I'm a killer of thousands.

I woke up this morning to the lovely sight of thousands (okay, maybe it was only hundreds but it seemed like a lot and thousands sounds more menacing) of ants trailing between a nook under one of my kitchen cabinets and my garbage can.

I can only guess as to what I had rotting in there that was so delectable to them, as I wasn’t about to go digging through the bag to find out (although I was pretty curious). Naturally, I immediately bust out the Black Flag and go on a frantic killing spree, followed by the vacuum.

After changing the bag, I’ve spent my morning thus far sucking up the corpses left by my carnage. A brave few half-fallen soldiers, still moving, try valiantly to escape with their lives. But nay, I will have none of that. I suck up every last one, spray a little more around the area from whence the beasts emerged, and then eat my breakfast as usual.

I have committed genocide today. And I don’t even feel a thing. If anything, I feel satisfied. After all, they were infringing on my territory. I have a right to defend my home from enemy invasion, don’t I? Tell me I am not a monster!

We are aware. You have slayed countless drones, and yet the loss is more painful. Embedded in the drone battallion was my cousin Earl from Lexington. He was doing some research on Drone Mentality And The Synergy Of The Ant Hill for his Master’s Thesis.

You have wounded my Family and my Farm.

A terrible price shall be exacted, oh wielder of Black Flags.

Cartooniverse

You could have just boxed them up and mailed them to CalMeachum’s daughter.

Heeeeeeee. You beat me to it, I was coming in here to cross-post links. Heh.

Another exccellent SDMB moment.

You could embroider it on your girdle!