“I’m greysexual”
“I’m demisexual”
“I am Spartacus.”
Yeah, right. You and everybody else in the crowd.
Same here. Much as I like a chat occasionally, above a certain noise level or concentration of people in the room and I’m usually desperate to escape to someplace emptier and quieter. I’m one of those people who like to hang out in the kitchen at parties for just this reason.
I was going to mention “I’m a good Christian”, but it was already mentioned on the first page. As per “poet”, it’s a term that others must apply to you; you don’t get to decide whether you are one or not.
“I’m a real woman”.
and
“I’m a real man”.
Yeah right. Both mean that you don’t want to be bothered with half of the chores and responsibilities any decent person ought to shoulder.
On the same topic, here’s one I’ve said: “well, I’m hardly a manly man.” I just realised it probably comes off as an excuse to avoid social activities and my ignorance of basic knowledge of a lot of things.
My life, unfortunately, IS this.
I love to make hip hop instrumentals and DJ. I have a really good vinyl collection and I fancy myself REALLY good at DJing. However, I RARELY RARELY tell people about it in my normal social circles because, when you look at me, its like “Yea, right.”
Also, I really like going rock climbing, but, in my head, I know no one believes me or anything when I tell them I went/am going/like to go rock climbing.
edit: bisexual. I just can’t dig it. Especially when I only hear teenagers/20-somethings say it.
Yeah, “I’m bisexual” is one of them. Yeah, you might really be bisexual. They do exist. But lots of people who identify as bisexuals are kidding themselves. I’m not going to argue with you when you tell me you’re bisexual or try to assign you a gender role. But inwardly I’m gonna think to myself, “Uh huh.”
When I was veg-ish, I considered myself “flexitarian.”
I wouldn’t really ever tell someone that, unless they were vegetarian and wanted to talk about the subject. In most cases I’d just identify as “vegetarian,” as most people understand that pretty well and I’d always prefer a vegetarian meal.
But yeah, now and then, perhaps three times a year or so, I would eat meat. This may include special holiday dinners, meals at exceptional restaurants, sampling local specialties when traveling and situations where I was served something that I did not want to cause a scene by refusing.
I saw no real contradiction in this, as I was veg out of health concerns and personal preference, and it’s a lot easier to say “I’m vegetarian” than to spell out every detail of my personal eating habits. But lord knows everyone wants to play “gotcha” with the veg, and there is no way to satisfy some people. so now and then someone would make me trot out the special explanation as they were trying to make fun of me for eating gummy bears or whatever.
I’ve no problem with the term “bisexual” but I’m confused, at least, by the self-descriptor “queer”-- which at one time was a plain old synonym for “homosexual,” but now can apparently mean anything from “gay” to “bi” to “no preference” to “I’m actually flamingly heterosexual but I refer to myself as ‘queer’ to demonstrate how tolerant I am toward non-straight people.”
Don’t hear it much in person, but when I listen to Dan Savage’s podcast and a caller identifies him/herself as “a queer [such-and-such]” it’s never quite clear what they mean.
No, lay off of queer, straight peoples. Queer is a good word and so say LOTS of queer folks. Nobody’s taking it away.
Women who say “I just get along better with guys, I don’t know why.”
It always makes me want to say YOU KNOW WHY - you prefer attention from men, so you seek situations where you are the only woman and don’t have to compete with other women for male attention.
I’ll admit to being a pietaster.
That would be " others’ " and “and is in denial”. 
Actually, I understand that a common reason given by women who prefer men as non-romantic friends is that many men tend to be more tolerant of independent minded women than other women are. “Women want you to be mirrors of them” is one quote I heard years ago.
Also, women are more likely to want to spend a lot of time talking about fashion, makeup, and weight loss, which are three topics I have little to no interest in. I do have some good female friends these days who do not obsess over these topics, but it took me a while to find them.
I admit I use it in small part because I want to distance myself from the “bi to get the guy” sorority chicks out there. It’s annoying to get pulled into a conversation where the most likely response to my being honest will be “yeah, right,” as you can see above.
However, a big part is because it’s really not that simple. Human sexuality never is. “Bisexual” implies that I like men and women “the same” in some way – either in numbers of 'em that I find attractive, or that my attraction is blind to gender or biological sex, when none of that is true. There’s this perception that in order to “really” be bisexual, you have to, like, alternate between dating men and women or something. There’s also the “can I watch” reaction / attitude coming from certain segments of the population, too. So, rather than going into an extremely lengthy explanation of what exactly my sexuality entails, or having people rolling their eyes and pre-judging me because someone somewhere misused a label, neither of which I care to deal with, I opt for the broader and less fraught label. It’s accurate, it’s just not very specific, and that’s just fine by me. I’m not going to discuss details of my personal life with Joe Schmoe on the street, anyway.
It would be easier for the straights if more of us knew what it meant.
Here’s what Wikipedia says:
So… it’s the label to take when you’re not taking a label?
An umbrella that doesn’t always fit in a quiltbag. Or something.
Anyway, you have to know a bit of social context that’s unfamiliar to most before you really get what role ‘queer’ fills in the discourse. (Ditto ‘discourse’, frankly.)
I think it’s one of those terms designed to keep others deliberately off balance and unsure of themselves. A passive aggressive power play thingie.
Sure, I believe that is something these women say, but like the OP says, I am still thinking “yeah, right.”
Yeah, except…that isn’t me at all. I have zero romantic interest in any of my many male friends (and I doubt they have any in me–I’m not exactly a raving hottie :P). I just tend to prefer the conversation topics that are more common among nerdy guys than among most women. I like nerdy women–of my few female friends, all of them are either nerds, lesbians, or lesbian nerds. 
As for me, I’ll add: “I’m a synesthete.”
I am a synesthete (a rather common variety–color grapheme) and I often suspect that people claim to be one just because they think it’s cool. I don’t usually go around admitting it because I don’t expect anyone to believe me either.
“I’m a fun person.”