Hey, speak for yourself.
What? :dubious: No, “I fart in your general direction!” 
I attacked you with a time machine. Five years ago.
Oh, very well. I will just order up something from ACME and get back to you.
wanders off to peruse the ACME catalog
How about the power… to move you?
guitar riff
I will tell you about my day at work and bore you to death within five minutes.
I’m sure it’s coming… Spiderman used two cans of beans further up the thread there…
:eek:
I have this one covered. I have a Jello filled moat surrounding my house carefully covered with styrofoam that looks just like grass. As soon as you step on it, you fall straight and get all disoriented. That is when the lights come on, the music starts and I whip off my clothes to reveal my wrestling costume (with a cape and gold jockstrap BTW). I will dive straight in and beat that ass in ways that you may find strangely erotic. I have never lost one of these contests, but, even if I did, I still win. That is the beauty of it. Producers will be on hand after the match for you to sign waivers for the footage to be broadcast nationwide.
It’s nice but it won’t kill a yak.
I’ll hurt your self=-esteem; I’ll hurt it real bad.
An old Hindi legend, a Monk in his cave meditating and about to attain Samadhi was attacked by a bandit who mercilessly cut the Monk’s head off. However, instead of blood the terrible Goddess Kali flew up out of the monk’s neck, killed the bandit and proceeded to lay waste the country for miles about. So be careful, maybe I’m not sleeping…
I’m still standing, brohams! What, you drunk or something? Your momma make you promise not to get your big-boy pants dirty? I don’t know what your problem is, but it’s time to step outside. How you plan to stop me now that I plan to straight-up slay the next 40 generations of your family? Hell, you wanna make it 80? Choose your weapon, Francis!
Well, the Super Turbo Mega thing I want is not eligible for ACME Prime shipping so … I might have to get really mean.
prepares the jacuzzi
The Orgazmorator (NSFW)
I argue logic paradoxes until you suffer a Godel Theorem mind crash:
“Umm… if you slay me, what 40 generations of descendants?”
You zonofabeech.
Sorry, I guess that was really shitty of me.
I can helicopter some stuff for ya…
I don’t think that will be necessary.
Theremin duel at dawn.