize her (although she might ask Daddy why the men are standing in front of the white things on the wall).
I have two sets of data that supports that- one of my jobs as the “night watchman” was to check the bathrooms after the janitors got done, to make sure they didn’t skip. Once in a while, I got there first. The womens was always nastier than the mens.
Then as a volunteer, much later in life, I helped to clean the restrooms late a nite. Again, same thing.
Yeah, I do not get the OP’s question. At five, kids should be able to go to the bathroom by themselves. After all, do they not do so at school? Now, yes, toddlers are different, of course. So WHY does the Dad have to go into the ladies with her?
I did have one time I had an issue with this- some dude brought his daughter in and asked us dudes to leave so his daughter could go without any strange men around. THAT pissed me off and I ignored him, but I was just about done anyway.
Yeah, just two rules- 1. wash your damn hands, 2. do not flush things that are not supposed to be flushed.
That seems like a dick move. Maybe, just maybe, he might give you warning in case your are uncomfortable stabbing in front of the urinal with a little girl looking curiously at what you are doing there. But “you must leave so my precious daughter can pee without your masculine corruption”? Blechh.
I was never one of them - but there are some parents who believe something terrible will happen if even an 8 year old goes into a public restroom with a parent waiting outside the door.
Yeah 5 was the number that popped into my head when I wrote the OP. I didn’t really give it much thought. I just meant young enough to need assistance.