I was attempting to say what Otto said, but I figured I’d skirt around it as much as possible, being a heterosexual male 
Sam
I’m a racist too.
Thank god Lola is helping me work through that part of my personality.
It’s hard, forcing myself to look at her or :shudder: touch her but it gets easier and easier as time goes on.
I was playing pool one night and this really drunk guy (He was Cree and I am pretty freakin’ white) kept insisting that I play a game of pool with him for a beer. I didn’t want to play him because it would have been:
A. Taking advantage of a drunk.
B. Too late to collect my beer as it was past last call.
I explained point B to him and also mentioned that I was already playing someone else and he got all nasty, telling me that I was being racist for not wanting to play with him. He told me he was going to kick my ass.
I pointed out my better half (Lola) and explained that he might want to take back the “racist” remark before I kicked his ass.
I was just telling my friends to hold my cue for a moment when this guys friend grabbed him, apologized, and hauled his drunken ass out the door.
Lola has experienced this, getting hassled by native men who didn’t like the fact she was seeing me when she should of course be dating within her own race, especially them.
Thing is, she’s Metis and Polish and more “white” than she is anything else.
For the record, I’m not really a racist and have no problem looking at or touching Lola.
In my younger days, I have actually had this approach used on me. It never quite got to the extreme of what you were subjected to though, racin. I did learn fairly early on that the best response to “How about seeing me on the side?” was simply, “Oh no, I’m not like that. How would you feel if you were my guy and someone asked me to cheat on you?” Usually stops em and let’s them cool down, though in my case it was usually followed by “Have you ever been with a black man before?” (Strangely enough, no man of any other heritage has ever asked me a similar question…) As I have dated black men, I answered honestly and assured him I was following my heart, but was flattered by his inquiry.
I hope your in class situation is bearable and this blows over quickly for you.
I’m with Anthracite too.
‘Losing it’ is simply not an excuse. It’s like saying sexual or racial insults are acceptable in the heat of the moment. They are not. If I decided to react to being turned down when asking for a date by calling someone a racist whore, I’d be suspended and marched off this campus so fast my head would spin. I’m not exactly in love with the idea of ruining someone’s college education over this sort of thing, but rules exist for a reason, for the protection of all, and unless they are uniformly applied, what is the point in having them?
So the other day I go get my hair cut. It’s pretty short. So I’m walking down the street singing along with my Walkperson to Nena’s “99 Luftballons” (which, for fuck’s sake, is an anti-war song), and I notice I start to get really skeevy looks. I mean, skeevier than I usually get when I sing along to my Walkperson.
If anyone had had the cojones to approach me about it, I was working on what I would say. Something like, “No, I’m not a racist. I would never judge anyone on their appearance or what language they are speaking!”
I never said it was acceptable. It automatically makes him a first-class jerk.
BUT
It doesn’t make him dangerous, which would be the only reason I can think of for reporting him. Yes, it was nasty. But this board is the only place in the world that I know of that you can get kicked out for just being a jerk.
Goddess bless the SDMB, where you can find either a defender or an apologist (even if they say that is not what they are doing) for any sort of behavior. From people thinking Bin Laden is a “hottie” to people deifying Clinton, to people kissing Bush’s feet. I knew that if I posted something, about 90% of people would agree, and of course, someone would jump in to defend this creep.
Yawn. I’m not even going to fight over it, because I think in this case people are defending the indefensible.
BTW, my quote of:
Was factually correct. I expect a cite if you are going to try and prove otherwise. And that will be mighty hard, considering it was a hyperbolic opinion. Yeah, no one ever did that here before (opens up another Search Window…)
As for it being hate speech: On my campus, even 10 long years ago, it would not only have been considered “hate speech”, it would have been grounds for consideration of expulsion. Why? Oh, I don’t know - maybe the sort of person who will rudely sexually proposition a woman and then call her a racist whore when she refuses is not a person you want around, maybe? Just maybe?
As far as we know, he is nothing more than a fucked-up kid, like you said, who has some serious interpersonal relationship problems. Good thing no one said he was a rapist, huh?
matt_mcl: Well, it depends - were you singing the English or the German version? Maybe you should switch to Rammstein.
This fool’s in your class?!?! Heck, that ought to get interesting next time the teacher asks you to comment about something in class concerning him.
Well, heck. That smilie’s not supposed to be there. It’s supposed to say “Jaw drops.”
