In some thread about “not getting” poetry, someone jumped in and posted sth like, “oh, don’t feel bad, I’m a poet, and even I have trouble grasping some of it.” Of course I had no context at all to judge this self description–never having read any of her poetry–but I’m afraid my immediate reaction upon reading it was, “yeah, right.”
Also, anyone tagging their self-identity with one of the performing arts–“I’m a dancer / I’m a musician / I’m a singer” – unless other people actually pay them to do these things, I kind of internally think “sure you are. Actually, so am I–all three! Watch me slam dance while I warble through this kazoo!”
I suppose all that’s unfair, but are there any self-descriptions that make you feel that way, at least in some contexts?
This is awful: but “I/my husband is a stay at home dad”.
This is really awful because my husband IS a stay at home dad. But he’s the only one I’ve ever known personally who took on the role voluntarily and takes it seriously. Every other one (and, I must admit, that’s been a handful) was someone who was a chronically unemployed man-child, and they pretty much just kept the kids from killing themselves during the day but didn’t contribute much to the household: their wives were still frantic with stress and worry and housework and 100% of the childcare outside of work hours. (And there are certainly some SAHMs that fit this description, and others that do not.)
I am totally open to the idea that a stay at home dad can be an equally productive member of a household partnership. My husband certainly is. But when someone asks me who watches the baby, I always say “My husband quit his job when the baby was born” because I want it to be clear that we made a choice here.
I must have missed that thread. I feel the same way. I have some favorite poets but when I “studied writing poetry” it messed me up for a couple years. I couldn’t write a thing. It took that long to purge the “learning” out.
Emily Dickenson stuck her poems in a dresser drawer. After her death—discovered and published by family.
I know my Voice. I don’t know if it’s “right” but I know it’s right for me. It conveys what I mean. That doesn’t mean I can get other people’s insights or should muddle my own feelings in trying.
I write different stuff; poems, songs, essays, short stories, books. I “feel” my songs but I’m tremulous with my short stories and, frankly, afraid to put myself out there with my books. But my poems? Don’t even try to change a comma, much less a word. My bliss is finding that one perfect word that evokes what I want to say but with different levels of meaning.
What was that thread again? I think I need to read it.
Here’s one I say about myself and think, yeah right.
I’m an artist.
I’ve been referred to by others as an artist, my work sells at art shows, yet… I don’t know. Sometimes, though, it’s just quicker to say that I am one instead of going into a 10 minute explanation of my feelings on the subject. So, yeah, I’m an artist.
“Poet,” as the poet Robert Frost put it, is a praise word–“Wait,” he advised a young self-proclaimed poet, “until someone else calls you that.” It implies a certain high level quality to your work that “writer,” say, doesn’t imply.
I prefer to stick to the factual. Depending on what we’'re talking about, I might describe myself accurately by saying “I’ve published several poems in literary quarterlies” or “I’ve published two books of literary criticism” or “I’ve published a story in a skin mag” which as the poet Walter Brennan said is “No brag. Just fact.”
I think all euphemisms for phoning people all day, to avoid the label ‘telemarketing’ make you seem ultra lame. I always think, “yeah right”
I would also, controversially, have to include service personnel who claim to be " protecting my freedoms". I got nothing but respect for the dangers you face doing a difficult job for your country. But claiming you’re protecting my freedoms seems over reaching to me. Completely unnecessary over embellishment. Of course soldiers don’t say this as much as people talking about soldiers do. And I will never call you on it, feeling whatever you gotta tell yourself is fine. But yeah, in my mind I’m thinking, ‘yeah right’.
“I’m a nice guy” is rarely said by guys who are actually nice. I’ve met a lot of unpublished writers who are going to finish up their stories any day now, once they decide on the proper names for their characters. And I’ve known a few inventors who claim that they came up with the idea for X, but it was stolen…these inventors generally don’t bother to do anything but come up with very vague ideas for new inventions, and they never test the inventions.
