Because there’s a 0% chance she’d go? I wouldn’t want to go, either, so I can’t blame her for saying she’s too shy to work out in front of other people. I am too.
So, instead of refuting Oakminster’s claims or saying why you disagree with Oakminster’s, you chose to denigrate him and his point of view via some bizarre “yeah, but that’s typical of the SDMB” ad hominem. (Yeah, it’s not a real point of view that actual people have. It’s Doperland! Haw Haw! No real opinions there!)
Try this: Hey, friend. I have this fitness game. It’s fun, and I know you want to lose weight, so come over and we can do it together to see how you like it?
It’s free, honest, shows your concern, is direct…it beats spending some cash on something she won’t use. You can spend time with your buddy, and she won’t be embarrassed.
When I was morbidly obese, about 20 years ago, I was looking for something to do with my friends to lose weight. I didn’t need hints, or obviously insulting gifts, no matter how well meant. I needed a change in lifestyle. I had to do it alone, but, it would have happened much sooner had I had a friend with which to do it. If you get her involved in something fun, I don’t see how she can not utilize it.
Best wishes,
hh
As a chubster, I’d be delighted. Of course, I’d be straight to Game to trade it for something I could play sitting down whilst eating cake, and I’d be sure to tell you that.
Most people would probably be fucking furious though.
Do you really think she’s going to lose weight because she suddenly has a copy of DDR? Walking is free and she probably isn’t doing much of that either.
To answer your OP: I am heavy and yes I would be insulted.
Bullshit. You want to see me get rude, pit me. I promise I’ll reply quite rudely.
My point, which you apparently missed, is that the OP boils down to “How can I make my friend live her life the way I think she should?” The correct answer is she shouldn’t oughta do that at all. It is impolite to impose one’s will on others in that way. Dress it up in all the touchy-feely crap you like, it’s still sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong.
Seriously? Oakminster said “MYOB” with the “F” left out but implied. *That’s *denigrating, not what I said.
No thanks. I go into the pit approximately once every 4 months.
Whoops, missed the edit:
OP, what this really boils down to is this: how close are you and your friend? In my close group of friends, when someone’s life is hitting the skids, we try and help, we don’t throw them a pity party. One was dating a guy who, six months into an otherwise perfectly healthy relationship, started putting her down constantly. We gently pointed it out and the fact that each of us either a) said something without being asked or b) said “yes, he’s a jerk” when asked by her made her reconsider her choice. It doesn’t mean we screamed at the guy every time we saw him. We just made it known that he was an ass. Your friends know you better than you know yourself.
I took a long time before listening to them about dumping an ex, but in the end, what encouraged me (and encouraged me to do it sooner rather than dragging it out even longer) was hearing their pained voices in my head saying “lindsaybluth, he’s just not good to you”.
So, would your friend help you if your life hit the skids in some way? If so, help her. If not, don’t.
Being fat is not your life hitting the skids! Where the hell did that come from? Seriously, mind your own business unless the other person specifically asks for help.
Not insulted. I will be expecting my game any day now, then?
I’ve been on this earth almost 51 years and I still haven’t figured out why some people feel compelled to get into other people’s business in the name of being a friend. For me, if a friend felt compelled to tell me something as painfully obvious as my weight, I would be annoyed. No one knows better than me how overweight I am and it’s insulting to hear it from so-called well-intentioned friends.
heh, I guess I fit in with the SDMB… Just corrected some typos…
I wouldn’t have her open it under the tree in front of the whole family, at any rate.
It’s been twenty five years since someone saw fit to gift me with a Jane Fonda Workout tape. I still haven’t watched it.
So, yes, I’d be offended. If she’s heavy, hopping around from foot to foot may be painful, not fun.
Forget their feelings - if you love them you may be saving their life!
I found out I had diabetes about 20 months ago. I was in a funk. I was 37 and overweight. My mom got me the Wii Fit. It got me moving and motivated. Now I have run a 1/2 marathon, am an avid biker and am training for a full marathon. I have outgrown the Wii Fit, but it lit the fire for me.
Do it.
Maybe they don’t want their life “saved”. Maybe they’re happy just the way they are. Or they would be if silly do-good-niks would mind their own business.
Id only be offended if someone seriously thought that was going to be the answer to weight loss.
But trying to help someone isnt the end of the world. You should know better than us how your friend is likely to take it, because it depends on you two and how you relate with each other more than any magic rule.
Otara
Let me get this straight - you were fat, but then (with your mom’s help) you mustered up some willpower to get off your lardbutt and do something about it? And now you’re all athletic and stuff?
Geez, way to kill my self esteem, lady. I was all ready to defend my overweight self as just the way God made me, nothin’ I can do about it, but now I guess I’ll just fall back on calling my pre-diabetic condition a happy lifestyle choice.
Yeah, that’s the ticket.
Also, for what it’s worth – I’ve been trying to encourage my wife to exercise for a while, and she knows she needs to excercise, for some health reasons, but nothing seemed to spark her willpower on this. But then her family got a Wii Sport thing and she’s been really getting into it – not for the exercise, per se, but because it’s fun thing to do with her family.
So who knows, it might be just the thing, if you’re able to offer it (and she’s ready to take it) in the right spirit.
Do you think she’d be offended if you gave her a diet book for Christmas? I would be. It’s pretty much the same thing, unless you already know that she *really likes *DDR and wants one.
See if she likes playing on yours, as others have suggested. Even then, it might be a rude gift unless she actually says she wants it.
Moderator note:
You’ve “corrected some typos”…and broken a little rule we have about altering quotes by another poster. You are NOT allowed to alter a quote attributed to a real poster here, so please don’t do this again.
For the Straight Dope,
Spectre of Pithecanthropus