I’m not going to do the direct quote, 'cause it may be offensive to some people, I don’t know, but this thread makes me think of “The Jerk” (movie w/Steve Martin). The scene where some criminal-sleezoid-types are trying to sell him an apartment building or something and assuring him that they’ll keep out the colored riff-raff (Steve Martin’s character was raised in a black family). Ok, I have to give the quote, and I’ll appologize ahead of time if this bothers anyone.
At which point Steve lays into the whole gang with kung-fu or something. Very funny.
You can stop this by saying
“And you, sir, are a race baiter.” In a calm manner. And walk away.
Any protestations that you had no thought of race, leads to a discussion, which I don’t think you want to have with a guy who just called you a racist whore.
The one thing that REALLY bothers me about people defending these actions is that they seem to imply that because a man has wounded pride (read EGO) it’s natural that he’d strike back with a barrage of hateful words, so just take it in stride and go on.
Come on, now. If a woman were to proposition a guy who turned her down for the same reasons listed, and she went off on him, calling him vile names (in PUBLIC, no less), you would say she was a slut who needed to be bitch-slapped into the middle of next year–and you’d be right, too. But because he’s a guy, he just got upset over rejection, and while he maybe shouldn’t have responded that way, well, we can be understanding. Bullshit. He acted like an ass and should have had his kicked. HAVING a dick doesn’t give you the right to BE one.
Wow. Are you really this illiterate? Did I defend the guy’s actions? Absolutely not, and I defy you to point out where I said that what this guy did was OK. What I did say was that while the guy is an asshole, someone who would try to get him in trouble with the cops or with the school over one outburst is a bigger asshole.
I take it that you’ve never lost your temper even once in your entire educational career? Would you think it fair and reasonable that you be expelled on the basis of one temper tantrum? If everyone were judged by your excruciating standard, then none of us would ever graduate.
Then, at the risk of invoking Gaudere’s Law and assuming that your college is public and not private, then your school is fascist and a trampler of the First Amendment.
Mayflower
No one is defending what this guy did.
Let me repeat that.
No one is defending what this guy did.
I totally agree with Otto. Yeah, the guy was a total jackass, but being called a racist whore is NOT an assault. If he had physically threatened you, then you’d have a case for calling in the authoritites, but turning the twerp in because of the words he used is the wrong response. Last time I checked, “thoughtcrime” was not yet against the law. Turning the creep in would be doubleplus ungood.
I gotta man
whats he got to do with me
I gotta man
I ain’t trying to hear that see
I prefer the above
Flows much YOU RACIST WHORE
These statements concern me.
I’m willing to allow, however, they’re probably just extreme statements concerning an extreme scenario. I would agree it’s not warrented to file charges over one vocal outburst. I would then go on to suggest it’s not extreme, and in fact probably a good idea, to file a report with the campus police over this incident.
If she never has further interaction with this individual, then a report with no charges made will not haunt his record forever. But if he continues to harrass her, and if that behavior leads to something worse such as stalking or attempted rape, then having a history of such behavior on file will help to make a case later on.
Because stalking or attempted rape charges are very serious, the burden of proof can be steep to overcome. I sincerely hope this is never necessary for racinchikki, but I’d still recomend she do it for her own safety and peace of mind.
Random tangent: if “thoughtcrime” is not against the law, how do you prosecute the theft of someone’s peace of mind?
inkblot
Filing a report with the campus authorities can lead to the guy being charged with, what, wanton insults? This kind of crap only makes it harder to take actual assault charges seriously, like the girl who cried “wolf.”
This was a one-time incident of name-calling; it doesn’t warrant police intervention. Now if he does it again and pattern of harrassment emerges, then yes, a report should be filed. But are you really going to call the cops every time someone calls you a rude name?
Merriam-Webster defines assault as “a violent physical or verbal attack”. What this fella did was not in the same ballpark as taking a baseball bat to someone, but it does fall within my definition of assault. I would not do anything about it other than what racinchikki did, but I certainly would keep an eye out on this fella. His actions are “red flag” type to me, like precursors to possible worse behaviour.
Maybe what is bothering me so much about this incident is how he seemed to feel he had some kind of right to verbally assault a woman for not doing what he wanted her to do, like she didn’t have a right to refuse his attentions. As women, we often feel vulnerable, and this kind of behaviour does not help us feel any safer.
featherlou, Merriam Webster’s definition is wrong. Mere words cannot constitute an assault, ever.
As far as “Hate Speech” goes, I guess it depends on the laws of the jurisdiction.
Look, I haven’t defended the asshole’s actions, and I can’t believe, though I’m not shocked that several people have read that into my posts, and the posts of others.
I’ve simply said that I don’t think this incident requires more of a look into it, unless something else happens.
That’s all I have to say about the subject.
Sam