I'm a bad, bad person

But really, it’s so fun crushing the little egoes beneath my heel. :slight_smile:

So, background. My university has an online ‘romance’ thing. The idea is you post an ad online, and you can chat anonymously to other people on it. Romance is expected, but not required.

I, like many others, merely use it as another way to meet interesting people within the university. I have made this clear in my advert. It includes various lines such as “I am just here looking to make new friends” and “I am not interested in sex”. Further, I make it clear that people asking for sex shall instead recieve sarcasm. Most people I’ve talked to have been fine with this - many are in fact relieved that I’m not looking to get them into bed after 5 minutes chat.

Only one small dark spot. About a week ago I got a message from a random person saying “hi. how are u?” (or something to that effect).

Two strikes already - It’s a very unimaginative way to introduce yourself, and netspeak irritates me. Still, I can get past that.

Two messages later, he basically asks me if I want to have sex with him. I politely decline. He immediately stops messaging me - without so much as an ‘ok, sorry to bother you’.

I then edit my ad to the afore mentioned one - before it was pretty clear, now it’s absolutely specific.

So, flashforward to today. He messages me again. First of all, he starts of with an absolutely identical message. I mention that we’ve done this before, and he responds “Oh, have we? I don’t remember.” (Paraphrasing again).

After double checking that it is in fact the same person, I confirm this. I further point out that he lost interest last time after I told him I was uninterested in sex. Once again… silence.

Two, three hours later. “are u sure you don’t want to give it a try?”

Glee! :smiley: He pissed me off before, but I was still feeling sufficiently polite to let him off easy. Now I can give him a hard time without guilt. Maybe I’ll feel slightly bad later but umm… no, never mind. I won’t.

So, I pile on the sarcasm. I can’t remember specifically what I said, but basically pointing out that if he hadn’t read my ad then he was an idiot for propositioning me, if he had then he was merely illiterate, etc.

His response (My jaw really dropped at this). “soz, but ur too thick to chat with me.” :rolleyes:

Needless to say, I couldn’t let it rest there - if I could keep him going this was the opportunity for endless fun. :slight_smile: (I don’t often get the opportunity to indulge my inner sadist). In the course of this he comes up with gems like “just cuz you have an ad doesnt mean I have to read it!!!” and the like. Eventually he decides that I’m not worth his time. I was griefstricken. Truly.

I mean really - how fucking stupid do you have to be to ask someone for sex three times, after being declined each time, knowing absolutely nothing about them despite the fact that they have freely and easily made such information available. I have no problem with people who are there looking for sex, it’s simply not my thing, but this is really fucking ridiculous (pun not intended). Ah well, at least I managed to meet some other people who were actually interesting.

(Note: The fact that it was a guy asking me was totally and utterly irrelevant. I simply wasn’t interested, and would have been equally uninterested if it had been a woman.)

I get random messages like this all the time, from people whose only qualification prior to asking for sex is, “r u f or m?” Don’t be too flattered.

that sucks

so will you have sex with me?

As regards a/s/l requests by complete strangers over messaging systems, I borrow the identity of one of the many people frequently seeking “lucrative business opportunities” with me and return: 49/male/nigerian.

In my experience, 99.999% of the asl-ers out there are looking for 18/female/swedish-blonde-huge-tits-no-knickers.

This is the quickest, most effective way to never hear from them again. It has a 99.999% success rate.

Believe me, I’m not flattered - when you know that absolutely all they’re going on is your screenname and the fact that you’re down as MsE (Male seeking Everyone), there’s not much flattering about random requests for sex. :slight_smile:

Istara: Heh, good one. Problem is that I’m already listed as male, and everyone on the site has to be a member of the university. Nice in theory, but probably won’t work in practice here.

djf750: Sure! Where do you live?

But see, it could have been Fabio[sup]*[/sup] or somebody who just wasn’t in the mood to get laid merely because of who they were. Are you SURE you don’t want to have sex with them?

[sup]*[/sup]Or Penelope Cruz. Or Tom Cruz. Or, or…Tom Jones…or Shirley Jo-…[clunk]

Er . . . does this mean what I think it does - that the clueless idiot messaging you is a COLLEGE STUDENT?


Someone at your school must owe his parents a HUGE favor, is amenable to bribery, or is subject to blackmail. It can’t be affirmative action or anything like that because morons are not a minority group.

Do you still have that one log on your site? That was fucking hilarious, but I forgot the URL.

I notice that a lot of Dopers have an aversion to netspeak. I wish I could get all my friends to stop using it; it makes them sound (read?) like morons.


I forgot all about that. :slight_smile:

Worse I’m afraid. Unless he was lying in his name & ad, he’s a graduate student in some form of science. Which means that not only did he succesfully pass a science degree somewhere, he further managed to get accepted into Cambridge university for their graduate course - not an exceptionally easy task last time I checked.

I suspect this is part of what about him pissed me off.

Dijon Warlock: Yep. Absolutely 100% sure.

But I don’t think any of those people are, or ever were, members of Cambridge university.

i have higher vocabulary than you!

I tell them 13/F/TX, and if they are still interested I have little guilt playing evil tricks on them. If they aren’t interested, but still want to talk, I can pretend to be an extremely precocious and strange young girl.

This would not work with a college dating service, though…this is just for people who IM you randomly.

Just call me Inga.
I don’t know but my website can kick your website’s ass.

A classic! You rock :slight_smile:

I always say I’m 35/B/F 400 lbs into femdom and biker gangs.

The scary ones are the 45 year old guys who are into that :frowning:

Actually that only happened once. But I reallyhave to wonder about my half of the species… how the heck did any male survive until age 30 with computers :stuck_out_tongue: In 2 min you agreed to meet a violent psychotic biker chick.

So I gave that up.