It was a contrived situation that didn’t really answer the question as to why someone would think that it would be comforting. But anyway…
That would be the subject of the thread, yes.
My stock answer for when people foist their prayers on me is to lie and say, “I appreciate it.” and I do my best to keep any hint of sarcasm out of my voice. I want to sound sincere in thanking them, otherwise, they get upset.
What reaction do you think I’d get if I was honest and said, “No thank you”, or “Please don’t.”? Or even just didn’t have enough thankfulness in my voice as I respond?
Unless you think that I’d get the same reaction from a “Thank you” as to a “no thank you.” then you are aware that they are imposing on me.
I honestly don’t know. And neither do you—unless you know those people better than I do, or are able to pick up on some non-verbal signals they’re giving out, both of which are entirely possible. But, just because some people would get upset because you didn’t sound sufficiently grateful doesn’t mean everyone would.
I didn’t; because, as I said, it assumes that the person who’s lost the keys is unable to give any reason why they’re not at the other person’s house. I suppose there may be people ditsy enough to say ‘I know they’re not there’ when they have no reason to do so; but the analogy fails because people in this society who are non-religious generally do have reasons to be so, and people who are members of different religions and uncomfortable about possibly being brought up in rituals they believe are wrong have that reason.
Again, this, exactly.
And it only goes one way. ‘You [majority person] are being rude, possibly without realizing it’ is itself considered a rude thing to say. ‘You [minority person] are being rude by challenging my beliefs’ (when the ‘challenge’ is only pointing out that not everyone agrees with them) is considered entirely normal.
We know some people better than you do. And we don’t always, on every given day, quite possibly multiple times in a given day, want to risk that type of reaction from someone whose reaction we don’t have a good way to judge. People who are grieving may especially not have the spoons to deal with it.
The other thing about microaggressions is that they’re generally not things that come up only rarely in one’s life. If that were true, they actually would be trivial. But they come up, in varied forms, over and over and over and it’s exhausting.
The person who asks whether it’s OK is signaling that they’re probably a safe person to whom to say ‘no thanks’ or ‘if it comforts you, sure, but I don’t believe that’. The person who just reflexively says they’ll pray for you is signaling that either they assume everyone is their religion and if not they ought to be, in which case their reaction is very likely to be negative; or that they’ve just never thought about it, in which case their reaction is entirely unpredictable.
I agree that there don’t seem to be any. But isn’t it common to use generic “you” and generic “me” to make general statements about hypothetical situations? As in, say, “you touch my Joe Shlabotnik-signed baseball and I’ll poke you in the snoot”, despite the fact that nobody on a digital messageboard can actually touch anybody else’s baseball? That’s all I intended by it.
Maybe I’m just incredibly laid back, but I found it rather amusing even though I don’t think it’s appropriate for a manager to send out. That said, I don’t think this alone would be grounds to sue your employer. i.e. Without a pattern of behavior showing a hostile work environment, I don’t think a lawyer would take the case.
Well, I didnt think it through in a lawyer-ly sense–I’m not saying one would have a case. Just that it’s certainly religious, and also inulting. Theres no place for that in a workplace. On a church sign? Sure. But not work.
Yeah. It’s kinda clever… in a “Eat shit and die, heathen sub-humans!” kind of way.
Would it make you feel better if you knew he was an 80-something old rich lawyer who sits in his office all day watching FOX news and, I guess, counting money?
Yeah, probably not.
(Remember their freak out over Dr. Seuss? On that Friday, he sent out a little poem “opposing” censorship. It was all I could do to not respond with ‘Fox news rots your brain’)
He does try to be funny. His office door has a sign that says “Financial Aid.” In his office, you sit in old fashioned barber chairs (“take a haircut”…get it?).
He’s a guy who founded a law firm 51 years ago and still comes into the office. He’s earned his right to yammer about whatever he wants, I figure. I should be so fortunate.
My Muslim mother says I’ll pray for you (and she tells me and my family she’s praying for whatever thing is going on in our lives - though I’m Lutheran so it doesn’t bother me any). It’s likely because you are a Christian heavy society.
Does your mother say this to friends and family primarily, those who most likely are of the same religious persuasion, or does she say this to the general public, people at work etc.?
He was recently talking to me about a disgruntled employee, who happened to be female. He explained to me that when a female employee is unhappy, “99% of the time it’s due to some issue with the home” (actually, she feels underpaid and overworked).
Or, when explaining why you need to be sure to charge enough when taking on a client, he’s explained that it’s like the “black preacher. In the black neighborhoods, they want their preacher to wear nice suits and drive a Cadillac. Similarly, your clients want to feel like they’ve hired a prominent lawyer. They’re proud of it.”
He also likes to tell the employees how much he and the other partners “love them.”
Things like that have always made me uncomfortable, and seem wholly inappropriate for an office.
Her friends are mostly Christian, so I guess… similar-ish religious persuasion? She worked as a stay at home mom, so didn’t have an opportunity to offer to pray for co-workers.
My Daughter (Age 6): Who was Jesus (who she probably discovered on YouTube)?
Me: Well, Daddy was raised Jewish, so we don’t really learn about Jesus. You want to talk to Mommy or Grammy about that because they are Presbilutherin or something.
My Daughter (Age 6): But do you know who he is?
Me: As I understand it, you know how on Stranger Things that girl Eleven has all sorts of magic powers and can blow up bad people and evil creatures with her mind and everyone thought she was dead at the end of Season One but then she came back to protect her friends?
My Daughter (Age 6): Yeah.
Me: Same shit.
My Daughter (Age 6): Are you going to Hell because you don’t believe in Jesus?
As a Christian how would I feel. I would feel that they are going to wish the best for me that they can. Even to many Christian saying I will pray for you is just the same thing as wishing good luck. If I tell someone I will pray for you I will find the time to pray for you. But prayer is not the complete answer. Man in a row boat during a storm and the boat starts taking on water. I believe he should pray, BUT he should also be rowing to shore as hard as he can.