I'm a greedy, selfish straightdope leech

The BBQ Pit
1

I have a beef with myself. I only ask questions here and suck the life and knowledge out of everyone else. Occasionally I’ll thumb through other questions trying to find something I can actually answer, to give back to the system, but I can never find any, although I’m probably lying to myself and don’t check long enough. You are my herd of free expert consultants that bend to my every whim, and I don’t pay you anything. Even if there were a button to give you a free muffin I probably wouldn’t click it. I’m not a paying member and I…I…I… I’VE NEVER CLICKED ON AN AD. There, I said it. Are there even ads here? If there are I don’t even notice them cuz they’re not here. This post is also of course just a thinly-veiled attempt at soliciting attention.

I’m the person who STARTS THINGS. I’m the entrepreneur, damit, the radical genius. Nobody starts anything in this world but me. Answer your questions!? Pah! I could give a creative answer, but that takes extra time, and why waste that on you?

Why do you dope muggles in society flock to the creative people to worship or crucify? You’re just sheep and you know it.
So what do you think, could it be in my blood and bones to be a thread***-starter*** forever, or am I just a selfish anti-philanthropist?

(And just to be clear, this post is just to distract me from my work right now. I’m not actually suffering any serious emotional trauma. Should I be?)

2

Oooookay, wow. Lots of questions.

I’ll start with the end. No, you or anyone shouldn’t be suffering any serious emotional trauma.

As far as stating that we’re sheep and we know it: Bah.

3

Most folks have unrealistic private assessments concerning self-worth.
Thanks for making yours public, but meh… I’ve heard better.

4

You’re wrong about the emotional trauma. It’s there, clear as can be.

5

I know almost everything that’s worth knowing*, and most of the time I don’t know something I can research it on my own (if I can formulate a short question for a complex problem then the dope is sometimes quicker though). So without people like you, asking the questions, my life would be less interesting.

*This might be hubris, but what is life without an exaggerated sense of self worth?

6

To the OP: you’re okay even if you don’t feel like you are.

7

On the 1-10 scale of Internet eccentrics, you rate about a negative 55. If you really want to rile up the SDMB, you can:

[ul]
[li]Claim you talk to God and only you know how to interpret the bible.[/li][li]Be a diehard Trump supporter and rebut Doper accusations by calling them whiny liberals.[/li][li]Claim rape is impossible because women can simply close their legs.[/li][li]Tell transgenders they’re all going to hell.[/li][li]Provide YouTube links to unhinged conspiracy kooks.[/li][li]Be a birther, a truther, or a Hillary emailer.[/li][/ul]

or any combination thereof.

8

Shh. Hal’s lurking.

9

This might not be tounge-in-cheek.

10

Just another Schrödinger’s Thread here.
I can’t wait for the last post and find out of Squishy lived.

11

Donald? Is that you? :eek:

12

:frowning:

13

What about pie? Could we have that?

14

I’d also recommend…
[ul]
[li]being an anti-vaxxer[/li][li]claiming you cured your cancer with juicing and herbal supplements[/li][li]announcing that your favorite movie is The Phantom Menace or Starship Troopers[/li][li]describing your amazing new invention that ignores the laws of physics[/li][/ul]

15

OP sounds tarded. It’s cool. My first wife was tarded. She’s a pilot now.

16

To be honest, I think a well formed question counts as a solid contribution to the board.

17

Besides the fact that “Muffin Button” would be an excellent rock band name, I think that every computer should have one.

18

Leeches get steeches…