I'm a racist now.

The BBQ Pit
1

This is not a flame, but there’s naughtly language in it, so I’ll place it here.
There’s a guy in one of my classes. He’s always been very nice. Polite, well-mannered, mildly amusing on occasion. Makes small talk with me once in a while. He just happens to be of African-American descent, and I just happen to be lily-white.

Today, I saw him in the student union when I went to grab dinner, and he approached me while I was in line at Subway.

He: Hi, [racinchikki].
Me: Hello, [name].

A little bit of chatter while my sandwich gets made, about the test we had in class today and such, and then he gets his nerve up.

He: I was wondering, um, are you seeing anyone?
Me: Yes I am. I have a boyfriend.
He: Oh. He live around here?
Me: No, he lives in east Texas.
He: Oh. So, how about seeing me on the side?
Me: I’m sorry, [name], I’m really flattered, but I’m very committed to my boyfriend. ::playing with the ring on the third finger of my left hand::

Now, the guy I thought I was acquainted with would be kind of disappointed and say “Oh, well maybe we could hang out anyway?” or something. But then again, the guy I thought I was acquainted with wouldn’t’ve asked me to cheat on my boyfriend. No, what he did was get extremely angry at me.

He: You’re just a bigot.
Me: What?
He: You’re a racist bitch. You won’t go out with me because I’m black.
Me: No. I don’t care if you’re black, white, or pink with bright blue polka-dots. I’ve always thought you were a nice enough guy. I just won’t go out with you because I have a very wonderful and dedicated man in my life already.
He: Face it, you’re a racist whore just like all the others.

He might’ve been ready to continue in that vein for quite some time, but I headed him off. “Excuse me. I’ve another class to go to.” And I walked away.

Wow. I would’ve thought that to be highly out-of-character if I hadn’t seen it happen. I’m more surprised than anything else, really. Bemused. It’d be kind of funny if he hadn’t been so mad. I wonder if he has issues.

2

How old was he?

IMO it sounds like a defense mechanism he’s using because he was hurt. He sounds like a little boy.

3

::Pointing accusingly::

I knew it! I KNEW IT!
:smiley:

:rolleyes:
What a dick.

4

Well, before you change your name to racistchikki :eek: let me just tell you that you did the right thing, and that you will unfortunately have to get used to it. You will encounter this attitude far, far too often IRL.

5

A story from when I was in retail management:

3 black people walked into the store together–two men and one woman. The woman was a known shoplifter. I was the assistant manager, in uniform. The store manager was around, but not in uniform. She whispered to me that she would tail the shoplifter.

Within a couple of minutes, she saw one man helping the woman shove $300 jackets into a shopping bag. The manager yelled “Hey, what are you doing??” The theives dropped the merchandise and ran out of the store. Their friend stayed.

The manager went to call mall security. She asked me to to go tell the theives’ companion that they had left the store and to urge him to leave.

So I said to him, “I just wanted to let you know that your friends were caught stealing and have left the store.”

He started screaming at me “You just think I was with them because I’m black. You think all black people know each other. You think all black people are theives! You think all black people look alike!” And on and on. I asked him to leave, and he did, yelling all the while.

I felt really guilty, even though I was sure that he was with the theives.

And then I realized that some manipulative black people accuse white people of being racist because it makes the white people feel guilty and makes them easier to push around.

I think your “friend” was doing the same thing to you, racinchikki. Or should I say racistchikki? :stuck_out_tongue:

shit. I just previewed and see that Una beat me to the obvious joke.

6

Let’s not forget the “see me on the side” comment - this guy is obviously a total idiot. Correct response when someone turns you down for a date; “Oh, that’s too bad. Okay.” and carry on with your friendship. Whatta maroon. (Oh, I’m racist too - I’m prejudiced against purple colours!)

7

Yeah. That’s what I’m thinking - defense mechanism for hurt feelings/maybe trying a guilt trip, who knows. What, did he expect I’d change my mind - “Actually, let me dump my significant other and sleep with you to prove I’m not a racist”? :shrug:

It was an odd feeling, though. Like, “Dude, do I know you?”

Things may be a little awkward in class on Wednesday. I’ll have to find a new seat!

8

Oh, I forgot to add my opinion of his calling you names - anyone who calls me a bitch is cut out of my life completely. This is not a term that I am willing to hear from anybody, under any circumstances. Calling you a whore is beyond belief; I believe that might actually be in the realm of assault.

