I'm a mean fuck? Only when I'm doing it right.

The BBQ Pit
1

I said I was sorry. Soon as you said I was being too mean, I pulled you into my lap, cuddled you and kissed on you. Apologised and said I was sorry, I didn’t think I was being that mean, poor guy, we’ll stop.

I cuddled you more as you pouted and said that, yes, I was being very mean. I kissed on your head and didn’t say what I was thinking which was that you’d completely misunderstood what I’d said and overreacted, because that wouldn’t have been very sensitive of me now, would it? So instead I just held you and tried to be comforting as I’d got your point the moment you asked me to stop - I’d upset you, I really hadn’t meant to do that, and was not about to continue doing so. Unfortunately you took this as your cue to expand on my meaness. You explain that just because I might like to be mistreated sexually sometimes does not mean everybody does. Uh, you asked me to spank you. I realise I’m not the most creative lover on the face of the planet, but I’d be at a loss for words while spanking someone if I wasn’t allowed to growl and call them a bad name occasionally. What I am supposed to do?

spank You’re so good with people
spank and I totally admire your sense of style
spank you have a good heart
spank people look up to you
spank your sense of humour is just as attractive as your superbly fit body… ?

“I think you have issues that you’re trying to take out on me.”

Huh? You asked me to spank you! Yes, I said something dirty yet complimentary about your butt that you didn’t like which I’d mistakenly thought was pretty porny, but I have apologised and am trying to make up for it. I am patient, I coo, I nuzzle, I don’t give voice to my own personal opinion that you’re being a priss and a half because that would just be rude and you’re entitled to your feelings. I truly am sorry. Shall we just snuggle or something instead?

“I don’t like a mean fuck. You were trying to be a mean fuck and I don’t like that. You may like that, I do not. I don’t like people to be mean to me in bed.”

I’m sorry but YOU ASKED ME TO SPANK YOU AND SPANK YOU HARD. I bite my tongue, make more apologetic noises. You continue to take me to task for another three quarters of an hour and then pout because I’ve lost my erection. Sorry but I think he wilted the moment you started giving me a script about what I can and can’t say to you in bed: “You say this, then I’ll say that, then you can respond with this, which will make me say this…”
Goddamn. I giving up and going vanilla.

2

It’s okay; forgive each other. No more spankings for anyone. No more tears. No tongue biting. No pouting. No mean words. Namaste. Just kiss and make up.

3

Were you wearing the panties your mother laid out for you?

:smiley:

4

spank I really respect you
spank and your skills in the kitchen know no bounds
spank I enjoy sitting and reading quietly with you
spank Lets buy a cat

Wow, I know I’m turned on.

5

Oh dear. You have my heartfelt sympathies, Potter. Have you explained to the prevaricating gentleman why the misunderstanding occured, and why it might be wise for him to think carefully about what he wants before asking for it?

6

I’m not sure why, but that one’s quite doing it for me.

7

spank Your chess moves show surprising imaginatiion.
spank You can balance a ledger better than anyone I know.

8

spank Those stretch marks are hardly noticable
spank When come, bring pie
spank You’re a lot better lay than your sister
spank Put your head down a little, I can’t see the TV.

9

Oh, no you’re not, angelwine. You’re waiting until the 15th, when you’ll be with someone who can do it right. :wink: :smiley:

kiss Death and other unpleasantness to the dicksicle who was a shithead to my boi. Grrrr! Don’t make me come over there!

When you borrow my boi you treat him RIGHT, goddammit.

10

Oh geez, I’m dying here. LMAO (so to speak).

spank All your ass belong to us.

spank That reminds me – your gynacologist called about your checkup next week.

spank spank spankaspankaspankaspanka Daaaaaaaaaaaay-o…

11

spank Now that is funny

:smiley:

12

This is why bottoming from the top just never works…-

13

Or was it your little sister’s ballerina outfit? Your post however has shed much light on a subject that has been bothering me for some time. I had no idea that men in Britain were capable of emotional interaction. :slight_smile:

Oh boy, I can feel the heat already…

14

looks at flood

flood dissociates into his individual quarks

15

as long as the third one was
spank Hi Opal

:slight_smile:

16

If you are like me, nothing greets a pair of rosy female buttocks bending over my butcherblock, peeking out of a apron and nothing else better than a 18 inch, 0.7lbs. Stainless Steel Perforated One Piece Spatula delivered swiftly along with a long soft kiss on the nape of her neck.

I make a terrific Baked Alaska too, or so I am told under heaving breath :smiley:

17

Can someone come over and help me scrape my brains off the wall?

Oh, and Potter, before you decide to go vanilla, you might want to check with her first.

CJ

18

i Knew the OP was out of character for matt :slight_smile:

poor potter.

people can be so contrary!

19

[UHF]

“What better way to say ‘I love you’ than with a spatula?”

[/UHF]

:smiley:

20

Scripted kink!

Awful. The worst. Maybe going back to vanilla would be best.