I'm a Noob

Dopers are also really big on conspiracy theory. The more outlandish, the better. If you have any crackpot theories that AmeriKKKa needs to wake up to, I encourage you to crosspost them to every subforum on the SDMB so that more people can see them.

Are you a noob or a nub? Oh well, welcome aboard!

Hi, BaileyC! Before I discovered the SDMB, I spent some time around the turn of the millennium on that Usenet site you mentioned. If you’re who I think you are, you’ve spent some time in the county from which I’m posting this message (check my location field).

BaileyC–art thou ready to submit to the Squid, the Castor Oil, and the Cream Cheese?

If so…we got a live one! How far can we string this one, til he/she tumbles?

Are you a he-Bailey or a she-Bailey? And either way it is the custom for all Noobs to stand trial so the older of us inmates can confiscate possessions. You can provide your own defense but it must have better showtunes than most of the book numbers from Man of La Mancha.

And don’t even think of ordering the veal today. It’s really cubed steak that they’ve switched the labels on. (Look for the sign of “Sloshy the Veal Calf” to know when its authentic.)

It is both, but sometimes we let the noobs decide which one goes first.

Oh, and I nearly forgot: Did you bring the chocolate and alcohol bribes, Bailey?