9

So now I guess you’ll be taking the SDMB moniker “RacistChikki”? Typical white racist whore activities! :smiley:

In all seriousness, It’s a pride saver. Pass it off as him being stressed out or frustrated with his life, but don’t make a big deal unless he makes it one.

Sam

10

He called you a racist whore??? Pass it off as him being a total asshole! A pride saver, my ass. You don’t grossly insult people just because they won’t date you.

I wouldn’t give this guy the time of day ever again. I mean I literally wouldn’t speak to him or even look at him. What a prick.

11

Man, that’s just crazy.

I guess I’m horribly sheltered 'cause I so rarely get to see racist attitudes (or assumptions of racists attitudes) like that. I mean, with you and jarbaby in one day…

And what the hell kind of person asks you to cheat with them as a viable alternative to dating?

[Old Fart mode]What is this world coming to?[/Old Fart mode]

12

My dad was told that he was racist for not buying from a salesman…on the phone! I’d have told him I was black too.

13

If he apologizes sincerely, I might not think of him as total slime. He definitely lost my respect, though. Between the “seeing me on the side” and the “racist whore,” y’know, that’s kind of not the sort of things you say and do in polite society.

14

Sounds like the “you must be a lesbian” face-saver I hear every now and then. But the whore and bitch part. . … Me, I’d go to class and sit next to him and say really loudly: “Oh my, there is no other seat for this racist whore bitch to sit at. I hope you don’t mind a racist whoring bitch sitting next to you.” Then turn to the student next to you tell them, “That’s what whatshisname told me the other day when I turned his sorry ass down.”

I tell my friends all the time, there is enough racism out there without you inventing shit. Just because something you think was bad happened, it didn’t necessarily happen to you because you are black.

Really, it’s The Man preventing him from getting laid.

15

Not telling you how to handle things, RACE, but you’re far nicer than I am. The only way that guy could ever climb out of the slime-pit in my estimation is if he apologized repeatedly and abjectly while pleading total temporary insanity – the only possible excuse for such a remark.

16

No, you should have said,

“Well, no. I just don’t like losers who can’t get a date without insulting another person and trying to convince someone to cheat on their significant others.”

Either that, or you should have said, “Actually, my boyfriend is black, asshole.”

17

I think he just said if for self vindication.

I had a funny instance when I worked at a Subway myself. At night around closing time, a young black man very rudely made an order, as if he resented even talking to me, and after I took it I told him the price. He got all huffy and insisted that no one else here had ever asked for the money first before handing over the food. As far as I know, every fast food place in the world does that. Before I could say a thing, he accused me of a racist and stepped back to wait.

Anyway, the next lady in line ordered - in Spanish - (I’m Portuguese- but I live right on the border in Texas so I know how to take an order in Spanish). She was very polite and seemed a bit intimidated in line there so I was extra nice in return. Maybe I wanted to make a point that to get polite service you should order politely.

Then the guy starts mumbling about “wetback ass people”. The manager (who was a black lady), who was keeping an ear to him every since his first outburst came out to show the jerk the door. The last thing I heard from him before he drove off was “nappy bitch”. She had the police called to follow him - because he seemed to have been drinking.

So some people just can’t get along with anyone.

Anyway I don’t associate his behavior with him being black, but with being drunk and somewhat crazy. But I do think there is knee jerk a “its because I am (insert ethnic label)” reaction that’s all too common in America, with people from any group.

18

Actually, racin, after a calm re-reading, I have some serious advice to offer you.

It really bothers me, the more I turn it around in my mind, what he said to you. And that he approached you like that, and with the suggestions that he did.

I’m going to give you some advice you likely will be reluctant to take, but I’m going to give it anyways.

You need to report this guy to whatever authorities there are on your campus. No woman deserves to be propositioned like you were, called by the moniker “whore”, and accused of being a racist. “Whore” and it is at least as offensive as any other one that someone might call someone they hate, and as such it is hate speech when said in the way it was said to you, to your face. The fact that he was willing to approach you, proposition you, and deride and demean you verbally in a public place scares me now. It makes me wonder if he might also think that "uptight white bitches just need a good rapin’ ".

You really, really, really need to report this guy, and get him into the system. Which means - get the incident reported, get people looking at him, get people talking to him.

19

He sounds like he’ll grow up into a fine stalker.

Anthracite has offered fine advice. I vote for taking it.

20

Hmm…

Anthracite, I do see where you’re coming from. I’d certainly be nervous around him.

But there is still the (strong, most likely) possibility that he just really liked her and lost it or something. If I were her, I’d continue like normal, but the second he ever said anything approaching that again, I’d see what I could do about protection.