I woke up this morning to the lovely sight of thousands (okay, maybe it was only hundreds but it seemed like a lot and thousands sounds more menacing) of ants trailing between a nook under one of my kitchen cabinets and my garbage can.
I can only guess as to what I had rotting in there that was so delectable to them, as I wasn’t about to go digging through the bag to find out (although I was pretty curious). Naturally, I immediately bust out the Black Flag and go on a frantic killing spree, followed by the vacuum.
After changing the bag, I’ve spent my morning thus far sucking up the corpses left by my carnage. A brave few half-fallen soldiers, still moving, try valiantly to escape with their lives. But nay, I will have none of that. I suck up every last one, spray a little more around the area from whence the beasts emerged, and then eat my breakfast as usual.
I have committed genocide today. And I don’t even feel a thing. If anything, I feel satisfied. After all, they were infringing on my territory. I have a right to defend my home from enemy invasion, don’t I? Tell me I am not a monster!
