Hmmm… today is my birthday. April Fool’s day (true, not a joke! When else would you expect ME to be born?). I’m 35… let me do the math for you: that’s 50% of 70 years old!! OH GOD! Where are my damn teeth? Oh! My back!!
Had a good B’day. Astrofiancee and my business partner took me out to a good restaurant where I was humiliated… forced to wear a silly hat and listen to everyone sing “happy birthday” in Korean, while pictures were taken to document my humiliation for future generations…
But now I’m alone: (Astrofiancee has gone home…) and I have to look back on the mess that is/has been my life.
I look at mortality, and spit in it’s face!
Mortality: You and I have an appointment… eventually (though I won’t tell you when…).
Me: Fah! I defy you, evil one!
Mortality: Defy as you will, fool mortal! We WILL meet! Your minutes are numbered… and you know it!
Me: Perhaps so… but I am ready!
Mortality: Are you?? MHOOO WHA HA HA AHA HAHA HAHAHAAA!!
So, let’s see: What have I done with my life so far? What did I want when I was younger? And have I done it? Shit, I dunno! Let’s check (in no particular order):
-Get laid: YES! (though not as much as I might have wanted… but I did! And even did earlier tonight! (Thanks, Astrofiancee! I love you!) Success!
-Travel: yes… been all over the US (several times), and been to Korea, Japan, Thailand, Canada, Mexico, China (Airport in Hong Kong)… OK, still some work to be done there! Need to get to China, Europe, Africa, and S. America… Qualified success!
-Hi, Opal! Success?
-Become famous: No… but discovered (at about 25 or so) that I didn’t really want to be famous, so let’s consider this a success! Success!
-Become rich: HA! Not so far! Working on it, though… Failure!
-Become an author, and write a great novel: No, but discovered that I really have nothing new to say! Consider this a failure… Failure!
-Fall in love: have done this daily, so Success!
-Fall in TRUE love: I got lucky here. Success! (Thanks, Astrofiancee!)
-Make a difference in the world: uh… no longer sure that I WANT to do this… call it a draw. Draw!
-Have a lot of fun: Yup… had more than my share, probably! Success!
-Try LSD: Yup… on many occassions, though not recently 
… Success!
-Become happy with myself as a person: Yeah, pretty much… I have some issues, but for the most part, yeah… Success!
-End all sadness and disease: Ha! Not even close! Failure!
-Figure out what the hell is going on here. I mean: what is the deal with this “life” and “consciousness”, etc.?: Nope… got some guesses, but that’s all they are! Failure!
-Learn: Yup, learning every day! Success!
So, by my count, I have 10 successes VS. 4 failures ( with 1 draw). OK, Mortality! I’m ready for you! Come for me when you have the balls to! Until then, I will work to make the failures into succeses! And, by the way, BITE ME, Mortality!
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