I baked you a cake!
Don’t spread? As in contain?!
SON YOUR POSTS ARE WRITING CHECKS MY SCROTUM CAN’T CASH!
^
Stop bitching and get that scrotum a swinging. 
I’m feeling somewhat nauseated.
Stay tuned for more of the Dynamic Duo in this weeks episode, ‘Blow hard, come strong’.
If you are lucky, I will only throw a feral cat at your face.
If I’m in a bad mood, I’ll get all pedantic in your face and discuss HP Lovecraft and his influence on fiction. After you pass out from boredom, I’ll drag your unconscious body into the kitty rescue room and close the door, leaving you to smell the UNCLEANED litter boxes. (They are usually cleaned twice a day…but just for you, I won’t clean them for TWO days.)
I bake you cookies and fold your laundry for you… on my way to killing you with kindness.
Bunch of pansies. The only one who’s man enough to shut their yapper and attempt anything beyond a feather-tickle is Wile E, who has dug deep into my psyche and launched a massive frothy turd with an intent to turn me into a jibbering fetus. But even that hasn’t worked and I will now chop his balls off to prevent any further generations of E’s from bothering me while I sit on this barstool and drink my Old Style pints.
So if none of you is cowboy enough to take me on, shut your sausage holes and get outta my face! But if you are cowboy enough, I’m currently accepting new applications for ass-whippings out in the alley.
For the record, diarrhea filled jacuzzis and stir fry cooked in sesame oil are especially effective in their attempts to cripple me. But if you utilize either of them, prepare to fucking bring it already!
Ha ha! Jokes on you, I don’t have any balls! 
men are constantly underestimating the power of pussy
and eunuchs!
Jokes on you- I’m planning to glue Boogly’s balls to your forehead and subsequently chop them off.
As long as they come off I don’t have a problem with that.
You know, you have a little trouble bringing it, too. I think you’re all talk. I mean how scared can we be of someone who calls himself “Happy”?
So it has come to this: paper cut to the head of your penis!
This is officially the most disturbing thread I have ever read on the Dope.
Of course it isn’t.
Hmm… maybe Happy is right. You may need to take that up a notch or two. hands xizor some lemon juice
I do hope you folks have had the pleasure of seeing Un Chien Andalou - Wikipedia which has some scenes readily available on YouTube but I’ll be damned if I’ll link to them.
Lemon juice is water-soluble, you need a nice, plump habanero, sliced open, so the pain will persist. Heck, you do not even need an open wound for that, there are a lot of nerve-endings in the head of a penis.
I actually had “hot pepper” in my post but I edited it out. I was just trying to get him thinking, I didn’t want to do all the work for him. 
Little do you clowns know you’re describing my normal bedtime routine, only I soak the hab in fucking gasoline for a few days.
Unless you nerds are ready to bring it full-on nuclear-style, stop harshing my buzz and go bother someone else. Hey man, I didn’t pick this fight, but believe me: I *will *end it. For you, and everyone standing within 200 feet of you, and their families, to the 80th generation, including livestock. So step off, bro, step off.