If you're going to fight me, you better come strong

[The_Second_Stone]

Puff the Magic Dragon

Douglas AC-47 Spooky

Most awesome weapons platform of all time.

[TruCelt]

I will use the power of hoodoo . And I’m about to get weird.

[Nametag]

Hoodoo? Hoodoo you think you’re foolin’?

[cochrane]

I fart in your general direction!

[Zeldar]

@Zeldar

What? :dubious: No, “I fart in your general direction!”

@cochrane

I fart in your general direction!

Hmmmm… So I’m on your Ignore List?

[TruCelt]

@Nametag

Hoodoo? Hoodoo you think you’re foolin’?

You remind me of a man . . .

[Knowed_Out]

I’ll talk about you anonymously on the Internet and make a twitter channel.

[Doctor_Jackson]

I will kiss you full on the lips. You can’t fight that feeling, in fact you will fight no more!

[Whiskey_Dickens]

Dances around with balled fists, alternating cowering and flailing

Swing first, bro! Quit playin’! Beat your ass, that’s right.

Sweats

[Chefguy]

Garlic breath at 17 inches will render you inoperable.

[Sunspace]

I will swear at you in Esperanto.

[Chefguy]

@cochrane

i fart in your general direction!

you. . .shall not. . .gas!!!

[eschereal]

My girlfriend. She will fuck you up, and you will never realize where it came from.

Then we can commiserate together.

[Precambrianmollusc]

sigh
he had such promise

<pulls leaver to open trap door above shark tank, heads off to much popcorn and watch the sharks in the tank get their snack>

[cochrane]

@Precambrianmollusc

sigh
he had such promise

<pulls leaver to open trap door above shark tank, heads off to much popcorn and watch the sharks in the tank get their snack>

Do the sharks have frickin’ laser beams on their heads?

[Magiver]

1 large paper clip
8 strands of human hair 26" long
distributor points from a 1972 Ford Pinto
a UHF TV tuner from a 1968 25" Magnavox console TV
4 batteries, any size

If you don’t piss me off you can eliminate any one item but you can’t change your mind.

[stui_magpie]

@Spiderman

Two cans of beans.

A flatulence platter. Bean salad with chilli and garlic, Hard boiled eggs, pickled onions, Kabana and some sauerkraut.
I completely disregard the UN conventions against chemical weapons. Boogly, I may require the assistance of your helicoptering to ensure that the noxious gasses don’t spread.

[Battle_Pope]

A Possible Sword:

Probability theory is at the very heart of the Possible Sword.

There is a crack, like static, and a hum in the air. Bellis cannot see Doul’s right arm clearly. It seems to shimmer, to vibrate. It is unstuck in time. Doul moves (dancing) and turns to face his attackers . . . His sword blossoms. It is fecund, it is brimming, it sheds echoes. Doul has a thousand right arms, slicing in a thousand directions . . . A hundred blades block every attack his enemies make, and countless more retaliate brutally. (p. 579/580)

With the Possible Sword, Uther Doul mines probability. When he swings the blade, it delivers every single strike it is possible for the sword to make, with Doul being able to chose the one most deadly to his opponent. In other words, Doul can land a fatal strike every single time he swings the sword – regardless of the skill of his opponent. Via this method, Doul can – and does – take on multiple enemies at once and reduces them to a pile of mincemeat in seconds. It’s terrifying.

The men before him are carved and lacerated with a palimpsest of monstrous wounds. Doul strikes, and blood and screams welter up from around him in unbelievable gouts . . . He moves past the men who have boarded his ship, and sends up a mist of their blood, leaving them dying, limbs and body parts skittering over the deck. His armour is red. (p.580)

• **The Scar (China Miéville) **

[Grestarian]

I cooperate with you 100 per cent, thereby epitomizing the zen
*If only one person is fighting, there is no actual conflict.
*I reinforce this by leaving.

–G!
(BTW: I have no descendants – that I’m aware of…):smack:

[LavenderBlue]

You’re the Grouchy Ladybug, aren’t you?